An Unlikely Encounter
by NavyVet
FANDOM: JAG/NCIS crossover
PAIRING: Rabb/DiNozzo
RATING: FRAO; Slash; AU (All Slash is AU to me,
unless it's canon.)
WARNINGS: First time (sort of); frottage,
cuddling, sappiness.
I
went Beta-less on this one, so if you catch any mistakes, please let me
know. My wonderful Beta-Reader keeps
trying to convince me I don't need her, but being self-confident isn't my
forte.
SPOILERS: Takes place in the spring of 2003, right
after "Meltdown" (JAG ep # 8-21/NCIS
spin-off pilot, part 2). Of course, any
JAG history up to that point is fair game.
Okay?
SUMMARY: Harm is feeling a little blue and finds a
most unexpected comfort.
DISCLAIMERS: The usual drill; Bellisario's,
not mine; no money, just playing, yada, yada, yada. Besides, I doubt DPB would sue me for my VA
disability check anyway.
ARCHIVE: I'll send it to WWOMB and Lone Tree. Anywhere else, just ask. Oh, and feedback excites me no end.
Authors
Note: I swore that I wouldn't write any other stories until I finished my
never-ending novel, but this bunny kept tugging on my sleeve and just would NOT
let go, so I'm taking a little break from my 'beast' to write this. It's my first consensual slash fic I know,
I can't believe it either. I fully
intended for it to be a simple PWP, but it ended up with back-story and
more. I just couldn't help myself. Not only is it a JAG/NCIS crossover, but it
is also an excuse to do a rare pairing.
I figured it was a good way for me to ease into the NCIS fandom by
combining it with JAG. If there's enough
interest, I may be convinced to continue as a little series. :-)
It
was Saturday evening and Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo was really glad to be
back in town after the NCIS team's last assignment. It had been a hectic schedule over the past
few weeks and Tony was tired, but it was a good tired. They had been chasing
terrorists and investigating the murder of a JAG officer simultaneously. Now, with both cases wrapped up, Tony was ready
to unwind by cruising a couple of bars and seeing what the evening unfolded.
The
first stop wasn't overly crowded yet, but then it was still early. Tony was decked out in gray dress slacks, a
black, silk, button down shirt, open at the neck, and a pair of expensive,
black, Italian leather shoes. He knew he
looked good and perused the place with an air of confidence. Stepping up to the bar to order a beer, Tony
couldn't believe his eyes. Of all the
people to be sitting on a bar stool, alone, staring down into a short, stout
glass of brownish colored liquid, he didn't expect to see this person
here. Tony walked over to the empty
stool next to the tall, dark-haired man, noticing the hunched over posture,
elbows up on the bar, both hands clasped loosely around his glass. He seemed deep in thought, oblivious to the
sounds and activities going on around him.
"Well,
if it isn't Commander Rabb, JAG lawyer extraordinaire," Tony said
jovially.
Harm's
head jerked up in surprise and a look of recognition slowly came over him. "Never thought I'd cross paths with you
again, Agent DiNozzo," he muttered.
"That's
*Special* Agent DiNozzo," Tony said teasingly, grinning
broadly. He stuck out his hand to
Harm. "But you can call me
Tony. After all, we are
off-duty." Tony made the statement
confidently, since the Commander was wearing civilian clothing; specifically, a
light beige knit shirt, worn untucked over a pair of jeans.
"Harm,"
the man responded, returning the handshake briefly.
"So,
is it okay if I sit here?" Tony was
already pulling the stool out to move around it.
"It's
a free country," Harm shrugged.
"Yeah,
it is," Tony said, sitting down.
"Thanks to people like you defending it for the rest of us."
Harm
gave him a long look and realized Tony meant that sincerely. "Our jobs aren't all that
different. You work to find the truth
and serve justice, too."
"We
try," Tony chuckled, as the bartender came over to take his drink
order. "So, Harm, what's your
poison?"
Harm
looked down at his almost full glass.
"Bourbon. But I'm good for
now." He waved the bartender off
after Tony ordered a beer.
"I
suppose you're celebrating your freedom, huh?" Tony grinned again. He just couldn't resist teasing the
oh-so-serious, tightly controlled lawyer.
"Is
that what you'd call it celebrating?"
Harm tossed a gulp of bourbon down his throat, looked around, and
sighed. "Yeah, I'm celebrating all
right, me and all my friends."
Tony
took a swig of his beer, realizing that the guy sitting next to him was in
anything but a partying mood. "I
can only imagine how it must have sucked being accused of murder when you're
not guilty of it," he said a little more seriously. "That had to be nerve-wracking."
"I
wasn't too worried, though I wasn't too sure about my attorney's
abilities. I just had to believe that
justice would prevail and the truth would come out ... eventually. Took you and Gibbs long enough to figure it
out."
Finally,
at that moment, Tony witnessed a hint of a smile from Harm, even if it was more
of a smirk. "Yeah, well ..."
"Oh. Good comeback," Harm laughed outright.
"Hey,
at the time, we thought we had the right guy," Tony argued
indignantly. "I was just doing my
job."
"Uh-huh. I remember you being the one who slapped the
cuffs on me when Gibbs placed me under arrest.
You seem to enjoy your job way too much."
Tony
actually flushed with embarrassment at the memory and hoped Rabb didn't
notice. "At least we finally did
get the guy who killed Lieutenant Singer.
Too bad we couldn't figure out who got her pregnant."
"You
know, for awhile I actually thought I might be related to that baby ... as an
uncle. I guess we'll never know who the
father was."
"Nope,
probably not," Tony conceded. He
wondered why the Commander had been drinking alone and where the hell his
friends were. When Harm started to get
quiet and sad-looking again, Tony became determined to cheer up the lonely man.
The
next couple of hours passed quickly, as Tony animatedly related numerous wild
adventures of his time as a detective with the
Tony
was enjoying Harm's company as well.
They seemed to get along, falling into a relaxed camaraderie as they got
to know each other better through the course of the evening. It surprised Tony that he had ended up with a
new drinking buddy instead of flirting with some hot, young woman, but he
realized he didn't even mind. He had
been carefully nursing his beers throughout the evening, fully intent on
keeping his wits about him and ensuring that he could drive his car home later.
Observing Harm, he had paid attention to the fact that the older, heavier built
man seemed to be pacing himself as well.
Harm struck Tony as the type of guy who didn't like to lose control
ever. The one time Tony had witnessed
that loss of control was when Gibbs had Harm in the interrogation room. Gibbs had a knack for pushing all the right
buttons and had played the tightly wound Commander like a fiddle.
The
subject of women had, of course, come up at some point. Harm quickly discovered that it wasn't so
much the difference in their ages as it was the difference in the maturity
level between them that became noticeable.
Tony came across as a player, a ladies man, or at least someone who
didn't take relationships very seriously.
After the obligatory bragging, Tony suddenly changed the subject back to
Harm.
"What
about you?" Tony asked. "Don't
you have a significant other? I mean I
would think a good-looking guy like you, with the whole 'officer and gentleman'
thing going on, should have women swarming all over you."
Harm
snorted and shook his head at Tony's off-handed compliment. After a long pause, he answered cryptically,
"I thought maybe I had found the right one, but ... I don't know
anymore. It's complicated." Harm wouldn't discuss that subject any
further.
Tony
got the impression that this aviator/lawyer was either in love or had gotten
hurt by someone, perhaps both. He sensed
confusion, but didn't get any vibes that Harm was anything but straight.
'Too
bad,' thought Tony. He wasn't about to
let on that he was bisexual, keeping that part of himself well hidden.
Somehow,
the conversation came back around to their work and they ended up discussing
their bosses.
"What's
it like, working for Gibbs?" Harm
asked.
"Oh,
man, what a question," Tony chuckled.
He was certainly not about to admit that he worshipped, and was even
attracted to, his male, very straight boss.
Some things were definitely better kept secret. "Let's see, where do I start? He can be a real bastard, but he's damn good
at what he does. He's tough as nails,
yet makes me want to do my best, tries like hell to keep me in line. I've been known to be a bit of a loose cannon
at times."
"No,
really?" It was Harm's turn to
laugh and it felt good to finally be able to return Tony's good-natured teasing
throughout the evening. Tony caught his
facetious tone.
"Hey,
you're making fun of me!" Tony exclaimed in mock indignation, but then
grinned from ear to ear.
"No,
I'm not," Harm said innocently.
"Sometimes, you remind me of myself when I was younger. Let's just say there were plenty of times I
drove Admiral Chegwidden crazy. I think
I still do."
"But,
is he a good boss? You know,
fair?" Tony interjected.
"I
had always thought so," Harm answered after a long pause. "I really admired and respected the man
even when we disagreed."
"Sounds
like you're talking past tense. So, what
changed?"
"I
don't know." Harm turned serious
and thoughtful again. Looking Tony
square in the eyes, he continued.
"I had a lot of time to think when I was stuck in that awful brig. Being an officer, they tried to keep me
separate from the enlisted suspects, but I could hear things ... at night. There were some badass criminals in there,
Tony. It was a scary place."
"Shit,
Harm, did anyone try anything with you?" Tony interrupted, his eyes wide
in shock.
"Not
beyond some verbal harassment and threats, guess I was lucky," Harm
shrugged. "But it sure made me
jumpy." He shuddered slightly.
"Jeez,
I'm sorry you were stuck in there for so long," Tony looked at Harm sadly.
"Not
your fault," Harm reminded him gently.
"But, do you know what the worst part of all was?"
Tony
shook his head. "You mean other
than being locked up for something you didn't do? I can't imagine."
"The
whole time I was in that place, my lawyer was the only visitor I had. No one else came to see me, not once, not
even my Commanding Officer. I used to believe
that my colleagues were also my friends.
Guess I was wrong about that, too," Harm sighed. "I don't know anything anymore."
Harm
looked miserable and Tony finally understood why Harm had appeared so bummed
out all evening. It made him angry how anyone
could abandon an innocent man like that, at a time when he most needed moral
support.
"That's
just not right!" Tony said furiously.
"Hey, you know what? Screw
'em. Who needs friends like that? Screw them all."
"Relax,
Tony," Harm smirked. "I'll get
over it."
"Well,
you deserve better friends," Tony said quietly, calming down. "I'd never treat a friend that way,
that's for sure."
"That's
nice to hear," Harm smiled. He
looked down at his watch. It was nearly
Suddenly,
Tony decided he didn't want the evening to end yet. Harm had been pleasant company is spite of
his subdued mood and Tony couldn't help but be a bit concerned about him.
"It's
not that late. Besides, I'm not sure if
you're okay to drive." Tony had
watched Harm carefully. The man was
taller, broader, and had at least thirty pounds on him, but had consumed more
alcohol than Tony had, though he was by no means shit-faced.
"Don't
worry. I didn't bring my car. The plan was to really tie one on and have a
cab take me home. I didn't quite get
plastered, but I've definitely had enough to drink."
"Yeah,
well, my original plan was to get laid tonight, but plans change," Tony
shrugged. "I go with the
flow."
"Damn,
I'm sorry if I ruined your chance to get lucky, Tony," Harm said.
"Don't
be, and you didn't ruin anything," Tony assured him, smacking him on the
back. "Instead, I got a new
drinking buddy. It's all good. I enjoyed hanging out with you, Harm. Maybe we can do it again, sometime."
"Yeah,
maybe."
Both
men paid their tabs. The bar had gotten
noisier and quite crowded by this time.
Harm stood up first, looking a little lost. He had to admit to himself that Tony had been
entertaining and fun to hang out with, a welcome distraction from everything
that had been weighing heavily on his mind.
Slightly unsteady on his feet, he also realized two things; he was a
little more inebriated than he first thought and he really wasn't ready to face
going back to his empty apartment yet.
"You
all right?" Tony asked with gentle concern. He stood as well, and was struck once again
by how tall the other man was. Tony was
tall himself, so it wasn't often that he actually had to look up into someone's
eyes.
"I'm
fine. Guess I better call that
cab," Harm stated.
"No
need. I'll give you ride
home."
"I
can't let you do that," Harm protested weakly. "I've taken up enough of your time
already."
"I
insist," Tony said stubbornly.
"Besides, didn't I tell you that you need new friends? Well, now you've got one." Tony beamed at Harm and couldn't resist
gripping onto Harm's upper arm.
"Come on. Let's go take a
walk first to get some fresh air and clear our heads."
"Um,
okay. That sounds like a good
idea," Harm grinned sheepishly.
Tony let go of his arm and led the way to the bar's exit. Harm followed him outside to the street.
The
night sky was crystal clear with a nearly full moon casting a silvery
glow. Compared to the stuffy warmth of
the bar, the air felt cool and brisk.
Tony took a deep breath.
"Ah, this is refreshing. I
love this time of night!"
Harm
gave him a sideways look, his eyebrow raised.
He found himself wondering if the younger man was always this exuberant
about everything. Tony started walking
with a purpose, but at a leisurely pace, so Harm ambled alongside him. They had walked for several blocks, Tony
chattering almost constantly about something or other, but Harm didn't mind
that at all. The brisk air was
invigorating; he felt more alert now.
They continued to talk and joke and eventually Tony wound down. By the time they made their way back around
to the area where they had started, they were strolling in a companionable
silence.
Tony
stopped next to a parked car and took out his keys. "You ready for that ride home?"
Harm
looked at the sleek, black Corvette.
"Nice ride. You ready to
drive?"
"Yeah,
I'm good ... not even tired, wide awake even," Tony let loose with another
brilliant smile, as he unlocked his car.
They both got in and Tony made the engine roar to life. "You gotta navigate, buddy. I have no idea where we're going."
"No
problem." Harm gave him directions
and told him along the way when and where to turn.
"I
must say, I like your taste in cars," Harm commented as they traveled
through the greater DC area.
"Thanks. I love this car! It's a 1990 ZR1 a classic, you know,"
Tony said with pride.
"Classic?" Harm started laughing, shaking his head.
"What's
so funny?" Tony shot him a quick glance, then focused back on the road in
front of him.
"Sorry. I find it amusing what you young people
consider *classic*," Harm smirked.
"Oh,
listen to you," Tony argued.
"You're not *that* much older than me!"
"I
don't even want to think about it, but I'm going to be turning forty this
year," Harm said with an exaggerated sigh.
"Okay,
so you're a *few* years older than I am," Tony laughed
heartily. He took way too much glee in
teasing the stoic JAG officer.
"By
the way, I have a 'Vette, too," Harm announced.
"No
way!" Tony was incredulous. "No wonder you like my taste in
rides. What kind?"
"A
'68 Mako Shark, rally red. Now that's a
classic."
"Sweet!"
Tony interjected.
"I restored her myself. Got a small garage where I can keep it locked
up. It's actually my second one. The first one got stolen. By the time the police found it at a chop
shop, there was nothing left," Harm said wistfully.
"Oh,
man, that totally sucks," Tony said sympathetically. "I don't know what I'd do if something
happened to this baby. I'd be ...
devastated."
Harm
nodded in agreement, remembering how he had felt. "Yeah, it hurt. Hope you never have to go through that."
"So,
can I see it sometime? Maybe you could
take me for a ride," Tony said innocently.
"Sure,
that could be arranged," Harm replied, his smile open and sincere.
"Cool." Tony grinned, as apparently his double
meaning had been completely lost on Harm.
They
continued their lively banter about fast cars the rest of the way to Harm's
loft. Once there, Tony pulled up in
front of the warehouse-like building.
"That's
my Lexus there," Harm said, pointing.
"You can park right behind it."
Tony
filed away that piece of information. So
far, he had learned that the lawyer owned a sports car, a luxury SUV, and a
plane, all on a Navy Commander's pay. He
was curious to know how Harm managed that.
Then, he stared up at the old, industrial looking structure.
"You
live here?" he asked dubiously.
"Hey,
it's not that bad inside, Tony. Didn't
anyone ever teach you to never judge a book by its cover?"
"Uh-huh. Sure.
This I gotta see." Tony's
eyes twinkled mischievously and Harm realized he was being teased again.
Harm
hesitated awkwardly before making a move to get out of the vehicle, as though
steeling himself to face his empty, lonely apartment. He genuinely liked Tony's personality and his
sense of humor had cheered him up considerably.
After being in enjoyable company for the past several hours, Harm wished
he had someone to come home to, instead of always ending up alone.
"Well,
uh ... I could give you the nickel tour, but I'm sure you want to get
going. Thanks for the ride,
man." Harm swung the car door open. Tony's hand on his forearm prevented Harm
from climbing out.
"Wait,"
said Tony. He felt a vague sense that
Harm didn't want to be alone tonight, and he wasn't quite yet ready to end the
evening either. He saw an opportunity
present itself in front of him and took advantage of it. "I'm not in any hurry to be anywhere, so
can I take you up on that tour?"
"Um
... sure," Harm smiled, somehow looking relieved and a little bit puzzled
at the same time, as he got out of the car.
Taking
notice of Harm's expression, Tony jumped out, locking up and setting the
alarm. He followed the taller man into
the building.
Once
they reached the upstairs corridor, Harm opened the door to his loft and
flipped on a light switch. "This is
it, my humble abode."
Tony
walked past Harm and whistled, taking it all in. The place was modern, yet classy, very open
with high ceilings, comfortable and surprisingly neat. "Wow.
This is not what I expected."
"Is
that good or bad?" Harm asked.
"Definitely
good," Tony answered with a grin.
"I
did the renovations back in ninety seven.
Talk about hard work; took me forever."
"I'm
impressed." Tony turned to glance
back at Harm before being drawn to the state of the art kitchen. "Nice kitchen."
"Thanks. I like to cook," Harm said, enjoying the
opportunity to brag.
"Really,"
Tony said, drawing out the word in exaggeration and lifting his eyebrows. "I love to eat. How convenient."
That
made Harm laugh.
"But,
are you any good at it?" asked Tony.
"I
think so, but then I'm pretty good at most things I do or I wouldn't do
them," Harm said with confidence.
"Pretty
sure of yourself, aren't ya?" Tony
egged him on relentlessly. In fact, Tony
was beginning to believe that Harm was completely self-assured when it came to
his job and most aspects of his life, other than his love life, or the apparent
lack of one.
"I
should warn you, though, I don't eat meat," Harm said, watching for Tony's
reaction.
"That's
cool. What's your specialty, anyway?
"Huh?"
Harm gave Tony a confused look.
"Cooking
got any special dishes in your repertoire?" Tony clarified patiently.
"Oh. I make a pretty mean veggie lasagna, for
example."
Tony's
mouth watered, realizing it had been hours since he had eaten any solid
food. Then his stomach gurgled. "Okay, stop talking about food, I'm
starving! I suppose I should get going
anyway."
Harm
was leaning against the counter.
"I'm hungry, too. I could
whip up something to eat. That is, if
you don't have to rush off," he offered impulsively.
Tony
was moving through the kitchen and stopped in front of Harm. "Really?
You'd feed me? I mean, you don't
have to go through any trouble or anything.
I should probably get out of your hair, wouldn't want to keep someone
your age up past your bedtime..."
"Smart
ass," Harm warned. "Look, it's
no trouble and it's the least I can do.
You went out of your way to bring me home, so let me reciprocate."
"Okay,
twist my arm," Tony grinned gleefully.
"What are you going to make?"
"Do
you like pasta?"
Curling
his hand into a fist, Tony used his knuckles to tap Harm on the head several
times. "Hell-o-o-o. My last name is DiNozzo," he said,
rolling his eyes.
"I
take that as a big yes," Harm smirked sheepishly, after which they both
burst out laughing.
First,
Harm turned on the stereo, filling the room with some funky, upbeat jazz. Harm got them both some bottled water from
the fridge to drink while Tony planted himself on a stool at the island counter
to watch Harm at work. Harm even put on
a chef's apron to protect his clothes, which made Tony laugh. After he started a pot of water to boil, he
went to the freezer and took out two containers. "Red or white?"
"What?"
Tony queried, baffled by the question.
It
was Harm's turn to roll his eyes.
"Marinara or cream sauce?" he chuckled.
"Surprise
me," Tony shot back smugly.
Harm
put one container back in the freezer and proceeded to explain how he made
batches of sauce in advance when he had the time and froze portions to use
later, thereby making it much easier to whip up something quickly when the mood
struck him. Tony watched, and rambled
non-stop, while Harm chopped up a few fresh vegetables, including a tomato, a
zucchini, an onion, a carrot, a stalk of celery, broccoli, and some mushrooms. While the pasta was cooking, he put a little
bit of olive oil in a wok, threw in all the diced veggies, sprinkled several
different herbs and spices over them, and put on the lid. After putting a few rolls in the oven to
warm, Harm then set the table quickly.
In the center, there was a flat dish containing three, thick, white
pillar candles of varying heights and Harm lit all three of them.
"Is
there anything I can do?" Tony felt
guilty doing nothing while his host buzzed around busily.
"Nope,"
Harm replied. "You want some wine
with this?"
"Um
... only if you're having some," Tony said, just to be safe.
Tony
was fascinated by the smooth, calm efficiency with which Harm did things. Harm stirred the veggies every minute or
so. Tony could hear the sizzling heat as
steam would pour out, while Harm added the white sauce he had defrosted,
stirring again. When everything was good
and hot, Harm drained the pasta, dumped it in the huge wok, and started tossing
it all together.
"God,
that smells so good, I'm drooling," commented Tony.
"Good. I think we're about ready." Harm made sure to turn off the stove and
oven. He took the tray of rolls and slid
them onto a plate, which he then placed on the table. Harm handed a bottle to Tony. "Here, you pour the wine and then bring
me your plate. It's easier for me to
just serve from here."
Tony
filled the two glasses, leaving the bottle on the table. He carried both dinner plates over to where
Harm was standing at the stove, still lightly tossing his creation. "I brought yours, too."
"Thanks,
Tony." Harm looked up and smiled,
taking one plate, piling a mound of food on it, and handing it back to
Tony. "Ta-da, I call this my
Fettuccine Primavera. Go. Sit.
I'm right behind you." Harm
filled his own plate, put the lid back on the wok, and joined Tony, who had
politely waited for him, at the table.
"Let's eat." With that
said, both men enthusiastically dug into their food.
"M-m-m,
m-m-m. Oh-my-god, this is
fantastic!" Tony raved between mouthfuls.
Little moans and other sounds of pleasure tumbled from Tony's mouth with
every bite. Harm was thoroughly
entertained by the younger man's hedonistic display. Tony was too busy to even talk until he had
finished. It was the longest lapse of
conversation of the entire evening, which amused Harm no end.
Harm
pushed his plate away and leaned back, savoring a sip of wine. He found himself observing, with just a
twinge of envy, how Tony seemed to find pleasure and enjoyment to the extreme
in every simple thing.
Tony
caught Harm studying him with a peculiar expression and he finally spoke. "Man, I'm stuffed. I thought you were going to fix a snack. I never expected a whole meal at
"So
then, I take it you approve of my cooking abilities?" Harm smirked.
"Well,
duh. This was incredible, not just the
fettuccine, everything. You didn't have
to go all out like this, you know, the wine, candles, really nice. I'm duly impressed."
"Thanks,
I'm glad you liked it," Harm said modestly, smiling broadly.
"I'm
trying to figure you out," Tony was
on a roll now. "I don't get why
you're not married. Not only are you a great cook, you have a cool job, you're
good-looking, you remodeled this whole apartment, you restore cars, you fly
jets and you even own your own plane.
Hell, if you were a woman, *I'd* ask you to marry me."
Harm's
reaction to Tony's last statement was immediate. He had been just about to swallow a mouthful
of wine when he choked and literally spit the wine out, splattering his lap and
the table in front of him. Snorting and
sputtering, he grabbed his napkin.
"Fuck, Tony!"
Tony
found the whole scene uproariously funny and couldn't stop laughing. "Oh, man, if you could have seen the
look on your face just now,'" he chortled.
"So, I guess asking you to adopt me would be out of the question,
too."
"You
think you're pretty funny, don't you," Harm stated, not laughing. He finally stopped coughing, wiped his face
and began dabbing at his clothes.
"So much for this shirt and pants."
Tony's
expression suddenly lost its jubilance, as he worried that he had genuinely
upset the flustered officer.
"Sorry," he said contritely.
"Just get some cold water on them, and they'll be fine." He gave Harm his best lost puppy look. "Don't be mad, okay? Come on, you gotta admit, it was at least a
little bit funny."
Harm
stood up and shook his head, smirking.
"I'm not mad, Tony. You just
have a knack for shocking the hell out of me.
Are you always this way?"
"Nah,
usually only around people I feel comfortable with." Tony's eyes sparkled, as he flashed another
brilliant smile at Harm.
The
compliment was not lost on Harm and the smile he returned was warm. "I'm just going to go change real
quick. Make yourself comfortable."
"I'm
not sure I could get up if I tried," Tony sighed, rubbing his full
belly. He watched Harm walk into his
bedroom, nonchalantly peeking as Harm pulled his stained shirt off. Tony caught a glimpse of a powerfully built,
muscular torso; the well-defined chest had a moderate sprinkling of black
hair. Harm grabbed something out of a
dresser drawer, and as he turned to disappear into the bathroom, Tony could see
his broad back and shoulders, his gaze dropping to check out the jean-clad ass.
Tony
took this opportunity to do something helpful.
He jumped up and cleared the table, setting things next to the
sink. He then wiped the table to clean
away the spilled wine. When Harm
returned, Tony was standing at the sink.
"Hey,"
Harm said, coming up behind him. He
noticed the clean table and the neatly stacked dishes.
"Hey." Tony turned to see Harm in a white tee shirt,
gray sweatpants, and white socks.
"I wanted to help, but I didn't know what you wanted done with the
leftovers and all."
"You
did good," Harm smiled and Tony's face lit up. "It'll just take me a minute to put the
food away. I think I'll rinse the dishes
and leave them in the sink 'til the morning."
"I
can do the rinsing part," Tony offered brightly, eager to please the older
man.
"Thanks,
but you really don't have to. It is
getting late."
"Are
you trying to get rid of me?" Tony
asked with another of his innocent puppy dog looks.
"Ah
... no, but, I figured ..."
"Listen,
can I be honest with you?" Tony asked, standing in front of Harm.
"Of
course," Harm nodded. "I
wouldn't expect you to be anything but."
"I
got no plans for tomorrow, well, technically it is tomorrow, but anyway, I
suppose I'm stalling. After the wine, I
probably shouldn't be driving, and I'm not too thrilled about going home to an
empty apartment. If you want me to
leave, that's cool, but I've been getting the feeling that you don't want to be
alone, either." Tony paused,
waiting for Harm to say something.
Harm
shifted uncomfortably, not knowing where the young man was going with this conversation. He found himself at a loss for words and
turned away.
Tony
reached out, putting his hand on Harm's shoulder for a moment. "I like hanging out with you, Harm. It's weird; I feel like I've known you for
ages. I like the things we have in common,
you know, like how we're both dedicated to our work, we like classy things,
have great taste, and we're both damn good-looking. Of course, I'm the better looking one, but
hey..."
Harm
couldn't help but chuckle softly.
"See? Made you laugh," Tony grinned. "So, can I stay? I could crash on the couch, when you get
tired. I can fall sleep almost
anywhere."
Tony
looked so hopeful, thought Harm, though he couldn't figure out why. "Okay, okay, I'm not going to throw you
out. That would be rude of me,"
Harm smirked, as he started wrapping up food and putting things away. Tony rinsed and piled the dirty dishes in the
deep sink. Harm wiped up the countertops
and they were done within a few minutes.
Tony
grabbed the half-empty bottle of wine.
"Now we can safely get drunk," he beamed, wiggling his
eyebrows.
"Sure,
why not?" Harm pulled out two fresh
glasses and Tony poured.
Tony
walked over with his drink and, after slipping his shoes off, flopped on the
sofa in a comfortable sprawl. Harm
changed the music to something mellow, picked up his glass, and sprawled across
the other end of the sofa.
"Cheers,"
Harm toasted, lifting his glass to Tony.
"To
good friends," said Tony, clinking his glass with Harm's. He leaned back, totally relaxed and listened
to what was playing on the stereo system.
"Hey, this music is pretty cool.
What is it?"
"Pat
Methany," Harm answered. "I
like to listen to all kinds of guitarists; I play a little bit." He motioned with a head gesture over to a
corner where his guitar was propped.
"No
kidding. Wow." Tony sounded surprised. "You're a man of many unusual
talents."
The
two of them continued to drink and talk.
Tony asked Harm again why he didn't have a girlfriend, and actually got
him to open up about his feelings for his partner and best friend, Lieutenant
Colonel Sarah MacKenzie. Harm explained
that because of regulations and other issues too complicated to explain, they
had never connected and things hadn't gone any further than the occasional
kiss. He was afraid that as long as they
worked together, they could never be more than friends. Harm also admitted that it had been a long
time since he'd been in a serious relationship and that he hadn't even done
much dating since then.
"Gee,
I go out all the time, as much as possible.
I guess that makes me a serial dater," Tony grinned.
"I
don't do one night stands," Harm commented, sounding more judgmental then
he intended.
"Don't
get the wrong impression here," Tony said defensively. "I may do a lot of dating, but I don't
score all that often. I let people
believe that I'm a player; it's more talk and attitude than anything. I'm actually very careful and safe. The only reason I'm not in a monogamous
relationship is because I haven't found the right person yet."
"I'm
sorry, Tony. I didn't mean to imply
"
"Nah,
don't worry about it," Tony shrugged.
"I understand more than you think, though. I sort of have feelings for someone who is
completely unavailable, but that's all I'm gonna say on that subject. If anyone asks, I'll deny, deny,
deny." Tony may have felt
comfortable enough with his new friend to share almost any secret, but
admitting to having a 'thing' for Gibbs was not information he was prepared to
divulge to anyone. He was also certain
that Harm assumed he was referring to a woman.
"Anyway, if you're asking if I have an active social life, the
answer is yeah, sure beats being lonely."
Harm
gave a half-hearted nod in agreement, thinking over what Tony had said. Silence stretched for several moments and
Tony had a distinct impression that Harm was a very lonely guy.
"Harm,
I feel as though I can talk to you about most anything. I hope you feel you can trust me, too,"
Tony said sincerely.
"I'm
not quite sure how you got it out of me, but it feels good to have a friend to
talk to. It seemed I had a lot to get
off my chest," Harm's smile was shy again.
"Hey,
that's what best buds are for," Tony beamed, pointing his thumbs at
himself, which made Harm chuckle. They
had long since finished the wine and Tony, feeling daring, leaned a little
closer to Harm. "Now, if I'm being
too nosy, you can tell me to shut up, but I gotta ask. How long has it been since you've connected
with someone, you know, physically?"
Mildly
surprised by the question, Harm groaned.
"Too long ... way, way too long."
"Well,
see now, that's definitely not good," Tony said jokingly. "You're thirty nine years old and you
haven't been involved in any kind of intimate relationship with a woman for
some time. What's the problem?"
"It's
... complicated," Harm said, rubbing his temple.
"Yeah, yeah, you keep saying that. I'm just wondering if there's more to it than you pining for this Mac person."
"What are you really trying to say?" Harm asked, not sure whether he should be nervous or annoyed with Tony's probing into his personal life.
"Okay, at the risk of getting decked, I'm just gonna come right out and ask; are you one hundred per cent straight?"
It took about two whole seconds before Harm, with a stunned look on his face, could respond. "What the hell kind of question is that? You can't ask me that; I'm in the Navy, for-gods-sake!" he yelled, his voice rising in pitch.
'Gotcha,' Tony thought. The fact that Harm had answered his question with a question, instead of a resounding 'yes' or 'of course', spoke volumes to Tony, who had just begun to suspect there was something more to this man. He had felt an instant camaraderie with Harm and, truth be told, an attraction, as well. However, Harm was spooked and Tony knew he had to proceed cautiously.
"I know, I know, the whole stupid 'don't ask, don't tell' thing," Tony said with mild sarcasm. "You don't *have* to tell me anything you don't want to, Harm, but you really can trust me," he shrugged. Harm was still too flustered to speak, so Tony took a chance and continued. "I'm very good at keeping secrets. If it helps, I'm willing to share one about myself with you. Just promise me you won't freak out and beat me up or throw me out."
"You're gay?" Harm's voice went so high with shock; he practically squeaked the two words out.
"Well ... technically, I'm 'bi', but I prefer to think of myself as a 'sensualist.' I'm very tactile and I can never seem to get enough sex .. or affection either, for that matter. Now, don't get me wrong, I love women, adore them, they're soft and curvy, sweet and kind, smell good, but sometimes I just need something more, you know, different. I find the male body just as much of a turn-on as the female one and swinging both ways opens up twice as many options out there, more opportunities to ... connect, to feel good, you know, have great sex ... maybe even meet my soul mate "
"Jesus, Tony, stop," Harm interrupted.
"Sorry, too much information?" Tony blushed slightly.
"I was just wondering if you were going to stop talking long enough to take a breath," Harm said tiredly. He didn't know what to make of this brash, crazy, young man who was having such a strange effect on him. Tony had tilted Harm's world on its axis. Thoughts that he had long buried many years ago came bubbling up to the edge of his mind and were spinning out of control. He fought to appear calm on the outside while inside he was near panic. How could Tony, after getting to know him for only one evening, come so close to figuring out his deepest, darkest secret, one that he had successfully hid from the world for so long? Staring at Tony, Harm tried desperately to think of a way out of the direction their conversation had taken, but he could practically see the gears turning in Tony's brain. Other images flooded his mind, unbidden, and he tried to stamp them down.
Tony met Harm's eyes with his own piercing gaze when, suddenly, a wide smile broke loose as a realization dawned on him. "You're thinking about what I said, aren't you?"
"Huh?" Harm looked bewildered, yet guilty at the same time, like he had been caught with his hand in a cookie jar.
"You're picturing me naked, doing it with a guy. Maybe you're even wondering what it would be like, you and me, getting all hot and sweaty, a little man on man action," Tony chuckled, his tone more devilish than accusatory.
"No I'm not!" Harm protested vehemently, eyes wide with alarm.
"Yeah ... you are," Tony tossed back smugly. He moved quickly across the sofa, sitting close to Harm without touching him. "Don't be afraid to admit there's an attraction here. I can't be the only one who feels it. Tell me I'm not wrong, Harm," Tony pressed on persuasively, getting a little closer, invading Harm's personal space. "Come on, just between the two of us, your secret is safe with me. It's all right." Tony placed a hand on the nervous man's arm, hoping to reassure, knowing Harm was bigger and stronger and could easily push him away or even hurt him.
"No! It's not all right," Harm flinched, his breath rasping. Since he was already sitting against the corner of the couch, he didn't pull away, merely pressing further back into the cushions. "You don't understand; we can't have this conversation ... I can't think about this." Unable to meet Tony's intense gaze any longer, Harm looked down at his hands in his lap.
"Why not? Help me to understand," Tony's tone was softer now. Harm seemed so conflicted that Tony was afraid he would bolt. "Come on, don't be upset. You do know nothing will go past this room, right? Just talk to me."
Harm sighed heavily, surrendering to Tony's insistent powers of persuasion. "I don't know where to begin," he started haltingly, glancing over at Tony who had turned to face him and had relaxed with one shoulder against the back of the sofa.
"Say whatever you want," Tony coaxed him gently. "I'm a good listener and I promise I won't judge."
Harm gave a tiny smirk in acknowledgement. There was a long pause as he tried to collect his thoughts. "Okay, okay, you weren't wrong," he began. "I *was* imagining just for a moment what it would be like, but I can't afford to have those kinds of thoughts."
Tony listened attentively while Harm told his story. The reserved man hesitantly explained that since he was young, he knew that he wanted to be in the Navy more than anything. Everything he did was to achieve that goal. His career was everything to him and he did what he had to protect it, even if that meant denying a part of himself. Over the years, Harm had avoided any risky behavior and resolutely squashed any thoughts or urges regarding another man. As far as anyone knew, he presented an image of being strictly into women. He had even managed to convince himself that he was just that, as he had had several satisfying relationships with beautiful, wonderful women, at least while they lasted. He had never been able to make a commitment to settle down with one for life.
"So, let me get this straight. Are you telling me you've never actually been with a guy?" Tony asked with honest curiosity.
"Well, not since I joined the Navy," Harm replied. Tony gave him an expectant look that told him that wasn't going to be a sufficient answer. "Before that, I ... um ... there was this one time. God, I was just a kid." Harm ran his hand nervously through his short, dark hair and stared off into space.
"What happened?" Tony asked gently.
"I was fifteen and my best friend was a year older than me. We were inseparable, did everything together, and could talk about anything. I looked up to him; guess you could say I worshipped him. One day, when we were alone, he wanted to show me something. I was curious about sex and we started experimenting, you know, just fooling around. It was mostly touching and then kissing. Things got out of control, more touching, a lot of rubbing... He wanted to fuck me. I got scared. I knew that what we were doing was wrong and I put a stop to it. He got mad; called me a baby and told me to let him know when I was ready to be a big boy. I guess he was frustrated. He put on his clothes and stormed out. That was the end of our friendship. He made me believe that I was the immature one. Anyway, I felt so guilty about what we had done, that I decided it would never happen again. I put that whole incident behind me and buckled down to prepare to become a pilot like my father."
Harm glanced over at Tony, who was still sitting too close for comfort. "I've never told anyone about that ... until now."
Tony leaned in and placed his hand on Harm's shoulder. "Sounds to me like he was an immature jerk. Lucky for you, he didn't force you go farther than what you were comfortable with." Tony began rubbing soothing circles across Harm's shoulder.
"True. I sure as hell wasn't ready for *that*," Harm responded with a shudder. "Just the thought of it still freaks me out. Not that I spend time thinking about any of this anyway, at least I try not to, but I definitely don't think I could ever do *that*."
Tony had to choke back a chuckle of amusement. He found it endearing that Harm couldn't even say the words and he had to wonder if Harm was a bit of a prude when it came to sex. He tried to put the modest man at ease.
"Don't worry about it, okay? Anal penetration doesn't have to be the end all, or even a requirement, between two men. There are other mutually satisfying ways to express feelings of desire or lust ... or love," Tony said reassuringly. "In fact, I'm really not into getting fucked up the ass, either. The first time I bottomed was also the last."
"Really?" Harm eyes widened. "W-what happened?"
Tony shook his head and his voice got quieter. "You could say that my first time did not go well. I was with someone I thought I could trust. He convinced me to try it, said it would be great, that there was nothing like it. He tried to prepare me, took his time, but he was big. I wanted to please him, but it hurt. I mean it really hurt a lot, so I begged him to stop. He kept saying it would get better and to just relax. I wanted him out of me, but I couldn't get away. I was flat on my stomach and his full weight on top of me pinned me down. By the time I started hollering for him to get off me, he had lost all control and fucked me raw until he came. I finally managed to stagger to the bathroom where I realized I was bleeding. Then, I puked my guts out." Tony paused at the memory.
"God, Tony, that's awful!" Harm looked horrified. "That guy should have stopped when you said stop. He basically ... he raped you."
"Let's just say it was not a fun experience. I had allowed things to go too far to turn back. Ever since then, I've never had the desire or trusted anyone enough to try it again. Like I said, I'm very careful. Hell, I don't even top unless I'm sure my partner really wants me to. Believe me, I would never cause pain or do anything to anyone that they didn't totally want." Tony gave Harm a meaningful look. "Now you know my story, too."
Harm wondered how old Tony had been when that happened. "I'm sorry you went through such a painful ordeal," he said sympathetically.
"I got over it, learned from it, moved on," Tony shrugged, waving a hand nonchalantly through the air. "Now that we've both shared our less than stellar past, can we move the subject to something less maudlin?"
"Like what?"
"Oh, I can think of several topics," Tony grinned.
"I'm sure. You never seem to be at a loss for words," Harm teased, rolling his eyes. "Other than when you're eating or sleeping, is there any other time when you're not talking so much?"
"Uh, yeah, there is ... when I'm kissing." With that, Tony took a big chance and moved quickly towards Harm. Before Harm could react, Tony had his hands cupping Harm's face and he swooped in to press their lips together. Tony fully expected to be knocked to the floor by the larger man, but all Harm did was squawk in startled surprise. Tony nibbled, licked and sucked on Harm's lips trying to gain entrance until Harm suddenly managed to pull his head back with a gasp. Tony opened his eyes to find a pair of intense eyes staring back at him. Harm's pupils were dilated, darkening his eyes to almost an aquamarine, and his nostrils were flared as he caught his breath.
"What are you doing?" Harm asked shakily as he focused on Tony's bright, expressive, green eyes, gazing at him from mere inches away.
"Um, we were doing so well at the male bonding thing, I thought I'd show you how nice the fringe benefits can be." Tony looked down at Harm's very kissable lips, and moving slowly this time, he leaned in and leisurely kissed him again. Tony snaked his hand around the back of Harm's neck, holding him in place.
"Mmphff." Harm's attempt at a verbal protest was swallowed by Tony's busy mouth.
Tony took the opportunity of Harm's lips parting to push his tongue between them and thoroughly explore Harm's mouth, tasting the wine from earlier. Lust slammed through Tony as he felt Harm begin to change from stiff and unyielding to a passive acceptance of his oral assault. Tony was encouraged by the progress until he felt Harm's large hands gripping his upper arms. Tony had no choice but to release Harm's lips as he was pushed away, leaving them both a bit breathless.
"M-m-m-m, you taste good, want you so much," Tony said, his voice dropping suggestively low. He found himself to be extremely attracted to the handsome officer and he desperately wanted more.
"God, Tony, please don't do this to me," Harm whispered, looking stricken. Tony's sensual kiss had sent a shiver through him that went straight to his groin. As much as he wanted what Tony was offering, he couldn't allow himself to lose control over the situation.
Tony, who had been nearly in Harm's lap, backed away to put some space between them. "I'm sorry," he said, crestfallen. His instincts were usually pretty good, but now he began to wonder if he had been mistaken. "I shouldn't have assumed ... I thought maybe ... you were attracted to me, too ..."
Harm stopped him. "It's not that. I just ... can't," he tried to explain. "It's too dangerous; I can't take the risk."
"I can understand that. I have a reputation and a career to protect, too," Tony said. He was exasperated and determined to try once more. "So, the only reason you're not allowing yourself some pleasure is the fear of someone finding out."
Harm merely nodded and hung his head.
"Harm, look at me," Tony demanded, as he moved up close to Harm again. "I swear to you. No one ... Will ... Know. You don't need to be alone, to feel lonely in this world. You're a good man and you deserve some happiness, to connect with another human being, to feel joy. Come on, Harm, please let me be the one to give that to you. Take what I'm offering. Let me make you feel alive. Please? I'm begging you to let go and take a chance. I promise you won't regret it." Tony gave his best puppy dog expression as he hopped down to the floor on his knees in front of Harm. "Please, Harm, what more can I say to convince you that you're safe with me? I'm groveling at your feet here, in case you haven't noticed."
Harm laughed then, breaking the tension. "Shit, Tony, you're impossible," he said, shaking his head. All the young man's cajoling was wearing down Harm's resistance.
"So, it's working then?" Tony grinned, placing both hands on Harm's knees to boost himself up off the floor. On his way up to stand between Harm's knees, he had taken a quick glance at the impressive bulge between Harm's legs, easily outlined by the soft, well-worn sweats. He smiled down at Harm, who was still looking a little ill at ease. "Hey, mind if I use your bathroom?" Tony asked, looking around.
"That way," Harm pointed.
Tony returned to find Harm standing in the kitchen, getting a drink of water. The lights in the living room had been turned off, leaving the soft glow of the three candles on the dining room table as the only illumination in the large, open space. Tony noticed a pillow and a folded blanket on one end of the sofa and caught Harm stifling a yawn.
"Getting tired?" Tony asked, coming up behind Harm.
Harm turned around. "A little. It is pretty late, but that's okay; I don't have anything planned for the morning." He thought Tony still looked amazingly bright-eyed and alert.
"Good." Tony studied Harm intently. "Look, there's no need to be nervous, man. I won't do anything you're not ready for. In fact, we don't have to do anything at all, so just relax. It's all good."
"Thanks, Tony," Harm sighed with relief. "Excuse me; my turn." He slid past Tony and disappeared into the bathroom. Tony wandered around, wondering what to do next. He was losing hope that he'd be able to break through Harm's defenses. Suddenly, he realized that he wanted to show Harm comfort, caring, and affection, more than he wanted to seduce him. It became important to him to not screw this up and scare the man off.
Tony looked over at the couch and resigned himself to the probability that he would end up sleeping there alone. Needing to get comfortable, he stopped near the dining room table to undress. He took off his belt and hung it over a chair. Then, he pulled his shirt out of his pants and began to unbutton the cuffs and the front.
Harm came out at that point, caught off-guard to see Tony with his shirt hanging open and about to take off his slacks.
"Thought I should let you get some sleep," said Tony.
"You gonna be able to sleep on that?" Harm motioned toward the sofa.
"I'll probably be up for a little bit longer. I'm still kind of wired. You?"
"Uh, I could probably sleep ... maybe." Harm looked unsure and a tad uncomfortable.
Tony stepped into Harm's personal space, searching his eyes. "Listen, I don't want it to be weird between us. Are we okay?"
"Yeah," Harm nodded and he sounded like he meant it.
"Well, I guess I'll say good night then," Tony paused for a moment. When Harm didn't move either, he held his arms out to Harm, not touching him. "Would it be all right if I just-?"
Harm nodded again and Tony closed the gap between them, wrapping his arms around Harm to press his hands against the broad back. Stretching a little, he was able to rest his chin on Harm's shoulder.
Harm stiffened for a moment and then, to Tony's surprise, he returned the hug, his large hands rubbing across Tony's back.
"M-m-m, feels so nice to be held like this," Tony murmured into Harm's ear. Not wanting this moment to end, he didn't let go. When Harm didn't let go either, Tony sighed and began nuzzling against the side of Harm's neck.
They were standing toe to toe, their bodies locked together in their embrace, each taking in the scent of the other. Tony was getting hard and he was certain