To Catch A Falling Starbuck
by Kerensa
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica (70’s
version)
Pairing:
Starbuck/Apollo
Rating:
NC-17
Disclaimer:
I don’t own them, I’ll never own them, I’m so depressed.
Warnings:
angst alert
Chapter 1
Starbuck closed his eyes and let the sensations flow over
him. He was laying on his stomach on Apollo’s bed and Apollo was behind him,
and in him, and over him, and it felt so wonderful that Starbuck never wanted
it to end.
He felt like he was on fire. Apollo was heavy on top of him
and felt huge inside of him. The frantic in and out motions were sparking along
his nerves, driving Starbuck higher and higher. Apollo was rubbing all over the
back of him while the smooth sheets were stimulating the front of his body.
From head to toe.
Starbuck gasped as Apollo hit his prostate and he managed to
open his legs impossibly wider.
Just a little more, just a little more, that’s all either of
us need.
In ecstasy he opened his eyes and frowned. There on the
bedside table was Serina. Oh, not really Serina, of course. Just a picture, or four. Quickly
Starbuck turned his head so that he faced the left side of the bed instead.
Here it was almost as bad. Perfume bottles and a scarf. They
were on the dresser just waiting for their owner to pick them up again.
Frowning Starbuck closed his eyes, but it was no good he knew they were still
there mocking him. Serina’s clothes were still side
by side with Apollo’s in the closet. If he could look behind them Starbuck knew
he would see her jacket hanging by the door.
Three yarens and less than a day.
They were married less than a day over three yarens
ago and she’s still here. Apollo and I have been together for over ten sectars and friends for so many yarens
longer than that and you couldn’t find anything of me here at all.
I am a whore. Just like everybody has always said. First,
the orphanage whore. ‘Just close your mouth and take it you little slut or no
food for you tonight.’ Then the academy whore. ‘Open up blondie.
I know you didn’t get here for your flying skills.’ Later still, the Galactica
whore. ‘Come on over here behind this viper. I hear you’ll do it for anybody.’
Now I’m Captain Apollo’s whore.
With this thought running through Starbuck’s head he lost
any desire for…well any desire.
Apollo, normally the most attentive of lovers was too far
gone to notice when Starbuck stopped responding. Apollo climaxed deep in his
lover and then carefully pulled out to lay beside him. Happily spent Apollo
reasoned that because Starbuck wasn’t moving around he must have already come.
Feeling good, Apollo, who in his defense had had a helluva hard day, fell
asleep with one hand lying on Starbuck’s back.
Starbuck felt cold and sick all over. His hands and feet
were numb and his brain was overloaded with the epiphany he had just had.
Whore, whore, whore.
After a few centons Apollo began
to snore softly and Starbuck turned over to look at him. The dim light outlined
Starbuck’s beautiful lover.
Not lover, Starbuck thought. How could I have ever been so
stupid as to think we were lovers. You have to love each other to be lovers and
while I love you, Apollo, with all my heart and soul you don’t love me. Not
that way. As friends, maybe, at least you used to. I don’t know any more, maybe
I’ve messed that up too.
Carefully, so as not to wake Apollo, Starbuck slid out of
bed, gathered his clothes and went into the living area. He could change safely
in here because Boxey was fast asleep in his room.
Crying, Starbuck slipped out the door.
******
Apollo woke up a couple of centars later when the alarm went
off. He always set it so that Starbuck could leave before his son woke up.
“Hey Star, time to get up.”
The words died on Apollo’s lips when he saw that the other
side of the bed was empty. Empty and cold.
Apollo touched the bed and realized that his lover must have
left quite a while ago. This disturbed Apollo. He was used to waking up with
Starbuck curled around him or him curled around Starbuck. Just generally
entwined around each other. He missed the feeling and it bothered him. Normally
he had to work to get Starbuck up and out before Boxey got up.
I wonder why I keep doing that, why do I keep hiding
Starbuck and me? It’s not like anyone would care, I mean there are more same
sex relationships around here than you could shake a viper at. I can’t even use
the old argument about Boxey. It’s been long enough, I think he’s over Serina’s death and would be happy to see me find someone to
love.
Who am I protecting? Me?
Apollo ran his hands over the cold sheets and wished it was
Starbuck’s silky back instead. Saddened, Apollo got up to tidy the bed and
realized he didn’t need to. They weren’t dirty. The implications of that hit
Apollo like a kick to the chest.
Starbuck didn’t come last night and I never realized it!
Apollo was surprised, horrified and even more confused than
ever before. Starbuck had just lain there like he had been satisfied.
What in Sagan’s name is going on?
I’ll talk to him before patrol tod…wait we don’t have
patrol today. Alright I’ll talk to him at the party tonight. I guess.
******
So it happened that Apollo went against his instincts that
were telling him to go and find his lover as soon as possible. This was only
the first of a long line of mistakes that would come back to haunt Apollo. He
and Starbuck would suffer dearly for this mistake, but maybe it had to be this
way.
******
Apollo tidied up the room, straightening pictures, perfume
bottles, etc., without even noticing them. He felt cold and shaky.
And scared.
Starbuck, meanwhile, had been wandering around the ship all
night. He was too depressed to gamble and too upset to sleep. After he had
finally exhausted himself out Starbuck stumbled back to the BOQ and was the
first to take a shower.
Starbuck sat in the floor of shower and cried.
Chapter 2
Boomer looked up to see Starbuck coming into the BOQ.
Several of the guys kidded Starbuck about his ‘new girlfriend’ the one that had
kept him out ‘all night long’. Starbuck just ignored them, which wasn’t like
his usual outgoing self.
Boomer was surprised…and he wasn’t. He wasn’t because he
alone knew about Starbuck and Apollo’s relationship. He had accidentally found
out a few sectons before and no one else, not even Apollo, knew that he knew.
Boomer was, however, very surprised at Starbuck’s attitude. Normally he would
have laughed and kidded with the other pilots, if for no other reason than to
divert any sort of suspicion away from Apollo.
He hasn’t been himself lately. I wonder what’s wrong.
“Hey Bucko, ready for breakfast?”
“Sure, if you want.”
Everyone stopped and stared at Starbuck. Now they knew
something was wrong. The Lieutenant was always hungry. He was legendary for
some of the meals he had eaten. Not being interested in food was very
un-Starbuck behavior, unless he was depressed.
Inside Boomer groaned. If he was depressed it wouldn’t be
pretty. Starbuck normally had a very upbeat personality and it took a lot to
get him down, but if he did become depressed it was always bad.
******
Boomer watched as Starbuck got a glass of blue juice and sat
down at the table. It was obvious that this was all Starbuck intended to have
for breakfast. “C’mon Bucko, tell me
what’s wrong.”
“Don’t want to talk about it Boom,” Starbuck said quietly as
he drank the juice down and got up to get another glass.
“I guess you really like that new juice. That’s all I see
you drinking lately.”
Smiling sadly Starbuck didn’t say anything.
Desperate to fill the quiet Boomer added, “Of course I think
they could have come up with a better name than “blue fruit”. I think they
should have called it Starbuck fruit or something catchy like that, after all,
you were the one who discovered it on that last planet.
When Starbuck remained silent Boomer asked yet again,
“What’s the matter Starbuck.”
“Apollo is ashamed of me. I’m a dirty little secret.”
Stunned Boomer sputtered, “What! Don’t be silly, it’s
obvious how much Apollo loves you.” Boomer stopped when he saw his young friend
shaking his head.
“No Boomer you’re wrong. If Apollo loved me he wouldn’t want
to keep hiding us. Of course I don’t blame him because I am a ‘useless, nobody,
whore’.” Starbuck made this terrible statement in a curiously flat tone of
voice.
“Starbuck what are you talking about. Nobody feels that way
and who said that to you.” Unthinkingly Boomer contradicted himself by saying
no one felt that way and then demanding to know who said it. He didn’t catch
the contradiction, but Starbuck did.
With a pitying glance Starbuck said, “Don’t worry about it
Boom-Boom. I’m just tired and feeling sorry for myself.” Before Boomer could
say anything else, Starbuck continued on. “Don’t you have patrol? You better
get going.”
Boomer was torn. He wanted to help his friend and yet he
knew Apollo was really the only one who could do anything. Boomer determined to
confront Apollo tonight at the party.
Not liking leaving his young friend so despondent, Boomer
did acknowledge that he had to get to patrol. Glancing at his timepiece Boomer
realized he had to leave, now.
“Things will get better Bucko,” Boomer reassured his blond
friend.
Starbuck smiled sadly at Boomer and just whispered, “sure”.
Boomer hurried away, knowing in his heart he was making a
big mistake. Sadly, he was right.
******
After getting Boxey off to school Apollo did something he
had never done before in his entire life.
He played hooky.
He got someone to fill in for him at the duty office for his
designated work cycle and roamed the ship, looking for Starbuck. Despite this
Apollo couldn’t find his lover anywhere.
Starbuck meanwhile was also wandering around the Galactica.
He and Apollo’s paths almost crossed several times, but they didn’t.
Apollo finally gave up and went to help set everything up
for the party. Starbuck kept wandering and drinking blue juice. For some reason
he couldn’t seem to get enough of it. The more he drank the thirstier he became
and now he was getting a headache.
Chapter 3
Starbuck’s head felt as big as a triad ball. What he really
wanted to do was crawl into bed, cover up his head and sleep for a secton. He
couldn’t though because he had to get ready for Commander Adama’s
party.
Starbuck’s stomach started throbbing in time with his head.
For a moment Starbuck felt like he was going to throw up. He didn’t.
Pity.
******
Apollo stood in his father’s living room and waited
anxiously for Starbuck to arrive. Despite his best intentions he hadn’t been
able to find his lover at all that day.
Across the room, Boomer was looking for Starbuck as well. He
had looked for his friend after patrol but couldn’t find Starbuck in any of his
usual bolt holes.
Greeting his guests, Adama nevertheless watched his antsy
son. Something was obviously bothering him.
******
Apollo straightened up suddenly and
Starbuck.
Doing her best not to sneer at the pilot,
Apollo and…Starbuck!
I’ll save you Apollo, from yourself.
******
Before Apollo could approach Starbuck, Adama announced that
dinner was served. Everyone drifted into the dinning room and sat down at their
appointed seats. Unfortunately, Starbuck was far away from either his lover or
his good friend.
Adama was also watching Starbuck. He was surprised at how
little the Lieutenant was eating and amazingly enough he wasn’t drinking. Not
ambrosia anyway and that was Starbuck’s favorite drink. But Starbuck passed up
the ambrosia and drank glassful after glassful of the blue juice instead.
******
Excusing himself Starbuck left the dining room and went into
the living room. It was so crowded in there, he just wanted a little quiet.
Standing in front of the viewport Starbuck looked at
the stars and felt somewhat calmer.
******
“Hello Starbuck.”
Starbuck jumped when he heard
“Lovely view isn’t it.”
“Yes. It’s so peaceful.”
“You’ll never keep him you know.”
Starbuck froze. She didn’t know about him and Apollo? She
couldn’t. Oh Lords, she did. What should he do now?
Starbuck began to panic and as his heart started to race he
began to feel odd. Very odd.
******
Starbuck felt
“…you are one of the most pathetic excuses for a person I
have ever seen. What in all the Lord’s of Kobol ever
made you think you were good enough for Apollo? He’s the commander’s son for Sagan’s sake and you are nothing but a useless nobody. No
wait, I take that back you are good for something. Spreading your legs for
anybody who walks by and some who don’t even…”
Starbuck whimpered and covered his ears, desperately trying
to block her out.
“Please stop.”
Starbuck’s legs gave way and he fell to his knees, tears
pouring down his face.
“Please…stop.”
Not so pretty now are you Starbuck. Let’s see Apollo give
you a second glance, especially when he hears you blubbering.
So intent was she on her victory,
Starbuck was gasping for air. The pain in his head and in
his soul was so intense he thought, he hoped, he was dying.
“Pleasestoppleasestoppleasestoppleasestoppleasestoppleasestoppleasestoppleasestop…please…”
Chapter 4
Starbuck felt like he was floating. Something very tenuous
was holding him to his body. Starbuck just wanted the pain to stop. Everything
hurt so much. Please make it stop. Very far away he could hear voices. The hurtful
one and a friendly one. If only he could catch hold, maybe he wouldn’t float
away. Please help me, Apollo. That’s it, he needed Apollo. Where was Apollo?
******
Apollo came running when he heard Boomer yelling. He stood
stunned at the sight of Boomer, nice quiet Boomer, shaking and yelling at
“pleasestop…please…”
Apollo landed beside Starbuck in time to hear the last of
his desperate plea.
“Starbuck! Starbuck talk to me.” There was no answer.
“Lieutenant Boomer what’s going on?” Adama said quietly. The
authoritative voice halted Apollo’s questioning, Boomer’s ranting and
Boomer explained what he had walked in on while
Apollo, meanwhile, was watching Starbuck, unsure of what to
do. He wanted to hold the blond but was leery about exposing their relationship
without Starbuck agreeing to it first. So, again he hesitated. Another mistake
was made and this one sealed Starbuck’s fate.
******
Starbuck felt something snap and for a moment he hovered,
desperately reaching out for someone to hold onto. Something. Anything. But
there was nothing and Starbuck drifted away.
******
“Bucko…talk to me buddy.” Boomer carefully shook Starbuck’s
arm.
Apollo decided he was just being a coward. He finally put
his arms around his lover and felt Starbuck sag against him. “Starbuck?” Apollo
took Starbuck’s chin in his hand and gently tilted his head back. Apollo gasped
at what he saw and jerked back. The abrupt movement made Starbuck fall
backwards. Luckily, Boomer grabbed his arm and Apollo recovered enough to grab
the other one. They laid Starbuck down on the floor and now everyone could see
what had so upset Apollo.
It was Starbuck’s eyes.
His normally bright, lively eyes were blank and staring.
Apollo looked into his lover’s eyes, the eyes that were
usually so filled with love and light…and he saw nothing looking back. Apollo
felt like he was going to throw up.
The medics from
Apollo, Boomer, Adama and Colonel Tigh went with Starbuck to
the
******
“Tell me exactly what happened here,” Salik ordered as he
began to examine Starbuck.
Boomer told about the confrontation he had witnessed between
Starbuck and
“What’s this on his sleeve?” Salik interrupted, pointed to a
blue stain on Starbuck’s sleeve.
“It’s that blue juice that Starbuck loves so much. He’s
always drinking it and eating the fruit.” Boomer stated.
“Yes, I noticed tonight that he even declined Ambrosia in
favor of the blue juice.” Adama stated.
Salik panicked and stated yelling at Cassiopeia to run a new
set of diagnostics. In trepidation the other men watched Salik’s
frantic actions. “I’ve had several people come in who are apparently allergic to
this fruit. It acts like a stimulant on the system. Whatever emotion the
drinker is feeling when the level becomes toxic is magnified.”
“Magnified how much?” Adama requested, looking worriedly at
the young man he considered to be another son.
“It depends on the amount of fruit consumed. The more eaten
the worse the symptoms are.”
Apollo and Boomer look at each other, horrified, as they
related just how much of this fruit Starbuck had been eating. Meanwhile, Salik
gave Starbuck a shot to try and neutralize the toxins in his body.
“It’s going to take a while for the poison to get out of his
system and I hate to tell you gentlemen, it’s going to get worse before it gets
better.”
“Worse,” Apollo yelled. “How can it possibly get worse.”
Apollo’s question was answered when Starbuck began to have
another, this time massive, seizure.
“Everyone out, now.” Salik ordered as he, Cassiopeia and two
other medtech’s worked to stabilize Starbuck. “Dr. Paye I need your help, NOW!”
******
As they were leaving the Life Center Apollo heard someone
laughing. Stopping he glanced into one of the other rooms and saw a woman who
couldn’t seem to stop laughing. Frowning, he watched as the medtech
gave her a shot.
“She just drank a little of the juice.” The quiet voice
behind Apollo startled him. Turning he saw a man he didn’t know. “I’m Epius and that’s my wife, Sharna.
I just found out she’s allergic to that new blue juice. She didn’t even drink
very much of it and now she can’t stop laughing.” Glancing back to where Starbuck
was surrounded by medical personnel Epius stated, “I
hope your friend is all right.”
“Thanks, I hope your wife is okay.” Apollo left the worried
husband and went outside to wait.
******
Adama and Boomer watched as Apollo paced back and forth. They had given up
trying to make Apollo sit down.
Salik walked out looking tired. “The good news is that we
stopped the seizure. The bad news is I’m not sure if he will have any more.
It’s going to take several days for the toxins to completely leave his system.”
The three men silently absorbed this information. They
looked up in trepidation when the doctor began to speak again. “There is more
bad news. Starbuck appears to be catatonic.
“It wasn’t only
“What do you mean Lieutenant?” Again Adama’s
quiet authority calmed the people in the room.
“Starbuck has been really depressed and feeling pretty
worthless lately.”
“Uhmm…well that certainly would have
exacerbated the symptoms. I’m sorry gentlemen I have to go now.”
“Wait doctor, can I sit with him.”
Salik looked appraisingly at Apollo and finally nodded his
head. “Certainly. It can’t hurt. Try talking to him, sometimes that helps.”
Apollo wasn’t comforted by the doctor’s attitude, but he was
grateful that he could stay with his lover.
After everyone else left, Apollo sat down by Starbuck’s bed.
The blond was so pale and surrounded by ominous looking equipment. Starbuck
looked very fragile. Apollo started to cry.
Holding Starbuck’s hand he began the long wait.
Chapter 5
2 days later
“Doctor it’s happening again.”
“Damn.” Salik hurried back into Starbuck’s room and watched
helplessly as the young man thrashed around and cried out. His hands were held
out in front of himself like he was trying to fight someone off.
Whatever was happening in Starbuck’s mind was intense and
Salik was at a loss how to help him. He and Paye had
finally found out what was causing the extreme reaction in Starbuck. The
tannins in the fruit that caused it to be a dark blue color reacted chemically
with certain people.
Namely Caprican people who had the
blood type B+. As this was a rare blood type the reaction had never been
noticed before. Salik had talked with Starbuck’s friends and discovered that he
drank light wine, because he always got a headache if he drank the dark colored
wine. The tannins in the blue fruit were more concentrated than in anything
else he or Paye had ever seen.
In addition Starbuck had contracted a mild case of the flu
that that made him extremely thirsty. The more he drank the worse his reaction
to the fruit and the thirstier he became, in an endless cycle and the reaction
had been explosive.
Some of the other people who had reactions to the blue fruit
were also reacting badly to the medicines used to help them. In one case the
man had actually gotten worse. The last thing Starbuck needed was more
complications. As a result, Starbuck’s body was on it’s own.
Cassiopeia was talking quietly to Starbuck trying to calm
him down. It helped a little, but really the only one who could help Starbuck
was Apollo and right now he wasn’t there. A couple of centars earlier Salik had
insisted that Apollo go back to his quarters and get some rest. Apollo had to
be forced and it was only when the doctor had threatened to sedate him that
Apollo relented.
Starbuck finally quieted down and fell asleep. The medical
personnel left the room as quickly and quietly as they could. Starbuck was
having a hard time sleeping, so when he fell asleep everyone kept away.
Until the next nightmare.
******
Starbuck crouched down. If he made himself small enough the
big man wouldn’t find him. He scooched back into the
closet and tried to quietly pull the hanging clothes around him like a curtain.
Shhhh…don’t make a sound.
If he can’t find me, he can’t hurt me.
I wish it wasn’t so dark.
******
Apollo tracked Boomer down in the messhall.
He was supposed to be sleeping and knew that Salik would have a fit when he
found out, but Apollo needed to talk to his friend.
“Apollo what are you doing here? Has something happened?”
Boomer looked fearfully at his friend.
“No,” he hastened to reassure his friend, “everything’s the
same.”
“At least the seizures stopped.” Boomer said trying to give
some hope to the Captain. “Is he still doing that staring thing.” Apollo nodded
grimly. When Starbuck wasn’t having a nightmare, daymare,
whatever, he just laid and stared straight ahead. It didn’t matter what he was
looking at, Starbuck never focused on anything or anyone.
Both men sat grimly, contemplating their stricken friend.
Other people in the messhall stayed away. It wasn’t
that they were unsympathetic, they knew how close the two men were to Starbuck
and they wanted to give them some breathing space.
Gathering his courage Apollo asked, “Boom can we talk a
centon.”
Boomer eyed his uneasy friend and steered him to a table in
a quiet corner of the room. “What is it buddy?”
“The other day you said Starbuck had been feeling…”
“Depressed and worthless,” Boomer supplied quietly.
“Yes. I was wondering if you knew why.”
Boomer thought for a few centons
before answering. “I don’t want to betray Starbuck’s trust.” Apollo didn’t say
anything, allowing his friend to make his own decision. “But I want to help him
too, so okay. Starbuck feels like a whore.”
Apollo gasped, “Wh…what? Why would
he feel that way?”
Boomer looked steadily at his normally smart friend and
decided shock tactics were in order. “Maybe because you are having sex with him
and then acted like he was daggit droppings.” Boomer
watched Apollo’s bewildered face. “No, he didn’t betray you. I found out by
accident.”
“But, but…I…” Apollo sputtered.
“You became involved what, nine or ten sectars
ago right?” Apollo simply nodded, his mouth hanging open. Not his best look,
but to say he was surprised was the understatement of the millennium.
“Since then you have changed the way you treat Starbuck in
public. You barely acknowledge him when he comes in a room. I know it’s not
much, but you know how insecure Bucko is and…okay how do I put this.” Boomer
looked steadily at his friend for a centon. “Apollo I want you to go back to
your rooms and look around. I mean really look around, like you were seeing it
through Starbuck’s eyes. If you can’t figure out what’s wrong, come back and
I’ll help you.”
Silently Boomer thought, ‘if you can’t figure out what’s
wrong then you aren’t the decent person I know you to be.’
******
Determined, Apollo strode into his front room. He knew
Boomer was right, he had been acting badly around Starbuck, because he was
afraid of anyone finding out about their relationship. What if Starbuck left
him, he would be devastated.
Apollo stopped abruptly in the middle of the floor. He did
leave me, whether he wanted to or not.
More determined than ever Apollo thought back to the night
everything had changed. Apollo went into the bedroom and stood looking around.
All right, everything was fine. We were making love and then
something happened to upset Starbuck. What could it have been. I know, I’ll put
myself in Starbuck’s place and maybe that will help.
With this in mind Apollo laid down on his bed. Staring up at
the ceiling didn’t give him a clue as to what was wrong. Realizing his mistake,
Apollo turned over onto his stomach. Looking towards the dresser he still
couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Then he turned his head to the right.
Serina.
Apollo sat up abruptly and stared. Slowly he turned back to
the dresser and looked at it. Apollo jumped up off of the bed and turned in a
circle, really looking at his bedroom for the first time in yarens.
What he saw sickened him, it was a veritable shrine to his dead wife.
What it must have done to Starbuck to see this every time
they came in here. How it must have hurt to be making love with Serina in the room.
Oh my god…
Apollo’s sat down abruptly, missing the bed and falling to
the floor. He didn’t even notice it.
It’s all my fault.
******
Apollo sat beside his lover, watching him watch the ceiling.
“I’m so sorry baby, please come back to me. I love you so
much. I don’t want to live without you.”
Crying, Apollo leaned over and kissed an unresponsive
Starbuck on the lips.
Outside the door, Commander Adama watched his son kiss
Starbuck. Finally, he thought.
Chapter 6
*I want to thank Guldukat for the
Apollo leaned in the doorway watching Starbuck. Tears filled
his eyes at seeing how pale and thin Starbuck had become. The dark blue
hospital clothes only accentuated how wan and frail he was.
Salik walked up and stood by Apollo. “There has been
improvement.”
This simple statement shocked Apollo who whirled around, his
heart pounding with hope. “There has? Where? I don’t see it. Why didn’t you let
me know?”
Salik broke into the tirade when Apollo paused to breathe.
“Yes there has been. Watch and see. And I just let you know.” Smiling tiredly
he added, “it’s only been noticeable today and don’t get too excited yet, it’s
slight.”
“I’m glad to hear that Starbuck is finally getting better,”
said Adama quietly as he came up behind the two men.
“Yes. I just hope it’s in time,” Salik said.
“What do you mean,” asked Apollo anxiously as he watched his
lover sitting in a chair beside his
“Apollo, look at him. I mean really take a good hard look at
him. It has been two sectons since he became ill. Starbuck is exhausted
physically and emotionally. He is being fed through the VacTube
and that is no substitute for eating and he can’t sleep for more than a centar or two at a time.”
Salik looked at the two men who alternated between watching
him and watching Starbuck. “Every time Starbuck has one of his nightmares his
heart rate shoots through the ceiling and he almost hyperventilates. After the
last one we had to put him on oxygen for a while. He is getting weaker by the
day gentlemen. If he doesn’t come out of this fugue state fairly quickly he
will probably die.”
The horrified looks this statement earned made Salik sigh
sadly. “I’m sorry, I really am. I just thought you should be prepared.” Salik
walked off leaving two despondent men behind.
Apollo looked really, really hard for the improvement Salik
had talked about. It was finally Adama who noticed that the Lieutenant would
turn his head slightly if there was a noise nearby. Apollo was devastated to
realize this was the *great* improvement. Adama tried to comfort his son whose
heart was breaking.
Starbuck continued to sit in his chair, staring off into
space.
Two Days later
Apollo stood watching Starbuck who was once again in his
chair. Every once in a while Starbuck would tense up, his whole body shaking,
as he *almost* had one of his nightmares. Afterwards Starbuck would slump down
in his chair and gasp for breath.
Boxey rushed into
“Hi Uncle Starbuck. I just got out of school and we learned
some of the neatest things today. I learned about dragons and unicorns and
didn’t you tell me about some unicorns you saw on a planet once? That sure
sounds nice and maybe I can see some some day. And we
learned about…”
Apollo smiled indulgently at Boxey’s
rambling speech. He looked over at Starbuck and gasped in surprise. Starbuck
had the same kind of smile on his face.
“…and Auntie ‘Thena brought some
chocolate chip cookies for us to eat.” Boxey pulled out a slightly smashed
cookie from his bag and waved it under Starbuck’s nose. “Doesn’t it smell
good.”
Starbuck sniffed and smiling, nodded his head ever so
slightly in an ‘almost missed it’ kind of way.
“You wanna bite Uncle Starbuck?” At the slight nod Boxey
said, “okay but you have to open your mouth for me.” After a few microns of
hesitation, Starbuck opened his mouth and accepted the piece of cookie that
Boxey carefully placed in there.
Meanwhile, Apollo was frantically waving to Dr. Salik. Salik
arrived in time to see the stricken warrior obediently open his mouth and take
another bite from Boxey.
“It’s good isn’t it.” Another nod, this one a little more
noticeable.
“I have a present for you, I made it in class. Wanna see.”
Bigger nod. “See it’s you in your viper flying out in space.” Boxey held the
drawing in front of Starbuck’s face and after a few microns Starbuck’s eyes
slid over to the paper and he smiled.
The two observers were stunned and delighted to see Starbuck
actually focus on something for the first time in over three sectons.
Starbuck declined more cookie with a smile and shake of the
head. He was once again staring off into space, but this time he kept smiling
and he was obviously still listening to Boxey’s
stories.
******
Mmmm…chocolate. Uhmmmm…where am I?
Am I in space? It’s so dark. Wait…what’s that? Is that a viper?
******
Watching Starbuck and Boxey interact Apollo felt a plan
starting to come together in his head. Apollo gathered Boxey and his things
together and then he quickly took Boxey over to his grandfather’s where he
would spend the next several days. Full of hope, Apollo approached Salik with
his idea.
“What do you think? You admitted Starbuck really only sleeps
when I’m with him and you saw the way he reacted to Boxey.”
“Apollo…”
“In more relaxed surroundings he might be able to rest even
more…”
“Apollo…”
“…and you know how much he hates being in the
“*Apollo*!”
Several people jumped
at the yell and Apollo looked at the doctor, wide eyed, but at least he stopped
talking and listened.
“Thank you. Now, I agree. Having the Lieutenant stay with
you is an excellent idea. You can always call me if there are any problems and
I can check up on the two of you during the day.”
“Oh. Thank you doctor. Can I move him right away?”
“Yes, Captain. Why don’t you go tell the Lieutenant while I get everything
ready.”
******
“Star baby, I want to talk to you.” Starbuck turned his head
and seemed to notice Apollo’s approach.
“How would you like to get out of here?” Starbuck’s smile
encouraged Apollo who continued, “you are going to come and stay with Boxey and
me.” This time there was a slight frown. “Please baby, I want you to and so
does Boxey.” The smile returned and Apollo hugged Starbuck.
******
It was a nice plan, but ultimately it didn’t work.
“Nice hairdo.”
“Thank you, I’ve been thinking of cutting it for a while
now.”
“Damn, but I’d give a secton’s pay
to know who did that to her.” Giles said to Greenbean
as he walked up beside the tall warrior. “I’m surprised she didn’t dump whoever
did that into trouble. She had the crap beat out of her and couldn’t sit
comfortably in her viper for 3 days.” Greenbean
grinned at that image.
“Yeah, hitting military personnel is a serious offence. I
would have figured she would swallow her pride in order to get back at whoever
did it.”
“Well then it must have been a civilian, don’t you think
boys.” Both men watched Cassiopeia saunter by. As she glanced back over her
shoulder they were amazed to see a predatory smile on her face.
“Wow,” they uttered in unison.
******
Apollo walked down the corridor pushing Starbuck’s hoverchair. He was soooo happy,
he just knew this would do the trick and get Starbuck to wake up.
It would. It just *had* to. Please.
Apollo stood up tall, back straight, determined. It would
work. There was no way he was losing Starbuck. No way in hell.
Starbuck was still smiling and looked more relaxed than he
had since this mess all started. He hadn’t had one of his tensing up spells in
over a centar. Starbuck was responding more and more
the farther they went in the ship. He would turn his head some when he heard a
particularly loud noise, like a laugh or something falling.
“Hey Apollo.” Boomer said as he came up to the two men and
squatted down in front of Starbuck. Gently he said, “Hi Bucko. It’s good to see
you out and about.” Starbuck smiled brightly when he heard Boomer’s voice.
Heartened, Boomer and Apollo grinned at each other.
“Hi guys, hi Starbuck.” Jolly came up too and patted
Starbuck on the hand.
By now word had spread of Starbuck’s departure from LifeCenter and several of his friends came rushing up to
see him. Lots and lots of friends. All crowding around and talking to Starbuck.
Apollo noticed that Starbuck wasn’t smiling anymore. His
head was jerking all around as he tried to listen to everyone at once. Apollo
stepped in before his lover could get any more upset. “We’re going to go on
now.” Apollo’s voice stopped all the talking. Placing his hand on Starbuck’s
trembling shoulder he continued, “this has been a really stressful day for
Starbuck.”
Starbuck’s friends immediately backed away, they didn’t want
to cause a setback. Apollo pushed the hoverchair
through the wall of people, talking quietly to Starbuck the whole time. He kept
running his hand up and down over Starbuck’s neck and shoulder, soothing him.
******
“Everybody was really glad to see you baby. I thought it was
getting kind of crowded myself, didn’t you?” Starbuck nodded shakily as Apollo
steered them into his rooms. “We’re here, safe and sound.”
“I bet you’re ready to get out of this chair, you’ve been
sitting up for 4 centars now. Hey, that’s a record for you.” As he was talking,
Apollo took Starbuck into the bedroom, picked him up and laid him on the bed.
As they lay on their sides facing each other, Apollo brushed
the hair from his lover’s eyes and kissed him ever so slightly. Apollo thought
Starbuck’s lips moved against his, but he couldn’t be sure.
“Why don’t you try and sleep now. I’m right here and I’m not
going anywhere. That’s it, close you’re beautiful eyes for me.”
Apollo waited until he was sure Starbuck was asleep before
closing his eyes to try and get a little rest. “I love you Star,” he whispered
as he was falling asleep.
Starbuck smiled in his sleep.
Chapter 7
A centar and a half later Apollo
heard Starbuck moaning. Before he could attempt to calm him, Starbuck began to
toss back and forth on the bed.
“Shh, shh,
Star, calm down. It’s all right, you’re safe.” Starbuck kept thrashing and
started whimpering. Apollo was at a loss what to do. He couldn’t calm Starbuck
down this time. Then Apollo had another idea.
“Starbuck, listen to my voice. I want you to try and
concentrate for me, listen to my voice and follow it. I’m on a beach,
******
He’s after me again. I don’t know where to hide. Please
somebody help me.
What’s that, what do I hear? Apollo’s talking to me again.
He’ll protect me, I know he will. Where is he? Cala. Cala? Oh yeah, I remember
If that’s where ‘Pol is then
that’s where I’m going.
Wait for me. Please don’t leave me here…alone.
******
Apollo watched as his lover calmed down, his breathing
slowly evening out. He kept murmuring to Starbuck in a soothing voice.
Eventually Starbuck’s body relaxed and he lay panting softly on the bed.
He looks so tired. He’s so pale and his beautiful blue eyes
are almost ringed with dark circles. I’ve got to find a way for him to relax
enough to sleep longer. But how…wait a centon…that just might work.
Apollo waited until Starbuck drifted off to sleep and then
he hurried in to call his father on the comm channel.
******
Adama watched as his son brought
Starbuck’s hoverchair into his living room.
“Are you sure you don’t mind,” Apollo queried his father.
“Of course not,” Adama replied, finally looking away from Starbuck. “I want to
do anything I can to help.”
Apollo smiled brightly and the hope that shone through made
Adama blink in surprise. Apollo had never, ever looked that content. Not even
when he had become engaged to Serina had Apollo
looked this happy.
Adama watched his son hurry off to the bathroom and walked
back to sit down in front of Starbuck. “Serina was a
mistake you know,” he said quietly. “I realized that almost from the start. I
didn’t know why then, but I knew deep inside that he shouldn’t marry her.”
“Now I do know what was the matter, Apollo didn’t love Serina, he loved you. He still does.” Starbuck’s hand
twitched every time Adama said Serina’s name. Adama
patted the hand reassuringly. “We need you to come back now Starbuck. Apollo
needs you.”
Adama sat and waited with Starbuck.
One centon everything was fine and the next Starbuck was
keening in a low voice and twisting his body around in the chair. Adama was at
a loss as to what he should do, because he had never witnessed one of
Starbuck’s nightmares before. He called out for Apollo and tried to comfort the
upset young man. The commander tried patting Starbuck on the arm and talking to
him, but nothing helped. If anything this only made Starbuck worse.
By the time Apollo came running in, Starbuck was fast
approaching hysteria and Adama was doing little better. Apollo took his lover
into his arms and began rocking him back and forth crooning to him. Slowly
Starbuck calmed down and as he did, so did Adama.
Apollo looked up to see tears in his father’s eyes. “Is it
always like this,” Adama questioned. Apollo just nodded his head and held his
lover. “How often does he do this?”
“Four or five times a day.” At Adama’s
horrified look Apollo hastened to reassure him. “It is getting better, as soon
as last secton they were happening at least seven or eight times a day.”
Apollo stood up and pushed Starbuck’s hoverchair
towards the turboflush. As soon as they were out of sight Adama closed his eyes
and said a fervent prayer to all the Lord’s of Kobol
and any other gods he could think of. “Lords, please restore Starbuck. If you
don’t I’m very much afraid I’ll lose both of my sons,” the commander whispered
the words as he brushed the tears from his eyes.
******
“I have a surprise for you Bucko. You and I are going to
take a bath, a bubble bath, no less. Can you beat that? A real honest to
goodness *water* bath.” Apollo was slowly but surely removing Starbuck’s
clothes as he talked to him. Going slowly, because he didn’t want to startle
Starbuck, Apollo took off the clothes from the
“Hey you know what?” Naturally there was silence to this
question, but that didn’t phase Apollo one bit. “I think we ought to keep these
clothes even after you’re better.” Not if, when. That’s right, when. “I like
being able to get to you quicker, it leaves longer for the fun stuff, huh.”
Still no response.
Apollo quickly stripped off his own clothes, picked up
Starbuck and gently lowered him into the warm, bubbling water. Before Starbuck
could fall over, Apollo stepped into the tub and sat down behind him with his
legs sprawled. Apollo wrapped his arms around his lover’s waist and gently
pulled him back until Starbuck was leaning back against him. Starbuck sighed
contentedly. Apollo did the same.
The two lovers sat for a while, reveling in the luxury of
the warm water. In these times water was a precious commodity and most people
primarily took sonic showers. It was only because of Adama’s
high standing that he even had a tub.
Apollo took some shampoo in his hand and began to wash his
lover’s hair. Starbuck smiled with his eyes closed and arched his neck back as
he unconsciously enjoyed the attention. All too soon it was finished, as was
the other washing Apollo did.
Before long Apollo noticed that Starbuck had fallen asleep.
Apollo was thrilled to see that his plan had worked. He knew that if he could
just get Starbuck to relax that he would rest better. Apollo was surprised when
after just a few centons
Starbuck turned his body sideways until he was curled up
against Apollo’s chest. This was the first time he had voluntarily moved around
since he had been stricken, other than during his nightmares.
Starbuck burrowed his head around for a few microns until
his ear was over Apollo’s heart. Comforted by this rhythmatic
lullaby Starbuck slid deeper into sleep.
******
I like this place ‘Pol. It’s so
warm and bright.
Can we stay here forever?
******
Eventually Adama’s worries led him
to tap lightly at the turboflush door. Hearing a faint murmur of assent he went
in. The sight before him was stunning. His son was sitting in the tub, naked,
with Starbuck, also naked, surrounded by bubbles and they were cuddling.
It was one of the most beautiful sights the commander had
ever seen.
“I take it your plan worked,” Adama said whisper quiet.
Apollo just nodded. “Has he been asleep all this time?” Again Apollo just
nodded. It was obvious to Adama that Apollo was afraid of waking Starbuck up by
talking. “That’s wonderful. Did you know the two of you have been in here for
almost 3 centars?” Apollo’s arched eyebrow indicated his surprise. “You’re
going to stay in here until he wakes up aren’t you.” Another nod. “I thought
so. Do you need the water heated up or the temperature raised in here.” Apollo
shook his head no and Adama left saying, “if you need any help just call.”
******
Apollo sat bemusedly in the tub. My father just saw me naked
in the tub with my lover and it didn’t bother me. Just a few sectons ago the
thought of anyone, let alone his father, knowing about him and Starbuck would
have terrified him. Now he could care less.
The irony was not lost on Apollo that if he had just
acknowledged Starbuck earlier, none of this mess would have happened. Certainly
Starbuck would have gotten sick from the blue juice, but he wouldn’t have been
so despondent and sunk deep down into himself.
“I love you Starbuck.”
******
“I love you Starbuck.”
Starbuck turned from watching his friends on the beach, “did
you say something ‘Pol?”
The Apollo in front of him just smiled. Starbuck smiled in
return and went back to looking at the lovely day.
******
It was about another centar before
Starbuck began to stir. Apollo stood up, not an easy task considering how long
he had been sitting, and picked Starbuck up. Placing his lover on a towel he
had laid on the chair earlier, Apollo dried Starbuck off and dressed him. He
then quickly dressed himself.
Apollo was grinning when he saw his father. “Almost 4
centars, he slept most of the time for 4 centars. That’s the longest he’s slept
in sectons.”
“Well he certainly looks rested. I’m glad to see that your
plan worked.”
“Thank you father. Now, I had better get us back to our
rooms. Maybe he can sleep some more.”
With that Apollo took a still sleepy Starbuck back to their,
yes *their* rooms. Luckily it was an off time and therefore they didn’t meet up
with any of their friends who might upset Starbuck with their enthusiasm.
Apollo laid Starbuck on the bed, propping him up with some
pillows. He caressed Starbuck’s face with his hand and then went to the kitchen
to get something to drink, for both of them. He was determined to try again to
get Starbuck to drink something.
He didn’t see Starbuck start to frown.
******
Starbuck felt Apollo touch his face and sighed happily.
Smiling he turned to Apollo and reached out to put his hand on his lover’s
face.
And touched nothing.
His hand went right through Apollo.
Starbuck gasped in horror and jumped up, knocking over his
chair. “Apollo?”
******
Starbuck gasped and began to whimper.
******
“APOLLO?!” Again his hand went through the smiling Apollo.
It got very quiet. Apprehensively Starbuck looked towards
the beach and found it empty. All his friends were gone. Then it got dark,
everywhere except the small oasis of light surrounding him and Apollo.
Reaching out in terror, Starbuck again tried to touch his
lover, only to have Apollo disappear too.
In his head, Starbuck started screaming.
******
Apollo heard Starbuck hollering and ran back into the
bedroom, dropping the glasses on the kitchen floor.
Starbuck was sitting straight up in the bed, holding his
head in both hands and screaming hysterically. Apollo immediately crushed his
lover to his chest and began trying to calm him down.
“Star, baby, it’s all right. I’m right here. Shhh….shhhh…it’s all right.
Please come back to me. I need you. I love you.”
Starbuck gasped.
******
Oh lords what’s going on. Where am I? Where’s Apollo? Why is
it so dark in here? Please somebody help me.
“Please come back to me. I need you. I love you.”
Apollo?
******
Apollo heard Starbuck gasp and felt him stiffen when he
declared his love. So he did it again and again and again. And you know what
they say, ‘the third time’s the charm’.
‘Pol?
Now it was Apollo’s turn to gasp. He pulled back and looked
into Starbuck’s eyes. His wonderful *seeing* eyes.
“STARBUCK? Oh lords, Starbuck, baby, do you see me?”
Starbuck looked bewildered, dazed and very scared. “Apollo
are you real?” Shaking, Starbuck extended a trembling hand and carefully
touched Apollo’s cheek. When he actually touched Apollo’s face, Starbuck burst
into tears.
Apollo grabbed Starbuck’s face in both hands and began
kissing the tears away. “I love you. I love you. Oh lords how much I love you.”
This mantra broke through to Starbuck who looked happily at
his lover and said “you do?”
Chapter 8
Starbuck was dreaming. He just knew it. That was the only
thing that made sense. Apollo had just told him that he loved him. HIM.
Starbuck. This all being a dream was the only explanation that made sense. No
one loved *him*.
Did they? Could they? Did he?
******
Apollo held his lover and whispered the magic words over and
over again. “I love you Starbuck.”
Starbuck held onto the front of Apollo’s shirt like a
lifeline as he listened to Apollo profess his love. Overcome by emotions and
total exhaustion, Starbuck slumped against Apollo’s chest, his forehead resting
on Apollo’s collarbone. Starbuck lay like that, his breathing ragged, for a
little while.
Lord’s he was tired. And sore. What had happened? Starbuck
could remember being alone and scared, but nothing else.
Sitting as they were was awkward and so eventually Apollo
tried to lean Starbuck back against the pillows. Starbuck tightened his grip on
the front of Apollo’s shirt desperately. Apollo immediately began reassuring
his lover. “It’s okay Star, I’m not going anywhere. I just wanted to get you
more comfortable.”
Starbuck didn’t answer. He just kept looking Apollo over like
he couldn’t believe he was real. After the last three sectons of silence Apollo
didn’t like it when Starbuck wouldn’t talk. Apollo started to get worried.
Oh please let him stay, don’t have him slip away again.
“Starbuck, are you okay? Talk to me baby.”
“Apollo, is this real? Are you really here with me?”
“Yes baby, I’m really here and everything is going to be
fine.”
Starbuck was confused. Apollo was being so solicitous of
him. That was definitely a change, for the better. Lately Apollo had been so
standoffish, even when they were alone. “What happened ‘Pol?”
Apollo quickly related what had happened with the blue juice
and how Starbuck had reacted. He omitted mentioning the scene with
Starbuck was aghast. “I’ve been out of it for 3 sectons.”
Starbuck smiled in an attempt at nonchalance. “Just tell me I didn’t drool or
anything.”
Apollo wasn’t fooled. Starbuck looked really worried and he
still had a death grip on the front of Apollo’s shirt. “Don’t worry Star, you
didn’t drool. You didn’t do anything embarrassing.”
Reassured, Starbuck relaxed back against the pillows a
little more. He seemed calmer, but his eyes never left Apollo’s face. Likewise,
Apollo couldn’t stop looking into Starbuck’s eyes. It was too wonderful to see
*Starbuck* looking back from Starbuck’s eyes.
“Damn,” Apollo frowned.
“What’s wrong?”
“I need to let the others know you’re doing better.”
“Okay…so what’s the problem.”
“I need to go to the comm panel.”
Both men turned to look at the doorway. Through it the comm
panel could be seen on the wall in the next room. “Hang on a centon and I’ll
put you back in your chair.”
“*My* chair.” Starbuck looked at the hoverchair
sitting by the bed. “Oh.” Starbuck swallowed hard, realizing that he had
probably been riding around in that for three sectons.
Slightly embarrassed, Starbuck looked back at the door. “You
don’t need to do that. I’ll be all right here on the bed.”
“Are you sure?” Apollo didn’t look convinced and considering
what had happened the last time he had left Starbuck alone Apollo felt more
than justified. “It’s no problem.”
“Really ‘Pol, I’ll be fine. We’ll
even be able to see each other while you’re on the comm. Go on ahead.”
Starbuck’s voice was calm, but he still had a strong hold on Apollo. Realizing
this Starbuck let go and made shooing motions with his hands.
Mildly reassured, Apollo walked over to the comm system. He made sure Starbuck could see him, and
incidentally he could see Starbuck, all the time.
The first call he made was to the
Apollo’s next call was to his father. Even in the next room
Starbuck could hear Boxey laughing through the comm. He and Apollo shared a
grin. Adama told Apollo that he and Boxey were on their way.
“Bachelors Officer Quarters.”
“This is Captain Apollo, I need to speak to…”
“BOOMER, come quick, Apollo’s on the comm.”
Breathlessly Boomer answered the comm. “Apollo, what’s
wrong?”
“Boom…he woke up.”
Complete and utter silence…for two microns. The whooping and
hollering that could then be heard through the comm
was deafening.
Starbuck felt himself tearing up. To think, there were that
many people who cared about *him*. Apollo was smiling and had tears in his eyes
as well.
Apollo started back into the bedroom and then stopped.
Frowning he looked back into the living room. “What’s wrong ‘Pol?”
“I need to unlock the door and I don’t like the idea of…”
Starbuck interrupted, “Just go ahead, I’ll be fine. I did
okay when you were on the comm, didn’t I.”
“You sure did. Okay baby, I’ll be right back.” Apollo turned
around and went into the living room.
Starbuck was mildly shocked. Did he just call me *baby*?
I love it.
Everything was fine until Starbuck lost sight of Apollo.
Immediately he felt his chest tighten up and it became hard to breathe. This is
ridiculous. I know Apollo’s in the next room, I can hear him. Whimper.
Apollo hurried as fast as he could to unlock the door,
talking to Starbuck the whole time. “Star, are you okay?”
“Uh huh.”
Apollo heard what Starbuck wasn’t saying and raced back into
the bedroom. His lover was sitting bolt upright in the bed, his eyes were wide
with barely controlled panic and he was about to hyperventilate. Apollo landed
on the bed beside him and Starbuck quickly latched back onto his shirt. Apollo
put one hand on Starbuck’s and wrapped the other around the back of his neck.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“Star, what do you have to be sorry about?”
“I’m sorry I’m acting so silly. I know you were in the next
room, but when I couldn’t see you I got s-s-s-scared.” Apollo held his lover
even closer and reassured him.
“It’s okay baby. After all you’ve been through, of course
you’re going to be shaky.” Starbuck calmed back down enough to lean back again.
Apollo maneuvered around until they were holding hands. “Next time, you come
with me.”
“Sounds good to me.” Starbuck grinned at his lover. It was a
tremulous grin, but in Apollo’s eyes it still lit up the room.
“STARBUCK STARBUCK STARBUCK.” Boxey’s shriek was
heard half-way down the corridor. Boxey came streaking into the bedroom. He
jumped up on the bed, pushing his father to one side, and grabbed Starbuck
around the neck in a hug.
Laughing Starbuck wrapped his free hand around Boxey’s back. He looked up to see Adama standing in the
doorway with tears in his eyes.
Tears. The commander’s crying. For me?
“Uncle Starbuck, you’re back! I’m so glad you’re back. I’ve
missed you. Dad’s missed you. Everybody’s missed you.”
Before Starbuck could say anything Dr. Salik came hurrying
in. He smiled at the assembled group. “Got here before me, hmm.” Apollo
motioned for his son to let the doctor come closer. Boxey hopped down and went
to stand by his grandfather. The bedroom was starting to become crowded.
“Well Lieutenant I’m glad to see you have finally come
around. You have certainly kept us jumping.” The normally gruff doctor smiled
to show that he wasn’t serious.
Starbuck realized he was still holding hands with Apollo. He
unobtrusively pulled his hand away. It was one of the hardest things Starbuck
had ever done. Even that small degree of separation was frightening.
Apollo frowned and picked up Starbuck’s hand. He
deliberately reconnected their hands.
Starbuck stared at Apollo in amazement. He didn’t know what
to say or do and wasn’t really listening to the doctor.
The doctor! And Boxey…and THE COMMANDER!
Apollo is holding my hand in front of his family………….and
they don’t seem to care. On the contrary, they look happy.
“Bucko. Welcome back.” Boomer’s greeting wasn’t as loud as Boxey’s had been, but it was just as enthusiastic. Boomer
had to stand in the doorway because the bedroom wouldn’t hold any more people.
“I convinced the rest of the guys to wait a few days before coming over,
otherwise the whole front room would be filled up.”
Boomer looked at his friend for a couple of centons. They all listened to the doctor questioning
Starbuck on how he felt.
“Okay I guess. I’m tired though and achy.”
“I’m not surprised. Considering the workout you’ve given
your body for the last 3 sectons your muscles will undoubtedly be sore for a
few days. A little rest and you should feel fine. Rest and some food. I want
you to try and eat something before you go to bed tonight. I’ll keep the VacTube on you until you are able to eat normally.” Turning
to Apollo, Salik continued, “Nothing very heavy at first. I would recommend
trying a little pudding.” After Apollo nodded Salik got up to leave. “After
all, you haven’t eaten anything for 3 sectons.”
“That’s not true,” Boxey spoke up after the doctor had left.
“You and me ate just the other day.”
Starbuck thought for a moment. “Did you give me a cookie?”
Boxey smiled and nodded. “I remember something else. Something about a viper.
Oh yeah, hey kiddo don’t I have a picture you drew for me?”
Boxey jumped up and ran into the living room. Before any of
the adults could blink an eye he was back with the aforementioned picture. In a
gush of air Boxey pointed out all of the details of the picture to Starbuck.
“Boxey why don’t you put Starbuck’s picture on the dresser.”
Boxey obediently placed the drawing on the dresser. Starbuck
flinched. He really didn’t want to see it displayed among Serina’s
things. Bracing himself, Starbuck looked at the picture. He glanced away before
agreeing with Boxey that it looked really nice there.
Then he looked back.
The dresser was bare. Except for *his* drawing.
Starbuck looked over at the bedside table. The pictures were
gone! In their place was the ornamental box he had given Apollo on his last
birthday. Starbuck looked all around the room.
Serina was gone.
Wordlessly Starbuck looked at Apollo who got up and opened
the closet door. Inside were Apollo’s clothes and next to them were his.
“I’m so sorry Star.” Apollo got down on his knee’s beside
the bed. Retaking Starbuck’s hand in his he continued, “I never thought about
what I was doing to you. I didn’t pay attention and I hurt you. The last thing
I ever wanted to do was hurt you. Please forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive you for Apollo.”
“Yes there is, I brought you here, among her things to make
love. I made you sneak out in the middle of the night and I never told you I
love you. Please stay here with me and Boxey. Let this be our home, together.”
Starbuck just smiled and nodded. Apollo sighed in relief.
From the doorway there was clapping. Both men looked over.
Boomer, Adama and Boxey were all clapping. “See ya later,” Boomer said as he
turned and left.
Boomer walked out the front door and said, “He’s really
awake and they’re moving in together.” The large crowd that lined the corridor cheered.
Jolly turned to Boomer and said, “Well it certainly took them long enough.”
The group of friends went off to celebrate Starbuck’s
recovery.
******
Inside the bedroom Adama simply stated, “Well done son,” and
he went out into the living room. All that was left was Boxey. The young boy
walked over to the stunned couple.
“Dad, I’m glad you’re better now. I know how sad you were
when Mom died. But at least you’ve finally put her stuff up. Now maybe Uncle
Starbuck can stay all night long.”
Apollo sputtered and Starbuck sat there with his mouth open.
The young man started in towards the living room where his grandfather was
waiting to take him back to his rooms for the night. “B-b-boxey,
what do you mean? How did you know?”
Boxey turned back to his father and rolled his eyes. “Jeez
Dad, I’m 8, not stupid.” With that Boxey walked out of the room.
Chapter 9
One Sectar Later
Starbuck, Apollo and Boomer were sitting at a table in the
Officer’s Club. They had planned on going to the Rising Star but decided to
wait for one more secton. Starbuck was still too weak from his ordeal to do
much in the way of partying.
Apollo tempted his lover with some mushies.
He knew how much Starbuck liked them and he was still way too thin. It had
taken over a secton before Salik had removed the VacTube,
because Starbuck hadn’t been able to eat very much. He still didn’t eat nearly
as much as he did *before*.
Starbuck ate some of the mushies,
more really than he wanted to, just to please Apollo. He so hated seeing everyone
worry.
Starbuck tried to hide his trembling hand. He wasn’t scared
or upset, far from it. The shaking was a side affect of the blue juice toxins
and the catatonia. Dr. Salik had told him that the symptoms would get better
but probably never go away completely.
He was never going to fly a viper again. If you had asked
Starbuck before this mess all happened he would have told you that not flying
would be the worst thing that could ever happen to him. For some reason it
didn’t bother him. That reason was sitting right beside him, trying to get him
to eat more. With Apollo beside him he always felt like he was flying.
Adama had talked to Starbuck about being a teacher. He would
teach young, eager cadets how to fly. Starbuck had decided he liked that idea
and planned on taking the commander up on his offer.
Starbuck nibbled on a mushie,
looked around the room at *all* of his friends and was happy.
******
Apollo decided he had better get Starbuck something more
nutritious to eat. He needed to get his strength back and while eating sweets
might help him gain weight it wasn’t necessarily good for him.
He knew he was a little obsessive about Starbuck, but Apollo
couldn’t help it. Starbuck had been so sick, sicker even than most people
realized. After having four seizures, three of them massive ones and losing 20
lbs., Starbuck’s health was still precarious.
Apollo realized that Boomer had followed him to the bar. He
glanced over at Starbuck. He was alone at the table. Starbuck seemed to be
doing fine and so Apollo dawdled, trying to give his lover a little breathing
space.
******
Starbuck sat and stared. Mesmerized by the sight coming
towards him.
“Starbuck can I talk to you for a centon.”
“Uh yeah.” Starbuck finally drug his eyes away from her
hair. Purple?
“I want to apologize for the way I acted at Commander Adama’s party. You know, the one you collapsed at. I don’t
know what came over me. I said some pretty horrible things. I’m sorry I called
you a ‘whore’ and I am definitely sorry for telling you that you would ‘never
keep Apollo’. Saying those things to you was unconscionable.”
Starbuck looked up at
“Nice one though. Were you hoping you could shock me back
into a stupor.” Starbuck rolled his eyes and laughed quietly. “Puh-lease.” Starbuck deliberately looked away. “It was nice
seeing you
******
Apollo and Boomer watched the confrontation from across the
room. Boomer had a firm grip on Apollo’s arm. “Let’s see how he reacts.” Boomer cut into Apollo’s protest. “You can’t
protect him for forever.”
They watched
******
Starbuck smiled at his lover and Boomer. “Please tell me
it’s not true.”
Both men looked apprehensive. “Tell you what’s not true,
baby.”
“Tell me that vacuous tramp really wasn’t the reason I
snapped.” Starbuck’s voice was just loud enough, in the continuing quiet, that
everybody heard him. The silence continued until Starbuck grinned. Laughter
echoed around the room as people realized; a) Starbuck was all right and b)
they didn’t have to kill
A couple of the people in the crowd got drunk in
disappointment.
Apollo slid an arm around his lover and gave him a gentle
squeeze. Boomer pulled out a deck of cards and motioned Jolly and Greenbean over. The friends played a game of Pyramid for a
while and things were back to normal. Only better.