Happily Ever After

by Kerensa

 

 

Rating: FRAO:MV,MP,SLEX

Pairings: Strife/Cupid, Ares/Joxer

Disclaimers: I don’t own them, not at all!


 

Strife flashed into Ares’ temple apprehensively. He was answering a summons from his uncle, at least that’s what he thought, and was wondering what he had done wrong this time.

 

“Strife run!” Thud.

 

Strife looked over and saw Ares lying on the floor, wrapped in chains. Before he could react, a similar set of chains were looped tightly around his chest. He struggled briefly before realizing his powers were useless; Ares’ warning had come too late to help. A hard thump to his back knocked the young god to the ground.

 

“They’re Hephestian.” Ares said grimly.

 

“Yeah, I kinda figured.” Strife squirmed around until he was sitting up. “What’s happenin?”

 

“Zeus.” Ares spit the name out like a mouthful of poison.

 

Strife shivered at the news. “Not good.” Zeus hated Ares and Strife with a passion stronger than his passion for sex.

 

“No, it’s not.”

 

“Silence!” Zeus’ bellow startled Strife who jumped and scrambled around. He didn’t like having Zeus standing at his unprotected back.

 

Zeus raised his hands in the air and yelled. “Gods, attend!”

 

The summons went out over Olympus. A multitude of flashes lit up the room as any god within calling distance arrived. There was a great deal of confusion when the various deities saw the two gods in chains.

 

“Now you will answer for your crimes.”

 

Strife flicked a glance over at his uncle in confusion. “What crimes?”

 

“I said SILENCE!” With that Zeus backhanded Strife, knocking him into Ares.

 

Everyone was stunned, not only at the violence, but also at the fact that Zeus had struck Strife himself.

 

Zeus straightened himself and attempted to look regal. “You *two* have much to answer for.” Turning, Zeus addressed his audience. “They caused the war in Theolosia.”

 

There were several shocked gasps. That conflict, although short, had been brutal. It was considered to be one of the most violent and useless wars since the Trojan War.

 

“Now wait a minute…” Whatever else Ares had been going to say was lost when Zeus hit Strife again.

 

Zeus looked at his son, who remained quiet. Ares understood now. They weren’t going to be allowed to defend themselves and any attempt to do so would only cause Strife more pain.

 

With a self satisfied smirk, Zeus turned back to the crowd and began to lay out his case. “That war caused the crop lands in that region to become barren.” Demeter, Goddess of the Earth and the Seasons, looked troubled at this news.

 

“Famine and plague decimated the population.” Hades looked disinterested; he knew how much more work that war had caused.

 

“The dead bodies caused pestilence and disease.” Apollo and Asclepius exchanged puzzled glances. What was Zeus getting at?

 

“Several temples were damaged.” Several people craned their necks, looking for Aphrodite. One of her main temples had been all but destroyed.

 

However, Dite and Cupid weren’t there. They were attending a wedding that was uniting two powerful kingdoms. The mother and son had worked hard to achieve this union and wanted to make sure everything went off without a hitch.

 

Gesturing extravagantly, Zeus appealed to the gathered deities. “Because they have caused problems for so many of their fellow gods, their punishment is clear.”

 

Zeus spun around. “Ares, God of War and Strife, God of Mischief, you will be gods no more.”

 

Unc?” Strife sounded much younger than his 300 years.

 

“What?!” Hephaestus jumped up to object.

 

Fire shot from Zeus’ hands to the bound gods and enveloped them. Strife screamed as his godhood was ripped from him, before collapsing on his side. Ares screamed as well, but managed to stay upright.

 

“Gaia!” Apollo called for the Goddess of the Earth. She alone had enough power to stand up to Zeus.

 

“You will live the rest of your lives as mortals.” Speaking quietly, Zeus added, “Let’s see how long the former God of War and the former God of Mischief survive when word gets out.

 

Zeus laughed at his son and grandson. “How about if I find someone to help you, hmmm. Hercules would just love to get hold of both of you and I’m sure Xena and her little tag-along are just *dying* to see you again.”

 

With that final pronouncement, Zeus flashed the two former gods away.

 

xoxoxoxo

 

Strife fell to the ground and then grunted when Ares landed on top of him. Ares immediately rolled off his much smaller nephew. Before the two men could even catch their breath, they were attacked.

 

Ares drew his sword and waited. Strife saw a sword lying on the ground and picked it up. The design was similar to Ares’ sword, so Strife figured that Hephaestus had sent it for protection.

 

The two men stood back to back, in their normal fighting stance and looked at the warlords surrounding them.

 

They fought valiantly for several minutes and were actually making headway in fighting off the overwhelming odds, when disaster struck. Ares raised his sword to strike the man who was about to stab Strife in the back and suddenly found himself falling.

 

Strife looked over when he saw his uncle go down and was horrified to see a sword sticking out of his abdomen. Blood dripped down Ares’ back where the sword had been shoved through him.

 

Nooooo.”

 

xoxoxo

 

Joxer stumbled over a root that he knew hadn’t been there a moment earlier. Iolaus caught Joxer’s arm and kept the young man from falling.

 

“Thanks.” Joxer smiled brightly at Iolaus.

 

The young hunter smiled back at his friend. “No problem.”

 

Joxer looked around at his friends and smiled at what he saw. Xena was walking beside Argo, slightly ahead of Hercules and Gabrielle, who were talking about farming of all things.

 

The young warrior sighed contentedly. Life was good. He had friends beside him, a full belly and it was peaceful. Of course, he didn’t expect the later to last for long. When you traveled with Hercules and Xena things were rarely peaceful for long, especially when you were heading towards one of Zeus’ temples.

 

Joxer sighed and looked over at his friends. He really didn’t want to be involved in a confrontation with the King of the Gods. Hercules could get away with it because he was Zeus’ son. Xena might get away with it because of her warrior status and well, because she was beautiful. Zeus had been known to overlook bad behavior because of a pretty face. That might save Gabrielle too. Sliding a sideways look, Joxer figured Iolaus would fall under the same category. Zeus wasn’t too picky about gender when sex was involved.

 

‘That just leaves me.’ Joxer thought about the last time he’d seen his reflection. ‘I’m dead.’

 

As they rounded the corner, the clanging sound of metal striking on metal could be heard. As if a string yanked them, the heroes rushed forward all at once. Running up a short incline, the approaching rescue party was like a thundering herd of rampaging minotaurs. They crested the top of the hill and looked into the valley below.

 

They could see a tall, thin man standing over a fallen comrade. Against overwhelming odds, he was attempting to fight off a large group of warriors. Despite his best efforts, it was apparent the young man didn’t have long to live. Even as they watched, he was stabbed in the shoulder and leg.

 

The heroes swarmed into the valley. Xena’s signature yodeling yell startled the attackers and they turned to see what was happening, allowing the man to get back to his feet. Even severely wounded he was determined to protect his wounded compatriot.

 

Joxer ignored the attackers as best he could; his friends would stop them. He was more interested in getting to the two injured men and helping them. The man still standing looked familiar. He looked like…Strife?

 

Joxer sucked in a horrified breath and looked at the man lying death-like on the ground. Noooooo.” It *was* Ares.

 

The young man gave out a mighty roar that startled even his friends. This brought the attention of several attackers directly onto him. Joxer snarled and swung his badly made sword in a wide arch. Two men were knocked out of the way as he slashed across their chests.

 

‘Have to get to Ares. Have to save Ares and save Strife.’ Joxer’s mind emptied of everything save that thought and the need to clear a path to the injured men. Joxer kept hacking and slashing and was soon standing beside Strife. He joined the young god in standing over Ares’ prone figure. The two pale, skinny young men successfully defended themselves and the man at their feet.

 

In a matter of minutes the battlefield that used to be a quiet valley, was free of attackers. Live ones that is.

 

Joxer immediately dropped to his knees beside his god and pressed down on the wound. Ares cried out in pain, startling Hercules who had never seen his brother admit he was hurt before.

 

“I’m sorry.” Ares moved his head slightly in acknowledgement of the apology. “I don’t understand why this isn’t healing.” Joxer slid another hand under the moaning man and pressed as hard as he could against the exit wound.

 

Joxer turned swiftly to Strife. The young man was paler than ever; the slash on his shoulder and the leg wound were bleeding freely, as were several other less life-threatening punctures. Gabrielle rushed forward and tried to staunch the blood flowing from Strife’s injuries.

 

“We’re mortal now.”

 

“What?” Hercules looked upset at the news. “What happened?”

 

Strife explained about the hoax of a trial and the outcome. Joxer was terrified, Ares’ wounds were certainly fatal and the way Strife was bleeding, his probably were too.

 

Joxer was frightened to death and trying not to show it. Naturally, Joxer’s expressive eyes showed every bit of his emotions. ‘I can’t let them die. I just can’t.’ The problem was Joxer didn’t know of anything else they could do.

 

“Maybe if we bind the wounds tightly…” Joxer was grasping at straws, especially where Ares was concerned. His friends could see this and Gabrielle tried to help.

 

“Right. Good idea. I’ll just go get some clean cloths from Argo’s saddlebag. With that Gabrielle ran back up the hill as fast as she could.

 

Ares raised one weak, trembling hand and laid it on Joxer’s arm. Too weak to talk he tried to convey his gratitude with his eyes.

 

Suddenly clouds began to gather overhead, the wind started whipping everyone’s hair around. As thunder began to rumble, Joxer pulled Strife to his side and crouched over Ares, while still trying to keep pressure on his wound.

 

Lightening erupted in a bright arc and out of that brilliance Gaia appeared. With one look she took in the bodies lying around, including the two still alive. The goddess raised her hands up in the air.

 

“I cannot abide *liars*.” She screamed out her invocation and her worry into the air. Looking towards the two fallen gods she made her pronouncement. “Until the truth is revealed, on earth you must remain. But mortal no longer will you be.”

 

Ares, who had been almost dead, gasped as he felt strength returning. Strife, who hadn’t been as close to death, just sighed.

 

Gaia nodded. She looked carefully at her relatives and decided to use the opportunity to help them. “Your godhoods will be restored when true love you do find. This love must be blessed by the Goddess of Love.” With a twinkle in her eyes Gaia left; more quietly than she had appeared.

 

xoxoxoxo

 

‘True love.’

 

Ares didn’t feel much hope. After all, he’d been searching for love for over 2,000 years and hadn’t found any yet. The closest he had ever come were the brief flings he had had. While nice, and producing various children to boot, they hadn’t been love by any stretch of the imagination.

 

‘Let alone true love.’

 

Ares frowned and resigned himself to not being a god anymore.

 

‘I wonder who will be God of War now?

 

xoxoxoxo

 

Strife was having similar misgivings.

 

‘Crap, I’m supposed ta find true love. I ain’t nevah even found fake love let alone tha real thing.’

 

Strife frowned as he looked at his handsome, muscled uncle. ‘If Unc hasn’t evah found love lookin like he does, what chance da I have?’

 

xoxoxoxo

 

“Well, at least you have a chance now.” Hercules looked over at Xena incredulously.

 

“Yes, I’m sure you two will, uh…find someone to love.” Gabrielle, who had arrived in time for the show, was less than encouraging.

 

Iolaus eyed the two gorgeous men and nodded enthusiastically. “Oh yeah!” Iolaus was uncomfortable with the looks people were giving him. “So…where are we going to take them?”

 

Ummm, good point. They can’t lie out here in the open. Even if they are immortal they’re still hurt.” They all looked at each other and tried to come up with a plan.

 

“Damn, the nearest town’s three days travel.” Iolaus indicated the road at the top of the hill. “Probably longer because we’ll have to carry them.”

 

Joxer cleared his throat and waited until he had their attention. “There’s a cave just on the other side of the valley. It’s big enough that we can all stay there and plenty clean.”

 

“Great!”

 

Hercules was stunned at Xena’s unquestioning acceptance of Joxer’s statement. He watched as she began to gather fallen tree limbs to make a couple of stretchers. That was another unintentional benefit from Gaia’s appearance; her storm had knocked several saplings down.

 

“What makes you so sure that there’s a cave there?” Hercules wasn’t as certain of Joxer’s sense of direction.

 

“I happen to know it’s there, because it’s my home.” Joxer looked up at the surprised faces. “What? You thought I just wandered around aimlessly whenever I’m not with you.”

 

Joxer walked over to some of the less bloody bodies and began ripping off any scraps of clean clothing he could use for bandages. The cloths Gabrielle had brought back were already soaked through with blood. Joxer missed the chagrined looks on his friend’s faces. They *had* thought he roamed around when he wasn’t traveling with him.

 

xoxoxoxo

 

Before long the little group was heading towards the aforementioned cave. Ares and Strife were thoroughly bandaged and lying on their hastily constructed liters. Luckily Ares passed out before the journey started, because the pain was bad enough without the rough traveling. Strife wasn’t so lucky and stayed conscious the whole journey.

 

It was an interesting procession. Hercules and Iolaus were carrying the unconscious Ares; Xena and Gabrielle were carrying the much smaller Strife. Joxer hovered between the two men, checking that the dressings were tight enough and offering comfort to the suffering Strife.

 

“I don’t understand something…” Iolaus adjusted his grip on his end of the stretcher. ‘Wow, Ares is sure heavy.’ He straightened up and kept going. “…how did those warlords find you so fast? I mean, according to Strife’s story, you two were *just* kicked out of Olympus.”

 

“Athena…” Strife moaned as he was jostled. “…it was probably Athena. She is jealous ah Unc and hates me.”

 

“Why would the Goddess of Wisdom hate you?” Gabrielle frowned at Strife’s pale features.

 

“She’s also tha Goddess ah War.” Strife spoke up quietly. Gabrielle nodded at his statement.

 

“Yeah and if I wasn’t around she’d be tha next in line ta head tha House ah War, in case somethin evah happened ta Unc.”

 

Xena’s foot slid on a rock and Strife’s cry of pain ended the discussion.

 

They were all glad when the short journey was over with. Everyone except Ares that is, who was still insensate. Joxer ran on ahead as soon as they could see the cave. By the time the others arrived Joxer had lit a torch with his flint and was emerging from the cave.

 

“All clear. I just wanted to make sure no animals had taken up residence while I’ve been gone.” Joxer visually checked his two charges. “The last time I came back, a family of wolves had tried to move in.”

 

“Wolves?”

 

“Yeah, but I carefully shooed them out and they left.” Before anyone could react to this surprising statement, Joxer continued. “Okay, let’s bring them in. You guys put Ares over here.” Joxer indicated a carefully smoothed area of dirt. “Please put Strife over there.” Another smooth area.

 

The heroes were surprised to find themselves obeying without question. This was a new side of Joxer, one they had never seen before. Stronger, more sure of himself and what he was doing.

 

Ares moaned as he was lowered to the ground. Joxer knelt beside him in a flash. “Try not to move around too much.” Joxer looked at the bloody bandages. “You’re still bleeding.”

 

Xena and Gabrielle started forward to take over the medical care. They were amazed when Joxer gently but firmly, pushed them out of the way and headed deeper into the cave. Almost immediately he was back with an armload of large bundles and a box.

 

The two women were about to question him when Joxer headed back the way he had come. In a couple of minutes he reemerged holding up two sticks that had cobwebs wound round them.

 

Joxer walked over to Strife and pulled a handful of the cobwebs off. Borrowing Strife’s own knife he carefully cut away the ex-god’s sleeve. The cobwebs were pressed very carefully over the wound. The same treatment was given to the stab wound on his leg.

 

“That’ll help stop the bleeding.” Gabrielle looked astonished. She had no idea Joxer knew so much about medicine.

 

Joxer moved over by Ares, sat down by his box and carefully wiped the dust off the top with the edge of his vest. Xena and Gabrielle crowded closer to see inside when he opened the box. Both were curious as to what Joxer would deem medical supplies.

 

They were surprised at the contents. There were needles, some straight and some curved, and the finest thread they had ever seen. Bottles of all shapes and sizes littered the bottom of the box. Lying on top of them were numerous bundles of dried herbs and leaves.

 

“There’s a stream around the other side of the cave.” There was a suspiciously lumpy bundle on the ground. Joxer moved a heavy cover and several bowls and pitchers were revealed underneath. Inspecting the inside of one, Joxer seemed satisfied that the cloth had kept them clean. He held up a pitcher without even looking up from his work. “Would somebody please go get some water?”

 

“Sure Joxer.” Glad for something to do, Iolaus grabbed the pitcher and headed towards the cave entrance.

 

Joxer reached into his box and pulled out two of the bundles of herbs. He crumbled a few leaves into a small bowl. Joxer fingered them a little and looked over at Ares’ large form appraisingly. After some thought, he added a few more leaves and then pulled a smooth stone from the box. He then proceeded to grind the leaves into a fine powder.

 

“How do you know how to do all this?” Gabrielle’s out flung arm indicated Joxer’s paraphernalia. She sounded a little put out; after all she was the healer/bard here.

 

“Well, I have to have some way to fix myself up.” Joxer ducked his head. “I do get hurt a lot.”

 

The friends all looked at each other sadly. It was true, Joxer followed them, trying to help and was injured more often than not. There had been many times he had left their company still hurt. No one had thought to wonder who took care of the young man when he was injured.

 

It seemed Ares and Strife would benefit from the numerous injuries Joxer had sustained over the years.

 

By the time Joxer was done with the herbs, Iolaus was back with the water. Joxer added water to the powder and began to reach for Ares.

 

“You need to drink this; it’ll dull the pain.” Joxer didn’t give Ares a chance to protest. Hercules hurried forward, slid an arm behind Ares’ back and helped raise him up. Ares drank the concoction, supported by Joxer and Hercules.

 

Joxer untied one of the bundles he had carried in earlier. Inside were bandages and clean cloths.

 

“Now Strife…”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Joxer jumped when he realized that Strife was sitting beside him. “You were supposed to stay lying down.” Joxer tried for a stern look and just couldn’t quite make it.

 

“Now Joxah, when have ya evah known me ta do like I was supposed ta?” Strife’s cheeky grin didn’t fool anybody. They could see his face scrunched up in pain.

 

Joxer harrumphed and held the bowl out for Strife to drink from. “Not too much now, you’re not nearly as big as Ares.”

 

Strife choked as he laughed. “Now is that an undahstatement ah what.”

 

xoxoxo

 

Ares opened his eyes when he heard Strife’s joke and saw Joxer blush a very faint shade of pink. Ares watched quietly as Joxer opened Ares’ vest and began to clean the blood from his chest.

 

The long, pale fingers wove their magic. His touch was gentle but sure. Joxer ran the cloth over Ares’ wound so delicately that there wasn’t much pain.

 

Ares closed his eyes and reveled in the comforting ministrations. He was almost lulled to sleep by the soothing touch.

 

“Ares.” The name was whispered. “I want you to chew on this leaf for me.”

 

Ares opened his mouth without opening his eyes, letting the young man place a leaf on his tongue. He trusted Joxer.

 

‘I trust him?’ Ares examined his heart and realized it was true. Joxer was a pure soul and would never willingly hurt anyone.

 

Ares chewed the leaf and his mouth felt tingly. “Ares let me have it back now.” Again, soothing and comforting. Ares drifted to sleep.

 

xoxoxo

 

Joxer swung into action as soon as Ares was out. The wound was already cleaned and ready. With one hand Joxer closed the gaping wound and with the other he took his threaded needle and began to sew him up.

 

Joxer’s concentration was broken when Iolaus settled down on the other side of Ares. Iolaus took over the job of holding the wound together.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“No problem.”

 

Joxer had Ares mostly stitched up when the former God of War moaned. Joxer quickly pulled out another leaf.

 

“Open for me.” Ares obeyed the gentle command unhesitatingly and chewed on the leaf.

 

Joxer waited patiently for the medicine to work. He noticed that Strife had fallen asleep leaning against the cave wall.

 

“He’s out like a torch light.” Xena took the opportunity to move the soiled cloths out of the way.

 

“Yeah, thank the gods. At least he’s not hurting this way.”

 

Joxer finished Ares’ abdomen as fast as he could. “Now, I’ve got to do his back.” The two men rolled Ares to his side. Joxer took Ares’ vest off and cleaned his back quickly but carefully. He made sure that Ares was still unconscious before he stitched up that wound as well.

 

xoxoxo

 

The next time Ares awoke it was to see Joxer working on Strife. The young mortal had just finished stitching up Strife’s shoulder wound. The wound on Strife’s leg was covered with a bandage.

 

“Why did Zeus do this?”

 

Hercules’ question distracted Ares from watching Joxer. The young man was busy cleaning and binding other smaller, but numerous, cuts and abrasions on his nephew’s body. Ares looked steadily at his half-brother.

 

“Because Zeus hates me and because Strife’s my son, Zeus hates him too.”

 

“Son?!” Gabrielle looked quickly from one god to the other. She eyed the two men, comparing their features. Were they about to find out who Strife’s real father was? Speculation had run rampant on Earth and on Olympus, for years.

 

“Yes, my son. My sister Eris gave Strife to me to raise and I adopted him.” Ares sighed sadly. “That almost destroyed her; giving up her baby like that.”

 

Strife listened from where Joxer was still working on him; his eyes wide and shocked.

 

“You see, Zeus threatened to kill Strife as soon as he was born. Eris knew her godhood wasn’t strong enough to protect her son, so she gave him to me.” Ares shook his head sadly. “As my son he was better protected.”

 

“Why did Zeus want him dead?” Iolaus passed more clean cloths to Joxer.

 

“I don’t know for certain. I’ve heard rumors about a prophecy, but who knows…” Ares yawned widely. “…there are more prophecies floating…around than there are stars.”

 

Ares drifted off to sleep, leaving a frustrated audience behind. Joxer smiled at Strife and wiped his face off with a wet cloth. Strife smiled appreciatively and went to sleep himself, still leaning against the cave wall.

 

Joxer kept cleaning and soothing.

 

xoxoxo

 

“I’m all right.”

 

Strife’s shaky voice roused Ares from his slumber. He looked at his nephew speculatively and wasn’t happy with what he saw.

 

“I know you are. However, you’re still going back to your pallet.” Joxer frowned as he considered his patient.

 

“He’ll be fine you know.” Ares doubted anyone else heard the quietly whispered statement. “Do you need anything?” Joxer gestured to the pain relieving leaves.

 

The former god watched Joxer wrap a blanket around his shivering nephew. He felt something…something foreign inside. He didn’t know what name to give it, but he liked the feeling.

 

“Nah, Joxah. I’m good, I don’t need anythin more fah tha pain.”

 

“Good.” Joxer smiled and nodded in agreement. “Now…get your pale, skinny butt over there and lay down.”

 

Strife giggled; it was nice having somebody looking after him. Ares was really the only one who ever cared enough to comfort him when he was hurt. He knew he could relax too. Joxer would look after Ares for him.

 

Joxer turned his searching look towards Ares. He frowned again when he realized Ares was awake as well and trying to sit up. Joxer placed one long hand on Ares’ chest and gently but firmly pushed him back down. “The same goes for you too. Just lay your…uh, self back down and rest.”

 

“I don’t think *his* butt’s all that pale or skinny, Joxah.”

 

“No kidding.” Joxer looked up in horror when he realized what he’d said. “Uh, I mean…” Blushing a bright red, Joxer began rearranging his bandages.

 

Strife giggled again as he staggered over to his pallet. Iolaus was there in an instant and kept the young immortal upright. Strife smiled his thanks as the hunter helped him lay down. “That oughta get their attention.” Strife muttered quietly but Ares and Joxer heard him all the same.

 

Joxer blushed even redder and looked everywhere but Ares. Ares looked from his still smirking nephew to Joxer. He looked the young man up and down consideringly. Ares noticed how tightly the young man’s leather pants pulled over his small but nice butt. He noticed how Joxer’s brown hair framed his handsome face. He noticed Joxer’s eyes, his hands, his…he noticed Joxer.

 

“Finally.” Strife muttered again and Ares looked over to see another smirk.

 

“Yes, finally.” Joxer didn’t turn around when Ares spoke, but he stopped doing busy-work.

 

xoxoxo

 

Joxer spent a long night wiping the sweat from Ares and Strife’s bodies.

 

The others endeavored to lend a hand as well, but Ares became agitated when anyone other than Joxer tried to help him. Strife did accept Iolaus’ help, in addition to Joxer’s, but no other.

 

Xena and Hercules did their best to keep the cave warm and water gathered from the nearby stream. Gabrielle kept Joxer supplied with whatever medical provisions he needed.

 

Eventually, everyone but Joxer went to bed. Joxer didn’t sleep much that night, but he didn’t mind. He hated the reason, but he was happy to be touching the god, well man now…actually, immortal now, that he loved.

 

xoxoxo

 

It was very early in the morning. The sun had just risen an hour before. Joxer had finally fallen asleep only a few minutes earlier. Exhaustion had won out over protectiveness where the young mortal was concerned.

 

There was a muted flash in one corner of the cave. Apollo walked over and stood beside his brother. The god looked from his brother to his nephew and waved his hands in the air. A brief glow arched over the two immortals and gently settled down to cover their bodies.

 

“Sorry I can’t do more.” Apollo whispered. “Zeus would pitch a fit and might hurt you some more.” Apollo looked like he wanted to say more, but just sighed sadly and flashed away.

 

Joxer opened his eyes and sat up. “Was that Apollo?”

 

Strife nodded yes to his friend and smiled. He was happy that more of the family was helping him and Ares.

 

Joxer laid back down and was asleep in seconds.

 

Xena came back into the cave, carrying a couple of rabbits she had caught for breakfast. The warrior sensed something; she could always tell when the gods were around. It was a trait that she shared with Hercules and, although she didn’t know it, Joxer.

 

However, there was no sign of a god now and so Xena had to let it go. Hopefully, if a god was visiting, it was a good sign and not a bad one.

 

xoxoxo

 

“Very good.” Joxer nodded happily as he looked under Ares’ bandages. “Yes, both you and Strife are healing nicely.”

 

Joxer was thrilled. The visit from Apollo had moved things along nicely. Wounds that had still been actively bleeding just a few hours before, were closing up.

 

“No fever either.” Joxer ran his hand across Ares’ forehead and indulgently, down the side of his face.

 

Ares didn’t seem to mind. Joxer could tell by the look in his eyes. His eyes…yipes, he was awake.

 

Joxer jerked his hand back like it was being burned. He couldn’t believe what he’d done. Yes, he loved Ares, he always had, but…Ares didn’t even notice him.

 

Strife watched the exchange, hoping something was happening here. Joxer had confessed his love to his friend a long time ago. Ares had never said anything, but Strife had noticed how his uncle’s eyes followed the young mortal every time they met up.

 

Strife smiled at his uncle and friend, causing both men to blush.

 

xoxoxo

 

Apollo came in the night again. His healing powers once again covered the injured men and this time it caught Joxer in its wake.

 

A wound on Joxer’s arm that had been bothering him for months healed in an instant. Joxer was so busy checking on the other two men’s progress that he didn’t even notice.

 

xoxoxo

 

Xena looked at the closed over, half-healed wounds and made a decision. “Good. You’re both well enough, we can continue on to Zeus’ temple.” The Warrior Princess turned to her friend. “Let’s go.”

 

Gabrielle sprang to her feet and began gathering up their bedrolls. Hercules started collecting his and Iolaus’ things together.

 

“What?” Joxer looked stunned at the abrupt turn of events. “It’s too soon…”

 

Xena ignored Joxer and walked out of the cave to load supplies onto her horse, Argo.

 

Joxer tried to reason with the other members of their little group but they didn’t listen any more than Xena had. All but Iolaus that is; he was just as disturbed as Joxer at the thought of the injured men traveling so soon.

 

However, it was quickly apparent that either they went with Xena and friends or were left behind. Joxer knew it was only a matter of time before more warlords came to challenge the two ex-gods. Without Xena and Hercules’ help they would be hurt again.

 

Cursing under his breath, in an amazingly descriptive and colorful language, Joxer collected as many supplies as he could carry and watched as Ares and Strife got ready to travel.

 

xoxoxo

 

Not surprisingly, Xena didn’t listen to Joxer when he tried to get her to slow down. The warrior traveled at a certain pace and she expected everyone to keep up.

 

Iolaus’ eyebrows disappeared into his hair as he heard Xena, Gabrielle and Hercules compared to many illegitimate and apparently sexually adaptable animals. He was impressed and silently added a few colorful phrases himself.

 

As the day wore on the two injured men moved slower and slower.

 

xoxoxo

 

Strife staggered again and would have fallen if Iolaus hadn’t caught his arm. The pale man turned paler and moaned slightly at the pain caused by his leg being jarred.

 

“That’s it!” The others heard Joxer’s exclamation and stopped in surprise. Iolaus nodded his head in agreement. “We’re stopping here for the night. We’ve got water…” He gestured to one side. Water could be heard. “We’ve got shelter…” The overhanging canopy of trees was pointed to. “…we’re staying.”

 

Xena placed her hands on her hips. “There are *several* more hours of daylight left.” The problem solved, Xena turned to continue on.

 

“I *don’t* care!” Xena spun around, stunned by Joxer’s continued, uncharacteristic, show of rebellion.

 

“We can keep going.” Xena’s eyes narrowed dangerously.

 

Joxer looked at his friend unflinchingly. “Maybe you can, but you weren’t stabbed day before yesterday.”

 

Joxer turned his back on the Warrior Princess and led Ares over to a large rock. “Why don’t you sit down here.Joxer smiled. “Please.”

 

Ares let himself be lowered onto the seat-like boulder. Strife smiled at his uncle’s easy capitulation, as Iolaus assisted him to sit beside Ares on the same rock.

 

Joxer squatted down and pulled several things from his pack. Xena didn’t know what to do; she wasn’t used to people countermanding her orders. Hercules stood to one side, completely ignored.

 

Iolaus touched Joxer on the shoulder. Strife smothered a giggle with his hand when Ares scowled at the hunter.

 

“What do you need Joxer?” Iolaus’ unspoken support had Xena frowning.

 

“Fresh water would be nice, thanks.” Joxer smiled brightly at Iolaus. Ares watched the exchange warily.

 

xoxoxo

 

Xena was flabbergasted. Joxer was being…willful. She glared at Iolaus as he followed the sound of water. She stared at Joxer as he gave the two injured men some more leaves to chew.

 

Strife was rubbing his hurt leg with both hands. It was easy to see that he was in a lot of pain. Ares was keeping a close eye on his nephew, while he was obviously trying not to grasp his wound. The former war god was holding himself very stiffly.

 

“Damn.” Xena cursed herself quietly. “I shouldn’t have pushed so much.”

 

“Yes, traveling would be hard on the ex-gods even if they weren’t hurt.” Gabrielle was talking quietly to Xena and Hercules. “Ares and Strife are used to flashing from one spot to the other; they probably don’t walk much at all.”

 

Ares rolled his eyes and looked at Strife who snickered. As the God of War, Ares had roamed battlefields from one end to the other for centuries. Strife, as God of Mischief and second in command to Ares did more walking every day than Gabrielle ever dreamed of.

 

Xena kept talking, not really hearing what her friend was saying. “Joxer was right. It was *way* too soon to move them. If it had been anybody other than Joxer suggesting it, I would have listened sooner.” Xena hung her head in shame. “Damn.”

 

Xena stalked off into the woods, muttering about getting firewood. Gabrielle and Hercules started clearing the area for a camp.

 

Joxer ignored them all and tended to his patients.

 

xoxoxo

 

Laying by the campfire that night Strife began to plan. ‘If Unc and Joxah are evah gonna get tagethah I’m gonna hafta push.’ Strife watched as Joxer got up, yet again, to check on Ares. ‘Maybe I won’t hafta push that hard.’

 

Strife closed his eyes and went to sleep, unaware that Iolaus was having similar thoughts. ‘I’ve got an idea.’ Iolaus rolled onto his side and saw Joxer inspecting Strife’s wound. ‘I’m just glad Ares isn’t a god now, maybe that’ll keep me from getting killed.’

 

xoxoxo

 

Early the next morning, Ares felt someone touching his side. He smiled to himself when he realized it was Joxer.

 

He watched as Joxer bent over to put a pan of water on to heat. Ares swallowed hard at the magnificent sight, then he frowned.

 

Iolaus walked up beside the young man and slipped an arm around his waist. “Do you need any help?”

 

Joxer smiled at his friend. “Sure, if you could stoke the fire, that’d be great.”

 

“No problem, I can stoke…the fire.”

 

Ares scowled. Was Iolaus making a play for Joxer? No, it was just his imagination.

 

Iolaus’ hand slid off Joxer’s waist and down his back, stopping just at the swell of his behind. Joxer stiffened and looked at his friend in surprise. Iolaus smiled as he slid to his knees beside Joxer, making sure to rub down the side of Joxer’s body as he did so.

 

Ares growled at the young hunter who was *innocently* tending the fire.

 

xoxoxo

 

Ashamed of her behavior the day before, Xena innocently aided the “get Joxer and Ares together” campaign by deciding they would stay put a couple of days.

 

“Why are we going to Zeus’ temple anyway?”

 

Iolaus smiled at Joxer and took the opportunity to lean closer. “I don’t know, they probably don’t know either.” He gestured to Xena and Hercules.

 

Joxer laughed slightly and tried to inch away.

 

Ares looked for a rock to throw at the hunter.

 

xoxoxo

 

Joxah, is Unc okay? It looked like he was hurtin a minute ago.” Strife smiled as Joxer rushed over to check on Ares.

 

‘I wasn’t lyin; he did wince when he sat down.’ Strife rationalized his sneaky behavior as Joxer continued to rub his hands up and down, even after he had determined that Ares was fine.

 

Joxer jerked away when he realized what he was doing. The bright light showed up every inch of Joxer’s blushing face.

 

Strife looked at Iolaus and the two men grinned.

 

xoxoxo

 

Joxer stumbled over a tuft of grass and again Iolaus caught him. Only this time, Iolaus wrapped his arms around Joxer, supposedly to hold him up and then he didn’t let go.

 

“Uh-uh t-thanks Iolaus.” Joxer stammered. Iolaus smiled seductively and continued to hold him.

 

“Are you alright Joxer?” Iolaus sounded so worried, like Joxer might really be hurt. Not like the young man had just tripped.

 

Joxer swallowed heavily. “I’m, uh, fine.”

 

Iolaus smiled and patted Joxer on the back. His hand slid down and he patted *way* down on Joxer’s back, before letting his stunned young friend go.

 

Ares started to get up. He was so mad he was steaming.

 

Iolaus walked away with an enticing wiggle to his butt. Even Joxer found himself looking at the young hunter, before shaking his head and going over to sit on his bedroll.

 

xoxoxo

 

Ares decided to take action. There was *no way* he was going to lose Joxer to Iolaus…or anybody. Joxer was his.

 

The former god followed Joxer. Joxer turned to face Ares, not knowing what was happening. Ares didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t sure if Joxer wanted him or not.

 

Joxer walked closer and gazed up at the man he loved, afraid Ares didn’t want him.

 

Joxer and Ares were standing by the lake. The moonlight cast its yellowish reflection on the water, turning it a soft golden color.

 

Ares took a trembling Joxer in his arms and gave the young man a light kiss. When Joxer didn’t object, Ares gave him a more thorough kiss; lightly running his hands up and down Joxer’s slender back.

 

Slowly the two men got down on their knees.

 

Ares gently took Joxer’s face in his hands. Ares was being careful; going slow. He didn’t want to scare the young man off. It was obvious that Joxer was nervous and considering how shy he usually was, Ares figured he was a little afraid.

 

Joxer…is this your first time?”

 

Joxer smiled his sweet, innocent smile and…lunged forward, grabbing Ares’ face in his hands. He proceeded to give Ares the most impressive, aggressive and thorough kiss of his life.

 

The former god’s mouth was thoroughly explored, while Joxer’s hands roamed everywhere he could reach on Ares’ body. He kissed along Ares’ jaw and latched onto his ear, sucking and licking on it. Joxer’s hands were everywhere and it was only after Ares’ vest was gone, that the former god realized he was lying on his back.

 

“So tell me baby, what do you think?” Joxer’s husky voice penetrated the haze of lust fogging Ares’ mind. With the tingling all over his body it took Ares a few seconds to figure out what Joxer was talking about. Ares groaned as Joxer leaned over and rubbed himself on Ares’ body.

 

“Somehow I don’t think you’re a virgin.”

 

The young man laughed. “Not *even* close.”

 

Joxer leaned back and a gasping Ares protested the abandonment with his eyes. Joxer grinned and quickly shed his clothes. Ares drank in the long, lean figure. He looked up to see Joxer licking his lips. Ares’ mind shut down at the lascivious sight.

 

Joxer tugged Ares up and before long the former god’s clothes were flying around and landing in the bushes. The slender young man pushed Ares back down onto the ground, being mindful of Ares’ healing body. He blanketed the bigger man with his body.

 

They both gasped as warm skin touched warm skin. It wasn’t long before they were both moaning and panting. Ares had long since given up his slow, careful movements. Joxer slid down Ares’ body; he sucked and licked his way across his lover’s chest.

 

“I love you.”

 

Joxer leaned back in shock. “What did you say?”

 

“I love you.” Ares looked steadily at his lover, waiting and hoping.

 

Joxer’s delighted smile was beautiful to behold. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you.”

 

Leaning back down, Joxer’s movements were less frantic and more certain. He knew now that this wasn’t going to be a one-time situation and he could make love to Ares, not just have sex.

 

xoxoxo

 

Ares writhed and arched under his skilled lover. Never before had *anyone* lavished this much attention on him. It was usually Ares who had to be the giver in bed.

 

The former god gasped when Joxer took his left wrist and began to suck on it. Who knew that was an erogenous zone!

 

Ares happily gave his right wrist up for the same treatment. He grabbed Joxer’s bottom and both men moaned at the sensation.

 

“Oil.”

 

“What?” Ares couldn’t make sense of what Joxer was saying and why had he let go of his wrist?

 

Joxer threw his head back and laughed carefreely as he straddled Ares’ hips. “We need some oil, baby.”

 

“Oh, yeah.” With that a small pot of oil appeared by Joxer’s knee.

 

The young man grabbed up the pot and slicked Ares’ fingers. He didn’t really see Ares as being the *receiving* partner. Besides, he wanted to feel Ares inside of him.

 

“Get me ready, baby.”

 

Joxer’s eyes were widely dilated and he was panting. Ares flipped them over so Joxer was the one lying on the ground.

 

He smiled and kissed Joxer all over, showing some of his own sexual prowess, as he prepared Joxer to make love.

 

xoxoxo

 

Joxer sat up with a gasp. “Oil!”

 

Startled, Ares woke up. “What, again?”

 

Ares surprised that Joxer was ready to have sex so soon. Quite frankly Ares was exhausted.

 

Joxer shook his head. “No, the oil. I asked you for oil and it appeared.” The young man waited for Ares to understand.

 

Now Ares gasped. He raised his hand and shot a fire bolt into a nearby tree. Ares laughed out loud. “I’m a god again.”

 

“Yeah.” Joxer felt a knot of tension leave his body. Ares was a god and therefore safe.

 

“I still love you.”

 

Joxer smiled at his lover. Ares still loved him even though he was a god again and could have his pick of gods and mortals alike.

 

“Me too, you.” They both laughed at Joxer’s mixed up declaration.

 

Ares realized he wasn’t quite as tired as he thought when Joxer’s talented hands found his butt and began to stroke it. They used the pot of oil again.

 

xoxoxo

 

“You and Ares?” Gabrielle’s voice ended on a squeak.

 

The two men had finally come back to the camp and wasted no time informing the others of their newfound relationship. Not that Strife or Iolaus needed to be told. One look at the lovers had given them away.

 

“That’s right.” Joxer was stating a fact. He hoped his friends would accept the situation, if not, then so be it.

 

Iolaus surged forward and grabbed both men around the waist. “Great, now I won’t have to pretend to come on to Joxer any more.” Iolaus smiled at Ares’ shocked expression. “Hey, I had to help Strife get you two together.”

 

Strife hugged Joxer and then turned to his uncle and hugged him fiercely. “It’s about time ya two got tagethah…Dad.” Strife blushed and Ares got teary eyed at the new name.

 

“Congratulations.” Hercules shook hands with his brother and his brother-in-law-to-be. “I hope you’ll be happy.”

 

Xena walked up to the new couple and looked them both in the eye. “You better not hurt him.”

 

“I won’t.”

 

Xena smiled as both Ares and Joxer answered her challenge.

 

Gabrielle still had her mouth hanging open. She slowly moved to stand in front of Joxer. Ares tensed up; afraid she was going to devastate Joxer by saying something hurtful.

 

“I’m so happy for you, both of you.” She smiled at their stunned expressions and pulled both taller men down and kissed them on the cheeks. “I hope you have a long and happy life together.”

 

xoxoxo

 

Ares felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. A long life. He hadn’t thought of that. He might have his godhood back, along with it’s eternal life, but Joxer was still a mortal. They would only have a few short years together!

 

The god clutched his lover to his side in terror. Joxer looked up at Ares and frowned, sensing something was wrong.

 

“Congratulations.” There was a flash and Gaia appeared.

 

“Thanks.” Ares’ reply was considerably more subdued than it had been a few minutes earlier.

 

Gaia smiled knowingly. “Don’t be frightened.” She smiled happily. “When I cast my immortality spell…Joxer was holding you both, sheltering you.”

 

Strife giggled as he understood.

 

“That’s right, Joxer was made immortal at the same time.”

 

Ares let out a relieved gasp. Joxer was stunned to realize he was never going to die.

 

“…and…” They all waited for the rest of the news. “…he was still there when I said true love would restore your godhoods.”

 

This time it was Iolaus who got it first. “Joxer’s a god!” He laughed and pulled Strife into a hug.

 

“That’s right.” Gaia smiled at the dumbfounded group. “Only time will tell what his godhood is though. So, I’ll leave you lovers alone for now.” Gaia disappeared in a flash.

 

xoxoxo

 

“I-I’m what?” Joxer sat down with a thump.

 

Ares slid down beside his fiancé. The others moved to the far side of the camp to give the men some privacy.

 

“You’re a god…” Ares kissed Joxer. “We’ll be together, forever.”

 

Joxer glowed at the realization that he and his lover would never be parted by death. He leaned into the kiss and soon the two men were entwined on the ground, happily celebrating.

 

xoxoxo

 

Gabrielle sighed, happy for her friend and even happy for the God of War. She had never liked Ares, but if he made Joxer happy she’d learn to love him.

 

The Amazon Princess lay down on her bedroll. She heard someone come up behind her and turned to look back.

 

“Do you mind?” Iolaus gestured to the bedroll.

 

Gabrielle smiled invitingly. “Not at all.”

 

Iolaus lay down behind her and after a few minutes snuggled up to Gabrielle’s back. The young woman scooted back and sighed in contentment when Iolaus wrapped an arm around her waist.

 

xoxoxo

 

Hercules and Xena were overcome by the feelings in the air and started kissing. Before long the former lovers decided to renew their relationship in a more physical manner.

 

Luckily they were far enough away from the fire and didn’t disturb everyone with their rather vocal celebrations.

 

xoxoxo

 

That only left one person.

 

Theah ain’t nothin like bein an extra chariot wheel.” Strife spoke quietly. He stood there an extra moment, watching and listening to the various couples, before turning away. The immortal followed the path around the back of the camp and stopped by the lake.

 

Strife sat down on the damp dirt and bowed his head. He was always going to be alone, it was his destiny. The young man put his head into his hands and began to sob in quiet despair.

 

xoxoxo

 

Zeus gloatingly watched the unhappy Strife through a scrying mirror. “There, you see, *he’ll* never find true love and Ares won’t leave him, alone and unprotected, on earth.”

 

Hephaestus and Aphrodite exchanged uneasy glances. It was true, Ares wouldn’t abandon Strife.

 

There was a bright flash and a whirl of feathers. Eris appeared beside her family and looked up. Everybody looked up.

 

Cupid had Zeus by the throat and was flying him to the top of the temple. “What have you done to MY STRIFE!?”

 

Your Strife?” Zeus managed to gurgle around the fist crushing his windpipe.

 

“Yes, MINE!” Cupid slammed his grandfather into the stone wall. “Where is he?!”

 

Zeus couldn’t talk and was hitting the enraged God of Love on the arms. The gods and goddesses wondered why Zeus wasn’t blasting him until they saw the gleam of metal on his arm. More Hepheastian metal.

 

“Child, bring him back down.” Gaia’s authoritative tone made Cupid listen. “Please. He’s not worth you becoming a murderer over.”

 

Cupid debated that for a moment and then decided his great-grandmother was right. He wouldn’t sink as low as his grandfather.

 

The God of Love, slowly, brought Zeus back to the temple floor. He released the King of the God’s neck and wiped his hand on his leg, as if he had touched something exceedingly dirty.

 

“Aunt Eris told me what you did.”

 

Eris smirked at the gathered crowd. She knew how much her son loved Cupid and now she had proof that Cupid loved Strife just as much. If only he’d say something…

 

“Strife is mine! I love him, I’m going to marry him and *YOU*…” He thumped his grandfather in the chest, causing Zeus to fall on his butt. “…you are going to give him back his godhood and then GET OUT OF OUR LIVES!” The last was screamed into the older god’s face.

 

Zeus flinched back from his irate grandson and glanced around the room for some assistance. None was found.

 

“It’s up to Strife, only he can lift the spell.” Gaia’s softly spoken words made Cupid turn around.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Love is the answer.” Gaia’s eyes spoke scrolls.

 

“No problem.” With that Cupid flashed down to the clearing.

 

xoxoxo

 

Strife jumped and yelped when his cousin suddenly appeared in front of him. “Cupid!”

 

Cupid looked at Strife’s tear-stained face and was lost. He wiped the tears away with his hands.

 

Strife stayed completely still. This was what he had been dreaming about for years.

 

“Mine.”

 

Strife was overwhelmed by the quiet declaration. He didn’t know what had caused this sudden interest by Cupid and right now he didn’t care.

 

“When we were younger, you pretended that you had caused a riot that broke up one of grandpa’s liaisons, even though I was the one who started the fight. You protected me and took the blame for something you didn’t do.” Cupid pulled Strife into his arms. “You did it without expecting any thanks. I realized then and there that I loved you.”

 

The pale immortal gasped, his eyes going wide.

 

“I’m sorry I’ve waited so long to say anything.” Cupid looked worried. Had he hesitated too long?

 

“I forgive ya.” Strife smiled slightly, completely serious.

 

“Thank you.” Cupid was as serious. “I love you.”

 

More tears slid down Strife’s pale cheeks. “I love you too.”

 

The two men kissed and there was a brilliant flash of light as Strife’s godhood was returned to him.

 

xoxoxo

 

“Oh, by the way…” Everyone turned to Aphrodite. “…I bless these unions.” She giggled and everyone but Zeus laughed.

 

xoxoxo

 

 

The next day

 

“You are an idiot.” Hades’ eyes flashed as he looked at his brother.

 

“You my dear are not any smarter.” Poseidon’s image spoke through the scrying mirror. That was the only way the giant water god could attend the trial. “Goddess of Wisdom indeed.” He snorted.

 

Zeus looked around at the crowd. “I was only protecting myself. The prophecy said…”

 

“Yes, the prophecy.” Hera shook her head disdainfully. “It said that the son of Discord would bring your *glorious* reign to an end.”

 

“That’s right, I was protecting all of the gods of Olympus. Strife would not make a good King of the Gods.”

 

Strife’s eyes widened in surprise. He snorted and began giggling. Before long the God of Mischief was laughing so hard he was hanging onto his fiancé just to stay up. “Me, King ah tha Gods.” Strife fell over laughing. “That’s tha funniest thing I’ve evah heard.”

 

“You see, he would be totally inappropriate as the King.” Zeus looked down his nose at his hysterical grandson.

 

“You fool, Strife wouldn’t be the new king…” Hera backed away from her misguided husband. “…Ares would. Strife *is* next in line, because of you.” Hera waved away Zeus’ protest. “When Ares adopted him, Strife became Ares’ son, just as if he were born to him. That made him the only male heir in the House of War. If you hadn’t threatened Strife’s life, he wouldn’t be so high up on the chain of command.”

 

Cupid held on to his still giggling fiancé; he didn’t look the least put out at not being Ares’ direct heir. Why in the god’s name would I want the job. All that back biting and fighting. Cupid shuddered and pulled Strife closer.

 

“And what do you have to say for yourself?” Athena flinched back at Hades’ question.

 

“What do you mean?” She was attempting to brazen it out.

 

The waiting audience looked back to Hades. “You tried to kill your brother and nephew.”

 

“I wouldn’t dream of touching *either* of them.” Athena’s lip curled disdainfully as she looked over at Strife. Her contempt for the younger god was obvious.

 

“You sent those warlords to kill Ares and Strife, knowing that they would be weak and vulnerable after Zeus’ curse. You might as well have stabbed them yourself.”

 

Aphrodite strode up to Zeus. “You threatened to kill an innocent baby, just because of some dumb prophecy.” The blond goddess shook her head disgustedly.

 

Hera looked at her husband in revulsion. “You tried to kill our baby boy and our sweet grandson.” With that Hera turned her back on her husband and went to stand between her stunned son and grandson.

 

Athena tried to get out of her chains, but they wouldn’t budge. She looked around the room for support and was met with ice cold hatred.

 

Hades looked at the two gods, contemplating. “Now, as for your punishment…”

 

A small voice piped up. “GreaGan’pa likes girls. AunThenia like read.” Bliss bounced up and down on his father’s lap.

 

Cupid looked at his son and smiled wickedly. He glanced over at Zeus and Athena, he smirked.

 

Strife tickled Bliss’ tummy. “Good one kiddo.”

 

“Yes, I concur.” Hades gazed around at the other gods and no one, other than Zeus and Athena, of course, seemed to object.

 

“Zeus, Athena, your punishment shall be to live in Pentovia.”

 

This pronouncement was greeted with silence; no one had ever heard of Pentovia.

 

Pentovia is a lovely, tiny village in the far north of Greece. The people there are a very simple and religious group. They practice celibacy…” Zeus gasped in horror. “…and the majority of them are illiterate.” Athena blanched. “In fact, reading and writing are forbidden to all except the town priests.” Hades smiled, not a pretty smile at all. “I do hope you’ll like your new lives there…as mortals.”

 

Before the two former gods could protest they were sent to their new lives. Hades turned back away, dismissing the fallen gods as unimportant.

 

“All hail the new King of the Gods.” Hades dropped to one knee in front of Ares.

 

“All hail Ares.”

 

The hall exploded with cheers and from Strife’s side, loud whistles. Ares looked at his fiancé, stunned at how quickly everything had changed.

 

“Hail to the King.” Joxer smiled brilliantly.

 

xoxoxo

 

The next few years were frustrating ones for Zeus and Athena. Celibacy was practiced in Pentovia, but that didn’t mean sex *never* happened. This heartened Zeus for a while, until he realized the truth.

 

As King of the Gods, Zeus had his pick of any young woman, or man, that he wanted. However…as a mortal, Zeus was just a dirty old man. He was beaten up several times before he got the picture and stopped chasing after the young people in town.

 

Athena tried to teach the people to read and write. A noble purpose, but unfortunately nobody else thought so. The ex-Goddess of Wisdom and War was jailed many times before she learned her lesson.

 

She lived out her days watching over a cranky and horny father. Zeus lived out his days watching over a frustrated and bored daughter.

 

xoxoxo

 

Hercules, Iolaus, Xena and Gabrielle stood impatiently at the front of the temple. Ares and Joxer’s wedding had been one week ago. Strife and Cupid’s had been the day before that. The honeymoons were over and everyone was waiting excitedly for the latest ceremony to begin.

 

Today was the day a new god was going to be designated and people couldn’t wait to see what Joxer would be the god of.

 

“I’m guessing he’ll be the God of Peace.” Gabrielle was hoping.

 

Hercules turned towards the Amazon Princess. “I don’t know, he’s a new god, it’s more likely that they’ll give him a minor godhood.”

 

Xena didn’t have an opinion, she’d just wait and see.

 

Iolaus looked over at his happy young friend and decided it didn’t matter what he was the god of, as long as he was happy. Seeing how Ares and Joxer were currently attempting to remove each other’s tonsils with their tongues, Iolaus figured Joxer was fairly content.

 

The room quietened as Hades stepped to the front. “We are here today to dispense a godhood.” The God of the Underworld smiled at the two couples who obviously wanted to get back to their celebrating. “So, let’s get on with it.”

 

Joxer, husband of Ares, I designate your godhood to be…The God of Sexuality.”

 

A slow wolfish smile spread over Joxer’s face. Ares’ eyes lit up. “Oh yeah.”

 

Joxer closed his eyes and gasped as power from his new godhood poured into him. He opened his eyes and arched one eyebrow sensually.

 

Hercules’ mouth fell open in shock. Xena and Gabrielle had a hard time standing still. Iolaus smiled knowingly.

 

At the surprised looks he got Iolaus just smirked. “I could see it.”

 

They watched as Joxer crooked one finger and Ares willingly came to him. Joxer grabbed Ares around the waist and in a flash they were gone, leaving behind a great many overexcited watchers.

 

Ya know Cupe, I think they’ve got tha right idea.”

 

Strife yelped as his husband swept him up in his arms. “Let’s go.” Another flash and they were gone. Strife’s giggle echoed around the room for a few seconds tauntingly.

 

…and they lived happily ever after.