Minor Differences

Minor Differences
by Setcheti

Category: Missing Scene/Epilogue
Spoilers: POV, Forever In A Day, Legacy
Rated: FRT
Acknowledgment: Many thanks to Cat for checking the story for holes so I could post it.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Stargate or the archaeologist--if I did, we'd be on Abydos right now.
Author's Note: This little bunny started out as a gratuitous Danny-whumping tag for POV and (perhaps unfortunately) evolved into a four-point jackalope while I was in the process of writing it--unintentional, I assure you, but it happens to the best of us. <g>

Jack walked down the quiet corridor and entered the infirmary with a barely masked sigh. Right now all he wanted was to be alone and sort out everything that had happened in the past 36 hours, but it just didn't feel right not to check on everyone and he'd already accounted for Carter and Teal'c. One to go, he thought. Not that I know why I bother; he'll just say he's fine and then ask if I'm okay.

It was really that last question that Jack was hoping to avoid. Hopefully Doc's already got him knocked out with painkillers so I can just look and leave. But a quick glance around told him that the infirmary was empty. She let him go? Relieved but puzzled, he walked around to Janet Frasier's office and stuck his head in the door. "Doc?"

She was doing paperwork and barely spared him a glance. "Colonel? Is there a problem?"

"No, just checking up on Daniel; but I guess he must be okay if you let him go already."

"What?!" Frasier's head snapped up, staring at him. "What do you mean? He hasn't been in here…what happened to him?"

"He got zatted," O'Neill said casually. "On the other side of the mirror. He didn't come down here?"

The doctor shook her head, visibly pushing down her irritation. "He's probably hiding out in his office and hoping no one will think to tell on him. Was it the same kind of zat gun we have here?"

"There might have been minor differences, but it looked pretty much the same to me." O'Neill shrugged. "He got back up mostly on his own afterwards. I'll look in on him before I take off, though; you can read him the riot act tomorrow, okay?"

She nodded, picking up her pen again. "Oh, I won't just read it to him, Colonel; I'll make him write it one hundred times on the blackboard too."

Jack managed a grin. "Make sure he writes it in English; I'm sure you remember that incident with the 'notes' he took during Maybourne's security briefing." He left the doctor chuckling and walked back to the labs, hoping again to find his friend asleep and unable to ask him questions.

The lights were on in Jackson's office, but to Jack's relief the man himself was asleep with his head on his desk, the fingers of one hand loosely cradling an aspirin bottle. The colonel breathed a sigh of relief and backed out as quietly as he'd come in, flipping off the light as he did. Okay, now that everyone's taken care of I can go home…

…see if there's anything good on TV…

…have a few beers and try not to think about…

Jack stopped dead in his tracks, turned around and began walking back toward Daniel's office, moving more quickly than before. He wasn't so quiet this time, throwing open the door and flipping the light back on. Aspirin had spilled out of the bottle lying in the limp hand and was scattered across both desk and floor. He quickly moved around the desk and reached down to check the pulse under his friend's jaw, noting the skewed glasses and the thin trickle of blood running from his nose. His pulse was racing.

Jack knelt beside the desk and patted Daniel's cheek. "Daniel, wake up. Wake up!" A soft groan answered him. "Come on, open your eyes. Look at me, Daniel."

One eyelid fluttered, then cracked open to reveal a sliver of red-tinged blue. "J'ck?"

"Can you sit up, Daniel?" The eye closed again. "Daniel?"

"Don' wan' to. Hurts."

Jack was getting worried. "Your head?" A minuscule nod. "Okay, what if I help?"

"'Kay." Jack carefully grasped the younger man's shoulders and slowly sat him up in the chair. Daniel didn't lift his head from his chest. "Up?"

"Yeah, you're up. Raise your head for me, okay? Let me take a look…" Slowly, Daniel lifted his head, then cried out in pain and dropped it again, whimpering. "Or maybe not." Jack considered calling the infirmary and decided not to wait. "Okay Danny, we're going for a little walk. You just keep your head down and your eyes closed and let me do all the work, okay?" Not waiting for agreement, Jack slung his friend's left arm around his shoulders and pulled him to his feet, wrapping his right arm firmly around Daniel's waist and trying to ignore the low moan of pain that broke from his lips.

"Jaack?"

"What Danny?"

"Hurts, Jack. Wanna lay down now."

"In a minute, just keep walking." Jack thought the walk to the infirmary had never taken so long. As soon as they reached the door he bellowed for Janet, who popped out of her office with a startled oath. "I found him…passed out on his desk," Jack grunted. "He says his head hurts too much for him to lift it up."

Frasier guided them to the nearest bed and supported Daniel's head while Jack carefully lowered him off his feet; in spite of the care they were taking, the archaeologist whimpered and moaned again with pain as they helped him lie down and a few tears forced themselves out from under his tightly shut eyelids. His face was ghastly pale, the only color being the colorfully swollen bruise on his cheek and the bright ribbon of blood trickling down the side of his face. "Oh Daniel," the doctor said softly. "Daniel, can you open your eyes?"

He very obviously made an effort. "No."

"That's okay," Janet reassured him, but Jack could tell she was alarmed. "Does anything else hurt besides your head?"

"Ev'whr," was the slurred response. "Ache all over."

"Did you take anything for it?" She was taking his carotid pulse with one hand and gently palpating his abdomen with the other, carefully watching his face. "Daniel, did you take anything for the pain?"

"Asp'rn." A weak snort, followed immediately by a pained wince. "Didn't w'rk."

"The aspirin bottle was still in his hand, Doc," Jack informed her quietly. "Spilled all over the place; it looked like he passed out before he got the lid back on."

Frasier's lips thinned and she shook her head, but her voice stayed calm and reassuring. "Daniel, just try to relax; I'm going to go get you something for the pain. I'll be right back, okay?"

"'Kay, Janet." Daniel tried to nod and winced again. "S'rry."

"It's okay, Daniel, you couldn't have known. Don't try to move." Frasier grabbed Jack's arm and almost dragged him out of the room as she hurried over to her small 'pharmacy' and began scanning the shelves. She didn't look at him. "Colonel O'Neill," she said in a crisp, cool voice. "Would you mind telling me who beat Dr. Jackson up?"

"A bunch of Jaffa," he said, surprised at the tinge of accusation in the question. "He was guarding the Mirror, trying to get it open on our reality again."

"Were you there?"

"No, I was with Kawalski. Teal'c was…oh, wait, no he wasn't; he was knocked out when we got there."

"I see." Her tone didn't change, but her back stiffened. "What about Daniel? What condition was he in when you got there?"

"He was on his knees with a gun to his head," Jack told her, feeling his irritation start to build. "What's with all the questions, Doc?"

Frasier ignored him. "So he got zatted at close range?"

"Yes-no! No, that wasn't when he got zatted, that happened later when they dragged us in to see Apophis. But yeah, the Jaffa that pulled the trigger had it right at the base of his neck." He saw her hand tighten on the counter. "What?"

She didn't turn around, but Jack could tell she was talking through clenched teeth. "So you're telling me, Colonel, that the most vulnerable member of your team was attacked by multiple armed assailants and then hit with a zat blast at close range somewhere in the vicinity of his brainstem and cervical spine and you…" Words failed her. Gathering the double handful of supplies she'd pulled from the shelves, Janet faced him with a disgusted expression and then brushed past him out of the small room. "Go get the general, Colonel; once I'm done with Daniel I need to talk to him about this. The two of you can wait in my office."

Jack's mouth dropped open. "The general…Frasier, what the hell is going on? What's the matter with Daniel?!"

She froze; disgust turned to icy contempt. "Minor differences, Colonel," she almost sneered and then kept walking.

It took Jack almost half an hour to track down the general and bring him back to the infirmary, and they waited another uncomfortable forty-five minutes for Frasier to return to her office; uncomfortable because of the bustle from the other side of the closed door that told them the medical staff was busy--and Daniel was the only patient they had. By the time the doctor opened the door the general almost shot to his feet. "Doctor Frasier?" Hammond said anxiously. "How is he?"

"Resting more or less comfortably," Janet replied tiredly. "We got the internal hemorrhaging stopped before it became too serious and he should start to recover in a few days." She raised a warning hand to temper his relief. "They won't be happy days; he has tubes stuck in almost every orifice on his body and he'll have to be monitored constantly because we're already walking a fine line with the medication thanks to his allergies. But he should be all right after that."

"Do we know what caused it?"

"Yes," she sighed. "Apparently the zat guns from the other reality operate on a slightly different frequency than ours; I'd say offhand that theirs are calibrated to cause actual physical damage to the victim, not just pain and momentary incapacitation like we're used to. While ours cause a temporary 'short circuit' across the nervous system, reminiscent of a seizure, theirs set off an electrical chain reaction in whatever part of the body the blast impacts and which gradually spreads out if left untreated. There was no way Daniel could have know what was happening; as a matter of fact, he probably thought at the time that the blast had barely affected him at all, which would explain why he didn't come down to get checked out. There would have been none of the residual muscle tremors, disorientation or blurred vision that are the usual aftermath of a zat blast."

Hammond visibly relaxed, but his expression stayed serious. "But he's going to be all right, correct?" Janet nodded. "Then what was it you wanted to talk to me about, Doctor?"

Frasier sat down on a corner of her desk, her own expression grim. "I think we have a problem with SG1, General." She cut off Jack's indignant splutter with a look. "Colonel O'Neill is obviously dealing with some…personal issues here. I blame myself for not seeing how bad it had gotten before things went this far."

Hammond frowned, glancing at O'Neill. "Just what are you saying, Dr. Frasier? Do you think the colonel is somehow responsible for Dr. Jackson's condition?"

"Not entirely," Janet said with a sigh. "But if Colonel O'Neill had been doing his job, Daniel would be sitting up in bed right now complaining about having to spend the night in the infirmary for observation and bribing my nurses to bring him chocolate and books. As it is, the colonel's negligence could have killed him."

Jack paled slightly and swallowed hard. "But, I didn't think…"

"Exactly," the angry doctor interrupted. "You didn't think. Your team is your responsibility, Colonel-a responsibility you used to take to heart, sometimes even too much to heart. But now…" She blew out her anger with a sigh. "Jack, I've watched you pull away from Daniel ever since his wife died--no, actually, since the incident with the Limvris chamber--but I thought you could work it out yourself so I stayed out of it; I can't do that anymore. Yes, I admit, you probably saved his life by going to check on him, but his life might not have been in danger if you hadn't been avoiding him in the first place-you admitted that you'd noticed the difference between their zat guns and ours, and yet you waited almost five hours to check on it? I'm pulling medical rank on you, Jack; I'm ordering you to see Dr. McKensie for counseling, and your team won't be allowed on active duty again until he clears you."

O'Neill opened his mouth…and his protest died on his lips when he saw Hammond's expression. "Smart decision, Colonel," the general rumbled. "A smart-assed comment wouldn't sit too well with me right now. What about Dr. Jackson, Doctor? Does he need to see McKensie too?"

Janet flinched. "I…don't think that would be a good idea, General, and Daniel seems to be working through his grief just fine on his own-almost entirely on his own, unfortunately, due to the 'minor differences' he's been having with his team leader." Jack twitched, and she looked almost immediately contrite. "I'm sorry, Colonel, that was uncalled for."

"No, I probably deserved it," Jack said heavily. He stood up, feeling every one of his forty-nine years. "Can I see Daniel before I go?"

Frasier nodded her approval. "You can go look in on him while I call McKensie to let him know you're coming--I warn you, though, we have Daniel heavily sedated and he won't know you're there."

"That's okay; I'll know I was there," Jack said softly. The general nodded his dismissal and the demoralized colonel slid quietly out of the office.

Hammond visibly deflated once he was gone. "Janet?"

The doctor sighed and perched on the edge of her desk. "I don't know, General, but I'm worried. When I pushed him for details about what had happened, he seemed so…unconcerned. I mean, apparently in those two hours they were in the other reality Daniel was attacked and subdued by armed Jaffa while he was alone and then had a zat blast impact the base of his skull at close range…"

"WHAT!"

Janet grimaced. "I'm guessing that didn't make it into the report, huh?"

The older man shook his head. "Not the verbal one; he hasn't given me a written report yet, and I'm wondering now just what it will say."

"We may never know what it would have said," the doctor replied grimly. "But what worries me more…General, I'm afraid this problem may not stop with the colonel; Teal'c would definitely have noticed the difference in the guns and he must have been there when Daniel got zatted, but he didn't tell anyone either. I'm betting the security tapes will show that Dr. Jackson went straight to his office after they got back and has been there alone ever since. And when the colonel did start looking for him, he did so after he'd checked on Sam and Teal'c."

Hammond's eyebrows went up. "But Major Carter wasn't…"

Janet sighed. "Exactly."

Jack made his way slowly toward the back of the infirmary, his mind spinning. Had he really been negligent with Daniel's life? He couldn't remember seeing any reason for concern after anything that had happened earlier; after all, it was only Daniel…

The colonel stopped dead in his tracks, sucking in a horrified breath. Only Daniel? Where the hell had that come from? Daniel was… He suddenly had trouble thinking about the man who'd served with him on SG1 for the past two years, the memories dulled under a smothering blanket of apathy. Shaking his head, he walked over to the corner that served as Janet's ICU in the infirmary and slowly pulled back the concealing curtain.

Hmm, she hadn't been exaggerating about the tubes--he'd noticed lately that people tended to exaggerate the severity of things that happened to the archaeologist, and he hadn't expected this to be any different. Of course, all the equipment was probably just a precaution, just Janet being her usual overly thorough self. Daniel looked pale, but then everybody looked pale against the sterile backdrop of the infirmary--and Daniel had such fair skin to begin with. Satisfied that nothing was really wrong, Jack let the curtain drop back into place and casually strolled back out of the infirmary, trying to remember if he needed to stop and pick up some more beer on his way home.

Later that evening, Janet had just returned to her office after checking on her patient when the phone rang. "Frasier," she answered it tiredly…but weariness turned to shock when she heard what the voice on the other end had to say. "He what? When?" She sank down into her desk chair, staring at nothing. "Yes, I did," she said numbly. "He asked to look in on Dr. Jackson and then he was supposed to head straight to your office…oh god, this is bad." She took a deep breath. "No, I'll take care of it, Dr. McKensie…no, I don't think he's a danger to anyone except Daniel, and then only indirectly. I'll let you know as soon as I know anything more, all right?…Okay, thanks, I'll get back to you first thing in the morning." She replaced the receiver in its cradle and stared at it for a full minute before picking it back up and dialing. "General, I think we have a much bigger problem on our hands than I'd anticipated…"

Nine hours and dozens of tests and theories later, Janet had solved the mystery. "It had to have been Machello's little Gou'ald-killing devices, General," she told the grim-faced man who had come to her office before going to his own. "The hormonal alteration was so slight that it easily fell within the range of normal variation and no one ever noticed a thing; and it increased so gradually that the difference didn't register at all for the same reason."

"So this wasn't a psychological problem?"

"Not at all," she sighed. "It finally hit me that the one physically connecting factor between Sam, Jack and Teal'c was that, in one way or another, they've all been host to a Gou'ald. And that was when I started to wonder, if the devices were so successful at destroying the parasite why are the Gou'ald still a problem? You'd think that the universe would be free of them by now, right? Unless of course the Gou'ald came up with a defense against the technology that kept it from being so effective…"

Hammond's eyes widened. "You mean they figured out a way to fight it?"

"Not exactly, more of a way to keep it from spreading." The doctor picked up two files and handed them to the general. "Hormones affect the brain, and therefore thought and action. The devices cause a significant hormonal shift of their own in a non-infected carrier, and apparently the Gou'ald found a way to alter their own chemistry so that a host would instinctively distance itself from anyone with that particular hormonal signature." She saw his confused look and shook her head. "It has to do with pheromones, General; little chemical signals we constantly send each other without being aware of it. We still don't know too much about the subject, but we know that they exist and they can have a powerful effect on interpersonal interaction."

"So you're telling me that the rest of SG1 have basically turned their backs on Dr. Jackson because of these chemicals?"

"Essentially, yes." She looked troubled. "General, this also explains why they let us lock Daniel up during the original incident without a fight, without even seeming to be overly concerned about the whole thing." She shook her head. "It isn't their fault; as a matter of fact, the fact that they're even going through the motions of showing any kind of concern for him at all shows how deep their connection really goes. From what I can tell from the test results, the initial apathy would have fairly quickly become outright aggression if they weren't fighting it every step of the way."

Hammond finished glancing through the folders and laid them back on the desk with a sigh. "So can you fix it?"

"In theory, once I inject them with the correct counter-hormones the effect should be almost instantaneous…but that brings up another problem." She took a deep breath, catching and holding his eyes. "It's been months since this all started. SG1 has always been close; they're practically family. General, what would your reaction be if you suddenly became aware that you'd turned your back on a close family member during what had to be one of the most traumatic periods in his life?"

"My god," the general whispered, slumping back in his chair. "This could destroy them…especially Colonel O'Neill. What does Dr. McKensie say?"

Janet's jaw tightened. "Dr. McKensie says he doesn't recommend the therapy," she admitted. "He believes we should leave well enough alone…and he suggests that you pull Daniel off of SG1 immediately, if not out of the SGC all together."

"What?!"

"From a purely psychological standpoint, he's right," she said with evident distaste. "From a military perspective as well; we're talking about risking severe psychological trauma to three valuable military personnel for the sake of one civilian's 'hurt feelings'--McKensie's words, not mine. Dr. McKensie feels that Daniel is psychologically unstable anyway and everyone's interests would be best served by just taking him out of the picture; he also told me to inform you that in his opinion Daniel would present a grave security risk to the SGC and that 'suitable arrangements' could be made to negate the risk while retaining your access to the unique knowledge he possesses."

Hammond looked sickened, and his hands clenched into fists. "And your opinion, Doctor?"

"In my opinion, you should make 'suitable arrangements' to get rid of Dr. McKensie; tossing him through the wormhole would be my first suggestion." Janet shook her head. "General, I think before we make any decisions at all we should ask SG1 what they think. Carter and Teal'c are already here in the infirmary, and I called Colonel O'Neill and told him that the three of them had been exposed to something--I'm expecting him to come roaring in here any minute now." As if on cue, a loud, worried voice was heard calling the doctor's name; Janet smiled. "If you'd come with me, General, I'll see if they want to consent to the treatment--just let me do all the talking and whatever you do, don't mention Daniel."

Mystified, Hammond followed the petite doctor out into the infirmary proper and watched as she approached the three affected SG1 members with a concerned smile. "Oh good, Jack, you're here; I wanted to wait to discuss this with all three of you."

"What did we get into, Doc?" O'Neill wanted to know. "I feel fine."

"So do we, Janet," Sam chimed in with a nod of agreement from Teal'c. "You did all those tests but no one would give us any answers. Please, tell us what's going on."

"A hormonal imbalance," the doctor said without preamble. "The three of you were all infected by an agent that initiated a slight but progressive change in your endocrine systems. The change was so minuscule at first that it was all but undetectable."

"I guess," Jack snorted. "So I take it this is getting worse? Why haven't we noticed anything?"

"You may have," Janet said seriously. "But it's very possible that you can't remember it; hormones can have a powerful effect on brain function."

Tealc's eyes narrowed. "I sense there is something you are concealing from us, Doctor Frasier. Is there a treatment for this affliction?"

"Yes, there is," Janet answered quietly. "Once we knew what the problem was, then from a medical standpoint the solution was fairly simple. But you're right, Teal'c, there is another problem…and I can't tell you what it is. All I can tell you is that the cure will more than likely produce some fairly severe emotional trauma in each of you which you won't suffer otherwise; so with that in mind I have to ask you if you want the cure or not."

It was Jack's turn to get suspicious. "What happens if we don't?"

The doctor shook her head. "Nothing."

That surprised them. "Nothing?" Sam asked, puzzled. "I thought you said this was affecting brain function?"

"It is," Janet conceded. "But it isn't something that you can't live with; as a matter of fact, if we don't treat it you'll never notice the difference. And it won't have any effect on your careers, now or later."

"I don't like this," Jack said to the room at large. His eyes strayed to the far end of the infirmary and then slid away again dismissively. He looked at his two teammates--who seemed to be just as confused as he was--and then at Hammond, whose face gave away nothing beyond a deep concern. Jack forced himself to look back at the closed curtains and frowned. "Does Daniel have this too?"

"No," Janet responded quickly--too quickly? "We're not talking about Dr. Jackson, we're talking about the three of you."

"What does Dr. McKensie say?" Sam wanted to know. "I mean, no offense, Janet, but brain chemistry and emotional dysfunction are his field of expertise, not yours. Why isn't he here?"

"Because we believe this decision should be yours to make," Hammond rumbled before the doctor could say anything. "SG1, I know this is a tough decision, and we're asking you to make it blind…but you have to decide now."

Janet's head snapped around; she read the fear in the older man's eyes--the knowledge that he might need every last possible minute to find a way to save Daniel Jackson from McKensie's 'arrangements' if SG1chose not to be cured--and nodded slowly before turning back to her three potential patients. "He's right. I hate to have to rush you, but…"

"…But you're going to anyway," Jack said sarcastically. "Yeah, we get the idea, now or never. Can you at least tell us what McKensie recommended? Not that I put any great faith in the man's opinion, but he's been right before." To his surprise Frasier flinched, and suddenly Jack knew. "Wait a minute, this does have something to do with…"

"Don't say it!" the doctor snapped sharply, startling him. "Not another word, O'Neill! I want you to make this decision; I don't want your…problem to make it for you." She reigned in her agitation with an effort. "Dr. McKensie didn't even want me to offer you the choice; he said to leave it alone, not even to tell you."

Jack and Sam looked shocked, but Teal'c just nodded. "But you did not 'leave it alone'," he said thoughtfully. "And I believe that, had you agreed with the doctor, you would have followed his recommendation. So obviously you are of the opinion that we should be cured."

Frasier said nothing. Sam shook her head. "I don't pretend I have any idea what's going on here…but I don't like the idea of not knowing what was going on for the rest of my life. I vote we get cured and find out."

"I agree with Major Carter," Teal'c said. "And I trust Dr. Frasier's opinion, even if she herself does not."

"I trust her too," Jack added slowly, mentally poking at the fog that had rolled in around the conclusion he'd come to moments earlier and deciding he didn't like it. "I feel like I'm missing something important here, and I don't think that's a feeling I want to 'get used to'. So, I guess it's unanimous, Doc. What do we have to do?"

The doctor gave him a searching look and then walked quickly over to the trauma cart and took a small tray with three filled syringes off of it. "All I have to do is give you the counter-hormones," she said with evident relief. "The effect should be nearly instantaneous--General, would you mind staying to help me?"

Hammond caught her pointed glance in O'Neill's direction and understood. "Certainly, Doctor," he answered, moving closer to the man who would doubtless need the most support.

Jack registered the exchange and his eyes widened; he swallowed hard. "Uh…do me first?"

Janet smiled at him. "Of course, Colonel." She pushed up the sleeve of his black t-shirt and ran an alcohol pad over his skin before plunging the needle into the muscle of his upper arm. Jack winced, but it was over quickly and then she was moving on to Major Carter. "Okay, Sam, your turn."

Jack waited, not feeling any different except for the pain in his arm. He kept himself from rubbing at the injection site and let his gaze drift idly across the room as Janet moved on to inject Teal'c, wondering…"Holy SHIT! DANIEL!"

Hammond grabbed his shoulders and shook him, forcing him to make eye contact. "Jack! Jack, it's okay! It wasn't your fault!" The self-loathing he saw in the man's brown eyes shook him to the core. "Jack, listen to me, you couldn't help it; it was a reaction triggered by those Gou'ald-killing machines. There was no way any of you could have known what was going on." For some reason, that got O'Neill's attention; his mouth moved but no sound came out. "What was that? Come on, Jack, talk to me."

"M-minor dif-differences," Jack whispered, staring over the general's shoulder at the curtained-off bed. "Minor differences, not enough for anyone to n-notice. Not enough for anyone to c-care about…"

Janet shook her head, holding tightly to a softly sobbing Sam. "Jack…that's exactly why no one caught on to this earlier; the differences in all of your behavior were so minor that no one could have picked up on them at all until recently…"

"Except Daniel," Jack corrected her harshly. "I'm pretty sure Daniel picked up on it, don't you think?" His eyes abruptly filled with tears. "Oh god, we let them lock him up!" He crumpled in on himself, not resisting Hammond's comforting embrace, and his voice dropped to a whisper. "We let them lock him in a rubber room and we just left him there…."

Teal'c stared at nothing, wide eyes filled with shame. "I killed his wife," he said quietly, drawing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. "At the time I believed there to be no other choice, but now…I am not certain. Perhaps I simply did what was expedient, as I did not have Daniel Jackson's best interests in mind at the time."

"Daniel forgave you, though," Sam corrected him, lifting her head from Janet's shoulder and sniffing. "He said Sha'uri wanted him to, that she knew you had to do it. But god, she died and we left him to deal with it all alone…"

"Hey, he's okay," Janet soothed her gently. "You'll all be here for him now, and that's what matters. Daniel will understand…"

"Daniel always understands," Jack interrupted unhappily, swiping at his eyes. "Everything always comes down to Daniel understanding, to Daniel forgiving, to Daniel getting the short end of the stick and having to deal with it with a goddamned smile on his face. And I almost got him killed this last time, you said so yourself--only now I remember not caring what happened to him. If Kawalski hadn't been there…" The brown eyes suddenly hardened, shifting between Janet and Hammond. "Wait a minute, what were you going to do about Daniel if we hadn't…"

The room became deathly silent. Janet swallowed hard and looked at the general, who sighed. "I would have thought of something," he said quietly. "Maybe sent the boy back to Abydos, to be with what was left of his family; I wouldn't have let McKensie lock him up again, I can promise you that."

"Dr. McKensie wanted to…oh my god," Sam whispered. "And he didn't want us to know what was going on? He told you not to tell us…ever?"

"That son of a bitch," Jack said. "General…"

Hammond patted his shoulder. "I'm on it, Colonel." He took a good look at the younger man and smiled. "O'Neill, I'm putting SG1on medical leave until you tell Dr. Frasier that you're ready to go back to work--all four of you. And if you need to talk to someone, my door is always open."

"I…appreciate that, General," Jack replied. "Thanks."

"Anytime, Colonel. Now if you'll all excuse me, I have a personnel transfer to push through, and I wouldn't want to keep the good doctor hanging around any longer than necessary."

Jack watched him go, then stood up on shaky legs and walked over to Teal'c. "Big guy, you holding it together?"

"I will be fine, O'Neill," the Jaffa said in a hollow voice. "But it will take time." He cast a wary look at Frasier. "May we…see Daniel Jackson at this time?"

"Go get three chairs," Janet told him, waving toward the curtains. "He's still sedated, but I'm sure you'll all want to be there when he wakes up--and he'll sure be glad to see you, too." She straightened her now damp white lab coat with a smile. "I'll go bring you guys some coffee, okay?"

"Sounds good," Jack answered for all of them. "You know where we'll be."

"Right where you belong," was the doctor's reply, and then she, too, left the room.

It was mid-afternoon by the time Daniel started to fight his way out from under the painless fog Janet's drugs had cradled him in, and the first thing he was aware of was a dull ache that seemed to have saturated every part of his body. He made a small noise of wordless complaint and tried to shift into a more comfortable position; he realized that something warm had possession of both of his hands at about the same moment that the dull background murmur he hadn't been paying attention to had resolved itself into three distinct voices--all apparently talking to him.

Come on, Dannyboy, you've slept long enough…

Daniel, wake up, it's time to wake up…

Daniel Jackson, please open your eyes.

His eyes proved harder to open than he would have expected, and the first unsuccessful flutter of effort brought forth another moan as he realized that even his eyelids hurt. The voices, however, made cheerful noises and a gentle hand touched his hair. "That's it, Danny, you can do it. We're all here waiting for you."

The voice and the touch suddenly connected with a name in his sluggish mind. Jack. Jack was here. Daniel realized he had a dim memory of Jack waking him up earlier when he'd been asleep on his desk and frowned a little; why couldn't Jack just let him sleep? Were they going on a mission? He didn't feel like going on a mission…but it wasn't like he had a choice, was it? He made the effort again, and this time managed to get his eyes halfway open.

A few uncomfortable blinks resolved the three blurry figures leaning over him into Jack, Sam and Teal'c. They looked glad to see him. Hmm, he'd have to think about that for a minute, somehow it didn't seem quite right. Jack and Sam appeared to each be holding one of his hands--rather tightly, too. It all seemed familiar…oh, that was it. Of course! "Dream," he murmured with a faint, regretful smile, letting his eyes drift closed again. "Nice dream…"

The cheerful voices became dismayed, and a hand began insistently patting his cheek. Jack--the dream Jack--was calling his name. Daniel blinked his eyes open again; it was marginally easier this time. Jack looked upset and he frowned. "S'my dream, Jack; let me sleep."

Jack shook his head, looking even more upset than before. "Danny, you're not dreaming." He swallowed hard. "Why do you think you're dreaming?"

"You're here. All here," Daniel said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. The blue eyes were puzzled, uncomprehending. "S'not a dream? Has to be."

Jack choked on that one, and Sam dropped her head with what sounded like a sob. Teal'c, standing near the foot of the bed, caught the confused archaeologist's gaze and slowly, sadly shook his head. "This is not a dream, Daniel Jackson, you have my word. We are all really here."

Daniel had to think again; that seemed to be getting easier, too, and it didn't take quite so long this time. Sudden understanding widened his eyes. "Oh," he breathed, looking around at his three teammates. This was a problem; he had to think of a way to reassure them, he didn't want to leave his friends upset like this. "Hey, s'okay," he said, trying to speak a little more clearly. "It's okay, really. And I'm glad you're all here with me; means a lot to have friends with me, not to be alone..."

Three blank looks, then Jack threw back his head and almost roared with frustration. "Goddamnit!" he yelled. Making a visible effort to control himself, he very gently took Daniel's face in his hands and looked him straight in the eye. "Okay," he said slowly and oh-so-patiently. "We're gonna take this from the top. Daniel, you are not dreaming--and you sure as hell aren't dying, okay? Got that?" Daniel nodded, wide-eyed, and Jack sighed. "Sure you do. All right, now do you remember our last mission?"

Daniel's blue eyes got even wider. "What did I do?"

"Nothing." Sam jumped in quickly, leaning into her confused teammate's line of vision and trying for a reassuring smile. "You didn't do anything wrong, Daniel. Do you remember getting zatted on the other side of the Mirror yesterday?"

It was obvious that he didn't. "Well, you did," Jack told him. "And their zats weren't quite the same as the ones in this reality…but you didn't know that, and when you didn't get the usual side effects you figured you were okay. To make a long story short, you weren't."

"Yesterday?"

"You've been in the infirmary since last night," Jack elaborated. "You're gonna be okay, but you'll be here for a couple more days and Frasier guarantees you won't enjoy it."

"Oh." Daniel blinked at him, and then a worried look crossed his face. "But…why are you here? Are all of you okay?"

The innocent question-and the genuine concern behind it-twisted in Jack's gut like a dull knife. Daniel has learned to adapt to whatever awful situation life throws at him, he thought sadly. And just look what he did with this one; he's still our friend, but he doesn't expect anything in return…Christ, Danny, I don't deserve a friend like you. "We're…a lot better," Jack told him softly. "We didn't want you to wake up alone."

"You didn't?" Daniel's surprise was as genuine as his concern had been. "But…don't you have more important things to do?"

"Nothing more important than this," Jack replied seriously. "Daniel, we owe you an apology--a big one. Apparently Machello's little presents were the gift that keeps on giving; I didn't understand half of Frasier's explanation, but it sounds like our previous 'experiences' with the Gou'ald had predisposed the three of us to avoid you like the plague because you were a carrier for the Gou'ald killing machines."

"We treated you very badly, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c intoned, his voice thick with remorse. "We have betrayed the trust you placed in us."

"Janet said we were fighting the effect at some level or it would have been much worse," Sam added. "But, Daniel…we know it must have been bad enough. We'll understand if you can't forgive us."

"Can't forgive…" Daniel's blue eyes shimmered with sudden tears. "I thought it was something I did," he said in a small, shamed voice. "I should be asking if you can forgive me for not noticing something was wrong, for being so self-absorbed…"

"Hey! None of that." Jack cut off the younger man's self-recrimination with a gentle shake, his own eyes suspiciously bright. "Daniel, none of this was your fault and you had every right to be self-absorbed--hell, after everything that went on I'm amazed you're still here. I'm not sure I would have been."

Daniel sniffed and then yawned. "Sure you would," he said. "What we do is more important than one person, you know that; none of us would ever put minor personal differences ahead of the safety of our world." He caught Jack's flinch and the worried look came back. "Jack?"

O'Neill shook his head. "I don't know, Daniel; I just found out recently that 'minor differences' aren't something we can afford to overlook." He forced a smile and patted his friend's shoulder. "Why don't you go back to sleep, Danny? We can talk some more when you wake up."

"Yeah, you need your rest," Sam chimed in, smoothing back his hair with a gentle hand. "We need you to get better so we can get back to saving the world."

Daniel chuckled, but he had used up what little strength he had and his eyes were already sliding closed again. "Don't need me to do that, Sam."

"I beg to differ with you, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c informed him solemnly. "You may rest assured that we will always need you--because you remind us of why the world should be saved."

Fin

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