JOHNNY’S POV

Thinking back on it, I think I fell in love with Zeke the first time I saw him at Tan Son Nhut Team House  in Saigon.  I noticed him sitting quietly beside Goldman and I was mesmerized by the sheer strength and power of the man.  He reminded me of the mythical Greek warriors who were able to perform feats beyond those of mere mortals .  Then when his blue eyes locked with mine, I felt that he looked straight into my heart and soul and saw the loneliness and longing there.  Then he smiled at me.  It was the first time that I felt welcome, that I finally found someone I could call friend. 

I almost ruined it when Myron and I got into it, but I was angry and Myron for some reason could push all my buttons.  But Zeke still gave me a chance and allowed me to seek him out every once in a while.

I took every opportunity to try to get Zeke alone so that I could get to know him better, but Myron always appeared and monopolized his time.  It was like having an older brother and mentor all rolled up in one.  His friendship was the first nice thing that had happened to me in Nam. I figured the only way that I could ever spend time with Zeke was to get to know Myron.  I might have to share his time and friendship, but at least it was more than I had at the time.

My relationship with Myron was rocky from the start.  Each of us had our preconceptions of the other based upon secondhand gossip.  I figure that he was a spoiled rich kid that had everything handed to him on a silver platter, including his command.  At our first meeting I felt vindicated because all I saw was an arrogant, self-righteous little prick who was not only lucky enough to have a friend like Zeke, but also had won Alex's hand.

That was before I got to know him.   After Alex’s death, I moved in with him.  I think one of the main reasons I decide to share quarters with Myron was the chance to annoy the hell out of him.   He reminded me a lot of a porcupine with its quills, always defensive, trying to keep everyone away so that he wouldn’t be hurt again.  It took a long time for me to earn his trust. The more I learned about him, the more I wanted to get to know him.  I found myself seeking Myron out to have a drink with, discuss literature, the arts and anything else that we could, just so we could enjoy each other's company.  We both came to realize that we needed each other as a release to our stress.  Both of us tended to bottle up our emotions to the point that we would blow and do something dangerous or stupid.

I could feel myself smile, remembering some of our more spectacular and public arguments.  I know most of the base thought we couldn't stand each other and that we were both in love with Alex, but that was far from the truth. 

At first I thought that Alex was the perfect woman for me, but then as I got to know her I realized that it wouldn't work out.  She was too self-involved for a lasting relationship with me, but nevertheless we could have some fun together.  Then I watched her with Myron and I realized that she was using him.  Oh, she wouldn’t admit it, even to herself, but that's what she was doing and Myron just let her. 

I couldn't believe it when she told me that she’d given Myron an ultimatum of either taking a desk job for her or they were through.

** What was the woman thinking!  **

Then she dumped Myron just as he was going on a dangerous assignment, caused him to become distracted when he should have been concentrating on the mission, and he ended up with Zeke as a POW.

** The bitch!  **

** I almost lost them both! **

Afterwards, when Myron lay in the hospital, he told her that he’d put in a transfer for a desk job.  Just for her. Then just as he got out of the hospital she dumped him for a fancy reporting job.  When I confronted her about it all she said was that Myron would get over it, as if Myron didn't matter to her.  I was never so glad to see the back of someone as I was of her, but then she had to go and get herself killed, dragging Myron down into guilt and revenge.

The pain of her death made Myron afraid to reach out. Instead he turned all of his grief inward. I wished to God that Zeke was there, but he had gone stateside.  The only thing I could do for Myron was to continue to reach for him and hold him when he finally broke down after he returned from a mission.  He told me about his mother's suicide, how his father refused to let him mourn for her, and how it tore him up.  I think that night he cried for Alex and for his mother finally allowed him to come to terms with their deaths and that fact there was nothing he could have done to save either woman.

I think that was when my relationship with Myron changed and I realized how desperately I sought Myron's approval and friendship.  He, in turn, saw beyond the brash words and apparent confidence to see the man inside of me.   He told me he used to watch me as I helped out the kids at Sister Bernadette's orphanage, saw how I use to sneak supplies to them.  Myron then asked me what he and the platoon could do to help the kids. 

When I was shot down it was Myron who fought to find me when the Army was prepared to write me off.  I think we became best friends then, but our friendship wasn't always smooth.  When my door gunner killed and wounded several of Myron's men, he lashed out at me with angry words and rejected my attempts to explain.  He later apologized for it, not understanding why he reacted the way he did.   It took a while to forgive him, but I think Zeke helped both of us to understand why Myron reacted the way he did.   To sum it up in two words: "The General".

I never got to say goodbye when I was injured and medivaced to Japan and then to the states when my flight status was revoked.  But I did start sending Myron and Zeke care packages and writing to them.  They in turn wrote to me.  I started to notice a change in their letters to me when Myron was shipped home and Zeke had to stay.  The loneliness in their letters shook me to the core and I wrote to them, as well as called Myron. It made me realize how much I was in love with both men.

It was hard growing up in a small town in Indiana knowing that I was attracted to both girls and guys.  I had to suppress that side of me and start to build that cocky, he-man, charming face so that no one could guess.  In high school I became the king of the jocks, joined every team I could, had a new girl every month and the rep of being the toughest guy in school.  All so that no one could guess that I liked guys just as much as girls.  I had seen what my so-called friends did to other boys who they considered girly and no way in hell was I ever going to let them know.

Over the years this mask served me in good stead, protecting me from a society that couldn’t or wouldn’t accept me the way I was.  I hid who and what I was by joining the military, only to come face to face with it in one of my flight instructors.   Mike was the first man who I can honestly say I had a crush on.  He figured me out pretty fast and helped me to find myself, while I in turn found a really good friend.   Mike was gay but he told me that because I liked girls that I was bi and there was nothing sinful or sick about me.  That took a while to sink in because being raised a Catholic, all sex was considered sinful and I thought I would burn in hell for even thinking about sex with a man.

Mike also told me that he knew a lot of guys who were like me but who ignored that side of themselves and some were pretty happy but others weren't.  He told me that I was lucky because when I fell in love, it would be with the person and not the package that they came in.

Now that I was here with Zeke and Myron, I wanted to run from them.  A bi man in love with his two straight best friends, staying in the same house as them and not being able to touch them, because if that happened, nothing could make me stop except for them killing me. 

** What was I thinking? **

When I got the job with American Airlines and the chance to work out of New York, I jumped at it. With the bonus of having Myron and Zeke there, it was a fantasy come true.  I called Myron before I had a chance to think and asked to stay with him until I found a place.  Myron agreed pretty fast and before I knew it I was on my way.  Now reality has come to smack me in the face with a 2 by 4, for I will be in heaven and hell at the same time.

Well, Johnny!  It's not polite to keep your two best friends waiting.  I can keep myself in control until I find a place.  Just remember: no touching!

They haven't changed much, for my heart still lurches at the sight of them both. My palms become slick and I swear that the temperature goes up 10 degrees.  Both men still have that sleekness from Nam, hard bodies that make the woman around them watch them with hunger, but they’ve also filled out a little more, being able to eat on a regular basis and sleep without worrying that a VC will slit their throats.  

Myron is like a trapped lion, all gold, menacing, beautiful in his furiousness and independence.  His muscles have become more defined with him eating right and I found my mouth made suddenly dry by looking at the sensual contours of his body as he moved to meet me.  The tan cotton shorts he was wearing only served to enhance his long clean limbs, with a silky tan covering steel muscles and the black t-shirt hugging his torso as though it was painted on.  It molded itself to the wide firm shoulders, down well-defined pecs to a washboard stomach and slim hips.  Then my eyes fastened hungrily on his erect nibbles, which were displayed perfectly thanks to the freezing air in the terminal.  Realizing that I would be caught staring, I dropped my eyes to Myron's legs.  The saying of legs that go on forever certainly applied to him.  A sudden hot flash went through me like lightening at the thought of those legs wrapped around my waist as I made love to him by golden candlelight.

** Stop! **

Desperately I turned my gaze onto Zeke. 

** Oh God!  **

Straight from the frying pan right into a roaring fire.

Every inch of skin I could see was tanned a deep bronze. His skin slid over the steel cables of muscles that I found myself mesmerized by.  The desire to touch him, to feel those muscles as they moved beneath his skin became an obsession.  He was dressed like Myron but he had on black shorts and a blue t-shirt that made his eyes twinkle and glow a brilliant blue.  An image flashed of my hands running down his back as he made love to me…

No, Johnny.  Be good. These are your friends.  You don't think of your friends that way.

God, he looked wonderful.  When I first met Zeke I though he was like an ancient warrior but now ... now he look like a god. 

A God of war…no. A God of love, for those blue eyes, friendly and gentle, made the difference.  Looking into those eyes I felt safe and protected.  Those eyes allow you trust him, they comfort you when you are scared or hurt, and give you strength in the battle ahead.  Those eyes are like a parent’s eyes, encouraging and protecting you at the same time.  I was important in those eyes for they reach my heart and soul.  I have also seen those same gentle eyes become as hard as stone and the god of vengeance released.   I have seen VC back away from those eyes, I have seen hardened men gulp and sit back down, and I have see officers swallow nervously if any of Zeke's men were hurt.

How different Zeke's eyes were from Myron's.  Myron's eyes were like brown velvet that could you drown in their sadness.  He was also a man of fiery passion who could rock your world.   His sensual brown eyes always looked half asleep, tempting you, daring you to take a chance.  Then they can be hard and unyielding like a rock.  With those eyes, warriors snap to attention faster, officers move out of the way, and the enemy runs for cover.  When both Zeke and Myron were angry that their men were put in danger, most of the brass would be shaking in their boots.  Neither of them would back down. They usually got what they demanded.

As I look closer at my obsessions I realized there was a sadness that seem to surround them both.  Neither really looked at the other and if one by chance touched the other, they jerked back as if burned.   Something had happened and it seemed as though all their joy had been crushed.

** What happened? **

This is not like them. 

They seemed lost.

Has someone hurt them or done something to them?

They both enfold me in a hug that gives me the feeling that I’m their anchor in the rough sea that they’ve found themselves in.  First priority is to find out what is going on and help them if I can.  They must have seen the worry in my eyes for they give me sad smiles. I have time to figure out what happened, then take my vengeance out on the one who did this to them.

Myron grabbed my arm and started to lead me to the luggage area. Once we were all heading in the right direction he released my arm and asked,  "So how was your flight from LA?"

I figure they didn't want to talk about it here and maybe not for a while so I put on my charming Johnny face.  "The flight was long, but I got sit with a very interesting grandmother.  Plus I got a couple of phone numbers from the other ladies on the plane.  But you know, guys, I'm really beat. Traveling like that takes a lot out of you.  I hope you don't mind me crashing tonight."

Zeke's eyes twinkled as he answered, "We figure you will be beat for a couple of days.  So we’ll wait till Friday night to take you out on the town.  Myron or me could take you around and show you the neighborhood and get you familiar with the locations of things."

"That sounds like a plan, man."

It took us about 45 minutes to get my luggage to Myron's house, which I heard was pretty fast.  My major concern is to find transportation from the airport to Myron's house before Monday next week.  That leaves me five days to find some way of getting back and forth to work.

Myron's home was a three-story brownstone in Queens and just looking at it told me that he was well-off.  The first floor contained the living room, dining room, kitchen, a small bathroom, and study.  The family room, another bathroom and a study were on the second.  On the third floor the master and two other large bedrooms were located.  Everywhere I looked there was expensive furniture and hardwood floors.

Myron opened the bedroom door to the left of the stairway and looked into a large bedroom with two windows.  One overlooked the little backyard and the other overlooked the quiet street, which created a nice cross-current breeze.  The large double bed in the center of the room looked inviting and comfortable.  The blue decor of the room was soothing and all I wanted to do was lie down and rest.

Myron must have sensed my exhaustion. He put my bags down beside the closet.  "I’ll come and wake you when dinner is ready.  If you need me, my bedroom is the last door.  The bathroom is the second one down from you and Zeke is in the other room.  See you later."  With that he closed my door and allowed me to take full advantage of that comfortable bed.

As promised Myron woke me for supper about three hours later. I was feeling refreshed.  Sitting down at dinner with both Myron and Zeke reinforced the feeling that something had happen to their relationship.   There was none of the easy camaraderie that had been there during the war. It was like they were uneasy around one another. 

As I continued to watch them watching each other, I started to notice something. At first I denied it to myself.   The way Myron watched Zeke eat his steak and how Zeke never dropped his eyes as he watched Myron eat his ice cream…it was almost like a sexual teasing was going on between the two men; a competition in sexual frustration.  Unfortunately they unknowingly added me to their challenge.  I was in my own private hell because the exotic behavior of both men had me harder than anytime in my life.  So I sat there eating as slowly as I could so I could get my body back to normal.

Myron got up to remove his and Zeke's dishes and get the water ready to wash them.  As the water filled the sink, Myron bent over to retrieve the dishwashing liquid from under the sink, giving both Zeke and I the perfect view: tempting perfect round globes of flesh in tight shorts, shorts that exposed the golden skin of said flesh.  Suddenly I wasn't hungry for food any more.  My hunger was for one very tempting Myron Goldman bent over the kitchen table naked, with me making love to him.

Dragging my eyes away from the temptation so that my daydream didn't take over, I looked across at Zeke whose blue eyes burned with a hunger that matched and maybe exceeded my own.  But along with hunger there was disgust ... not at Myron, but instead directed at himself.

It was obvious both men were sexually attracted to each other.  Why weren’t they not acting on it?  Why did they side step the issue?  

Knowing that they were in their little loop of confusion, I figured I could make my escape.   Quietly, I moved back from the table and moved to the door before they even realized it.  When they been caught leaving, I faked a big yawn and said, "Thanks, guys, for the great dinner, but I'm still bushed.  I'm going back to sleep for a couple of hours."  Then I escaped to my bedroom to sort through all the information available to me.

Lying on my back staring  at the ceiling, I looked at every piece of evidence.  First the way both men looked at each other during dinner.  I've seen those same expressions when Myron looked at Alex and Zeke and Jennifer.  Desire ... love.  Yes. I have seen it in both their eyes.  So the conclusion is that both of my straight friends are in love with one another.  Now either they are denying their feelings, or there is something else wrong.

There was a small part of me jumping for joy, for I might have a chance with one or the other of them.  But they had to come first because I cared too much for them both to ruin anything between them.  Still I could indulge in a few fantasies with both men. I was in the middle of one when a knock on the door interrupted me.. 

Pulling myself together and taking a deep breath, I opened the door and found Myron waiting nervously to come in. "Myron, come in.  What's up?"

Myron sat down on the edge of my bed, confusion coming off him in waves.  Closing the door, I sat next to him.   I realized that Myron need to talk to someone about what was going on and that I was that someone.   Knowing he won't talk unless I encourage him, I asked,  "Myron, what’s wrong?  I know there is something. Go on, man.  Tell me."

It was like a dam had burst, for he started to cry softly.  Worriedly I gather him into my arms, allowing him to cry on my shoulder.   All I could do was murmur soothing words until the flood of tears stopped.  I don't know how much later it was, but I still ran my hand up and down soothingly giving as much comfort as I could.  Once he was calmer I pushed him slightly away to look him in the face.  "Myron, what’s this about?  What happened?"

Myron's eyes were swollen and red from crying, but a spark of fear entered them.  "If ... if you want to leave ... I understand ... Zeke and I made love one night."  Myron trailed off and waited for me to react violently but instead I reached out to gently cup Myron's face.

One fear entered me: a possibility that Zeke might have forced Myron to have sex and the poor kid was all mixed up.  Waiting till he opened his eyes I asked him, "Myron, tell me the truth. Did Zeke forced you to have sex with him?"

The shocked expression on Myron's face relived me of that fear.  "No.  No, Zeke didn't force me.  We made love and I took him.   It was ... it was wonderful."  The wondrous and loving expression that crossed his face as he talked about it told me that they both wanted it, but what happened?

Now thoroughly puzzled I asked, "If it was so wonderful, what happened? Did Zeke regret it?  Did you?"

He hung his head and whispered words that I would never forget. "We ... we found out that we are half-brother.  My father ... he couldn't because of an accident ... my mother didn't know ... had an affair with Zeke's father.  In her will she ... she had her lawyer contact my father and me so we could meet."

** Oh God! **

To find out that the man that you love is your half-brother…no wonder they were so frustrated.  Both men in love with the other but can't touch because they are brothers.  I gathered Myron into my arms to try to offer all the comfort that I could to my friend.  He rested there for a while, gathering strength to pull back.

Wiping away a few stray tears with the back of his hand, he asked me, "You don't seem shocked at what I told you.  About having a gay affair."

Figuring that since he told me about himself I should tell him about me, I said,  "Look Myron, I don't think you are gay, you might be like I am ... bi.  I've known I was bi since high school…that I like both girls and boys in the same way."

The only expression on Myron's face was incredulous. "But ... but all those girls you have.  How?"

Smiling at Myron's confusion, I replied, "Well, I sort of joined the Air Force so that I didn't have to face up to that fact.  I figured if I ignored those desires for guys I would be all right, except fate can be a bitch.  I developed a crush on one of my flight instructors.  Mike was a really great guy and helped me to come to terms with my feelings and to understand myself.  He was actually my first and only male lover and later a great friend.  I still talk to him once in a while.  He helped to get my head on straight.  I found myself more attracted to women than men and had no problems.  The few men I found myself attracted to I avoided, and I tried just being friends with the two I couldn’t avoid.  Also, being in the military it is sort of discouraged the idea of men making love to men."

"So you control who you fall in love with.  So with practice I can fall out of love with Zeke."  The dejected tone in Myron's voice broke my heart.  From the way Zeke and Myron looked at each other, they were lost.  I had seen the same look in Mike and his lover's gaze.  They had been together for five years and look like they will be together forever.

"Myron, I don't think you or Zeke will be getting over this anytime soon.  I think that you both are meant to be together.  I have seen the hunger and love that you have for each other.  Nothing can break that.  I don't know what I can tell you, you’re both big boys.  You have to make a decision, but you don't have to stick to it if both of you don't want too."

Myron though about it and we sat there in silence till he asked, "You mentioned that there were two men who you were attracted to in Nam who were they?"

** Shit.  **

Open mouth, insert foot.

Figured that Myron would remember that part of the conversation.  Sometimes I think he has a mind like a steel trap. Nothing escapes his attention.  Now how do I get out of this situation without making a mess of it?

I took a deep breath and prepared to lie through my teeth, but as I looked up into his face I could tell he knew.  Figuring that the cat was out of the bag, I replied, "I ... I sort of had a crush on both you and Zeke, but now it's just friendship."  Please oh please buy it.  Come on, Myron, believe it.

Myron smiled and I knew he’d bought it or was at least pretending to.  "Look Myron, I have been comfortable with myself a lot longer that you have.  If you ever want to talk my door is always open.  OK?"

"Thanks John, I might take you up on that."  With that Myron left.

As I finished unpacking my things another knock sounded at my door. The only one left in the house was Zeke.  I opened the door and a flash of desire sizzled on my skin from being so close to him.  "Zeke ... um.  Come in.  I'm just putting away a few things."  Hurriedly I picked up some clothes from the bed and dumped it over to another part of the bed.  "Please have a seat.  What can I do for you?"

I was so nervous that I was fluttering.  Zeke grabbed my wrist and directed me to sit.  His eyes had a hint of worry for me as well as the sadness over his and Myron's relationship.  "Boy, just settle down. You’re like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.  Now you just sit there and tell me what's got you all upset."

How could I say that it was him?  That I just wanted to throw Zeke down onto the bed and have him take me, make love to me. 

** Down Johnny! **

This man is hurting. Don't compound it by pouncing on him.

"I guess it just hit me. Here I am in New York City, about to start a new job.  Everything is just happening so fast." 

He smiled as he released his grip on my arm.  "It takes a lot of guts to do what you have done, John.  You should be proud of yourself.  I know I'm proud of you."

Zeke was proud of me.

I was floating on cloud nine for Zeke was proud of me.

But there had to be another reason that he was here.   "Zeke, is there something you want to talk about?"

Now it was his turn to fidget then, taking a deep breath, he said, "Has Myron come and talked to you?"

I figured I’d get more of what’s happening to both of them if I played dumb. "About what?"

Zeke wouldn't look me in the eye when he said, "Myron and I became lovers before we found out that..."

Knowing I had to be careful or I would lose him, I asked quietly, "Found out what?"

"That we are half-brothers."  At that statement Zeke’s whole body slumped in defeat.

Knowing Zeke, he probably taking the role as big brother very seriously and shouldering all the blame. Taking a risk, I take one of his hands. I use my other hand to lift his face so he will look me in the eye.  "Listen to me, Zeke.  Nothing you did was wrong.   You didn't force Myron into anything and it isn't wrong for you to feel attracted to Myron or to another man.  Neither of you knew that you were brothers when it happened.  Accept it."  Sighing, I took a deep breath and told him what I had told Myron. "Look Zeke, both you and Myron are in love.  The forever kind. Either you get over it or you ignore the fact that you’re brothers.  Neither of you grew up with the other.  There is no real brotherly bond between the two of you other than genetic.  It's not like you are abusing him or that he is too young.  You are both consenting adults.  You just have made a decision. "

"That's just it: we did.  It just can’t be.  There are too many good things happening for Myron.  I just can’t chance it being found out."

I could only see one way out and I told Zeke.  "Then why are you still here? If it is so rough on both of you then maybe you should move out."

Then the man that I thought I’d never see cry did and he did it so quietly that I wouldn’t have known if I haven't seen the tears.  I wrapped my arms around him and he clutched my shirt against his face as I held him. Then his breathless response,  "I ... need to see him ... can't ... can't live without him... both us can't ... we try."

** Oh Shit! **

What a mess!  T

hey are so wrapped up in one another they don't want to be separated.

What can I do?

How can I help them?

Zeke pulled himself together and said, "Sorry, John, for dumping all this on you.  There was no one else to talk to.  I guess both Myron and I needed you in order to let it out."

I smiled and told him, "Hey, both of you are my friends and you were there for me.  It's my turn to return the favor."

Zeke looked at me and asked, "John, you took the news that me and Myron have been lovers awful well. Why?"

Smiling I told him simply, "Zeke, I have been bi since I was in high school.  I like both men and woman, but found it easier to chase after women while in the military.  I have had one male lover but it was just a lot easier having relationships with women.  I figured since you have both been honest I could do no less.  If you ever need to talk about ... anything come and see me."

Zeke gave me one of his smiles that lights up his eyes and said,  "I just might take you up on that, John."

I figured the best thing was to spend time with each man alone.  Just to talk and get them away from each other.  Zeke and I found an old Chevy that turned out to be a red 1965 Corvette convertible that I got for $1,000.00 dollars.   I felt guilty but the car was a beauty and just need some minor motor repairs.  Zeke and I spent the next few days getting it ready and the days were just perfect for it.  I took off my t-shirt to prevent it from getting dirty and in order to work on my tan.  Zeke had one of his old cut-off army shirts and shorts. 

Myron joined us about noon, bringing out some sandwiches and lemonade for lunch.  Then he stayed and helped us clean the car.  I think this was the first time in days the two men talked, let alone laughed with each other as they helped me to fix her up.  It seemed like old times.

Once we got the motor running like a kitten we decided that it was time to wash her up.  Everything was going great till Myron accidentally sprayed Zeke in the face with the hose.  That set Myron off and he started to laugh. I was off too, for the look on Zeke's face was priceless.   He must have looked at the two of us laughing and decided to teach us a lesson.  Retrieving the hose from Myron, he turned it full blast on the two of us.   We were soaked in seconds.  Ripping our t-shirts off, we rolled them up and tried to hit Zeke with them but he just laughed and soaked us more. 

Myron picked up the bucket filled with soap and water, and while I acted as a decoy, he dumped the whole contents over Zeke's head.  To see the rags we were using to wash the car cover Zeke's head and hang there in his face set both Myron and me off in a laughing fit. 

All Zeke said was, "Oh, you think that was funny.  I’ll show you funny."  It was open warfare with Zeke against Myron and me.  Somehow we ended up in the back yard and both Myron and me had Zeke down but somehow or someway the ground beneath us became a large mud puddle.   We rolled around on top of one another and were soon coated in mud.  With us in shorts we could not get a good grip on each other to put an end to this battle. 

Finally Myron and I had Zeke pinned to the ground beneath us.  All of us were out of breath from laughing and wrestling so Myron and I both laid half-on and half-off of Zeke.  I rested my head on Zeke's mud-coated chest, while looking into Myron's mud-covered face and I was happy for the first time in a long while and just rested there.  Everything seemed peaceful.

I don't know how much later it was, but Zeke started to squirm and said, "I don't know about you boys, but I think the mud is getting hard in my shorts and it's getting mighty uncomfortable."

Once he mentioned it, I started to get a little itchy myself and from the look on Myron's face he was feeling it too. 

As we helped each other to stand we got our first look at each other and we started to laugh again.  There didn't appear to be a place not covered by the mud and that included down the shorts.  Once we stop laughing Myron put his hands on his hips and tried to be stern, "Well, I just cleaned the house and no way you guys are going to drag all this mud through there.  We just have to rinse off before going in."

Then he made the grab for the hose again, but I got it before he did.  "Oh, no, you.  You're the one that started all this.  You just let me and Zeke wash you off first."  It took both of us starting with Myron's hair and working down.  I don't know when it changed but both Zeke and me took our time in washing the mud off Myron's body. To feel Myron's skin was intoxicating for both Zeke and I.  Myron's body started to respond to the both of us and I dared to help him wash his chest so that I could touch one erect nipple and hear a little gasp of pleasure.

Then it was Zeke's turn.  It was a fantasy finally realized to be able to touch Zeke.  To feel Zeke's skin and muscles beneath my hand, to share that experience with Myron and watch how Zeke's body responded to both of us.

Then it was my turn to feel the hands of both the men that I love and desire on me. I gave in and enjoyed the moment for as long as it lasted.  When it was finally over all of us were caught up in a web of want and desire, but it was too soon for them.  Plus I didn't want them to sink back into the despair that they were in before.  "Come on guys, let’s go out to eat.   Try out my new wheels and Myron can show us the sights."  I grabbed each one of them around the shoulders and led them back to the house.  The good mood and camaraderie was restored by the time we got into the house.

It was Friday afternoon and both Myron and I were on the way to pick up Zeke from his job interview with the Bronx Zoo.  As Myron and I sat waiting for the light to change two motorcyclists pulled up on either side of us.  I got an uneasy feeling and so did Myron.  Both of us readied our selves for any confrontation that they might make. 

The one beside Myron looked like a bear.  He was covered with hair; dark sunglasses hid his eyes and his black hair was braided down his back.  He had on tight leather pants, a white t-shirt and a black leather vest.  Leather cuffs were around both his wrists and a leather collar was around his neck, giving him a menacing presence.  The guy near me was wearing the same type of outfit, but his short blond hair was covered by a blue bandana and he was clean shaven and less hairy.

"Well looky, David, at what we have here."   This is from Myron's guy as he lowered his glasses to check out both Myron and me, but his gaze returned to Myron. 

** My God, he was checking Myron out!  **

Myron was just as stunned, but I couldn’t fault the guy for his taste. Myron did look hot, with blue shorts and a tight white t-shirt.  With his golden tan and his hair mussed by the wind, he looked hot.

Then the guy beside me leaned in towards me and asked, "Would you two like to party?"  Then ran his finger down my cheek.  I was too shocked to answer.  This was the first time anyone had come onto me like this.

Then I heard the other man say to Myron, "My, you’re a cute little kitten. I’d like to collar you for a long ... long time."  I winced when I heard the man call Myron kitten.  Boy, did he have that wrong.  Myron wasn't a gentle little kitten.  Myron was a lion, a panther in the prime of his life.

Figuring Myron could hand the jerk, I turned to the other guy, David.  He was very good-looking but something told me that there was no way in hell I was going out with him. So I answered him with, "No. We don't party."  Then raising my eyebrow I told him, "We're a little more than you can handle."

At that point I heard a crunch and a yelp Myron had put the guy into a wrist-lock breaking the other man's hand.  Myron was still applying pressure to the hand and before he released the fool, he snarled, "I don't like to be touched, and I am no one’s kitten."  At that moment the light changed and I took off.

Myron looked over at me and said, "What the HELL was that all about?"

I looked over at Myron and back to the road.  He didn't know that those bikers were trying to pick us up.  I figured I better explain before I burst out laughing at Myron's innocence.  "Myron, those guys were trying to pick us up."

Myron lowered his sunglasses to stare incredulously at me. "WHAT? ... But they’re bikers ... I didn't think..."

I couldn't stop myself from smiling at his expression.  "Look, Myron.  The big guy wanted you to be ... let me think what do they call them ... oh yah.  The big guy wanted you to be his bitch.  I've run across those types before and I'm not interested in what they are selling."

"Huh?"

I figured I’d better warn my little innocent about a certain segment of the population that goes into submission / dominance games.  If Myron is interested in that then he should explore, but I don't want anything to do with it.  "Look Myron, those two back there are what are called Doms or Leathermen.  They are looking for a couple of Subs so they can play."  Seeing the confusion still on his face, I continued. "Look.  It's a game people play where one person is the Master and the other the Slave.  The slave does whatever the master tells him and if he doesn't the slave is punished.  Sometimes the slave wears a collar showing that a certain person owns them.  Some of them walk around on leashes, others walk around with very little on.  Some of them only play at it to bring a little excitement into their lives and they have safe words to use to stop the play.  Others play it 24/7. That is what those two wanted and I don't think there would have been any safe words to stop them."

I could see the light dawning on Myron's face and he wrinkled his nose in disgust. "I don't think I would be interested in THAT."

"Now, not all of it's bad.  I had one girl tie me up and I couldn't move, but Myron, it was a mind-blowing experience all the same.  Don't rule everything out.  It all depends on the person you are with and how much you trust them.  It can be exciting and fun ."

He got quiet as he was thinking over what I had told him, letting his imagination roam.  When I next snuck a peak at him, he was wearing a smile and kind of looking at me, in a way that make me shiver with desire and I wondered what came up in that devious brain of his.

That night the three of us celebrated because Zeke got the job. It paid pretty well and had a good health and pension plan.  Zeke was thinking of starting a college fund for Katie and Myron offered to help Zeke set one up.  Myron took us to a little Italian restaurant that had the best spaghetti and meatballs I’d ever have.

Then we went to a sports bar to have a couple of beers and play pool.  But that's when our luck turned.  We looked up at the noise to see six bikers trying to come in and the owner not allowing them. 

** Shit! **

 Two of them were from this afternoon.

I hissed at Myron, "Oh shit! Myron, look."

He looked over at me and asked, "Those are the two from this afternoon?"

"Yep, and I think they brought some buddies with them for revenge." I whispered.

Zeke looked between the two of us and knew something had happened to us.  He then watched the bikers at the door as they finally pushed past the owner and looked around for Myron and me.  His eyes noted the cast on one of the biker’s hand and raised an eyebrow at us. "Ok, you two, what happened?"

I straightened up and gripped my pool cue a little harder.  Myron copied my motion, both of us getting ready for battle.  I whispered over to Zeke, "They made a pass at Myron and me.  The guy with the cast got a little fresh with Myron.  So Myron broke his hand for him."

There was a mixture of disbelief and rage in the gaze that Zeke turned towards me.  "They were looking for subs so they could play doms.  Myron took exception to be called kitten and things went downhill from there."

There was more anger in his eyes as he gritted out his final question. "They weren't going to let you two say no, were they?"

I really felt sorry for those six guys because Zeke was in a fury and it looked like Myron was just as pissed. I figured, well, in for a penny, in for a pound. "No, they weren't."

The three of us formed a triangle so we could protect each other’s backs, allowing the six men to surround us. We waited to see what would happen.  I don't think they expected Zeke, for they were a little nervous about him.  Those two probably thought that we were a couple of rich kids driving around, who’d never fought a day in our lives.  But you couldn't say that for Zeke.  Just looking at him you knew he knew how to fight and that threw them.

The guy that Myron took care of edged forward so that he could speak to Zeke. "Look, we don't have any beef with you. We just want the two pretty boys and then we’ll leave."

I don't think I have ever seen Zeke that mad. His words came out slow and hard and put the fear of god into me. "I don't think so.  One of them is my brother and the other is my best friend.  Maybe you should leave before you regret ever being born."

That backed them up a bit, but then they attacked.  They shortly found out what two special ops and a special ops pilot can do.  The battle was short; over in matter of minutes. Five minutes later a dozen cops arrived to escort our attackers away.  When we explained what had happened, keeping quiet as to the real reason the fight had started, the cops snorted and asked where we’d learned to fight.  Myron looked them in the eye and informed them Nam Special Forces.  Respect showed in their eyes as they led the men out to the waiting cars.

After the cops left, the owner politely asked us to leave and we couldn’t blame him.  We did do some damage to his place.  We left the place still high on adrenalin not knowing where we wanted to go. So we drove around the city just checking out the sights.  Until we arrived back home.

That’s the way I’m thinking about it. 

Home.

We made our way inside and Zeke grabbed a couple of beers and we went into the living room just to relax in each other’s company.  We talked of little things, nothing important, just so that we could unwind.  Before we knew it, it was two in the morning and Zeke had to get up in three hours.  All of us headed to bed.

The next two weeks flew by and we fell into a routine.  I got up at 4:30 in order to be at work for the 6:35 flight to Washington. I’d make the coffee.  At five o’clock Zeke would come down for breakfast as I was headed out the door.  Zeke would leave at five thirty to get to work at six.  Myron would get up at around seven and go for his morning jog, come back, pay bills and work on a couple of magazine articles or his new book.  If it was his turn, he would do the laundry, grocery shopping, or run errands for the rest of us.  Each of took turns at doing those things; it was only fair. 

At first Myron refused money from Zeke and me for rent, but we talked him into it, telling him that we didn’t want to take advantage of him.  The camaraderie that we had in Nam came back but a new undercurrent of desire had entered.

On a Saturday three weeks after I arrived we were sitting around, having eaten breakfast. I was reading the newspaper when my attention was caught by Myron.  It almost seemed that he was moving in slow motion as he peeled a banana, his glistering lips parted in anticipation of eating the ripe fruit.  Most people will take a large bite, but not Myron.  He took just the tip of the fruit in his mouth and sucked at the over-ripe tip before taking little nibbles at it.  I couldn’t look away as I watched Myron alternating between nibbling and sucking and then watched as his throat worked as he swallowed the meat. 

I swear that the temperature in the room went up twenty degrees and my shorts become three times too small as I watched.  I heard Zeke’s breath catch and knew that he was watching Myron as well.  Myron continued to read his part of the newspaper, totally ignorant of what he was doing to us.  When he finished, he looked at Zeke and me through his eyelashes, then smiled and left the room.

** The Little Shit! **

He knew exactly what the hell he was doing.

** This Means War! **

I had my revenge the next day.  It turned out to be a beautiful day and I decided to work on my tan. I took out the lounge chair that I’d bought for that purpose and set it up so that I could be seen from one of the kitchen windows. I waited till Zeke and Myron started to do the dishes. 

When they were in place I shimmied out of the cut-offs I was wearing to show off my new Speedo swim shorts that covered everything, but barely.  Then I bent over so that both of my spectators got a good look and pretended to arrange my towel. 

At that point I heard a splash. So far, so good. 

I got their attention.

Then I lay down and started to apply the sun tanning oil to my skin, starting with my legs.  I squirted a little in my hands and then rubbed them together before running them up and down my right leg ever so slowly.  Then I repeated the process on the left leg.   I shot a quick glance to the window to see how my audience was enjoying it and had to stop myself from smiling.  You could have set off a bomb in the street and they wouldn’t have blinked. 

** Good! **

I decided that my thighs needed some extra attention.  Using one hand I started to dribble the oil on my left thigh using my right hand to rub it in with slow wide circles that had my hand brushing against my cock.   Switching hands I repeated the procedure on my right thigh. 

I could feel Zeke and Myron’s burning stares as I started on my chest and stomach.  I took the oil bottle in both hands and applied the oil all over.  Closing the bottle, I then placed it on the plastic table beside the lounge and proceeded to use both hands to slowly rub the oil in.  I first used small circles to rub the oil around my stomach and hips then ran my hands straight up my chest to my neck and face before slowly running them down again.  I took extra care to rub the oil on my pectorals, making sure that my nipples became hard and erect.

I took a final check to see if my victims had moved. 

Nope. 

Good!

I then looked up at them and gave them both the same grin Myron had used the other day. Then I laid back to get some rays.

Zeke’s turn came about a week later.  It was Friday and we decided to go out for dinner. We were getting ready and Zeke announced that he was taking a shower.  I didn’t think anything of it and was getting dressed when I came across one of Myron’s shirts in my closet.  I started down the hall to return it to him when I noticed the door to the bathroom was open.  All I have to say is THANK YOU MYRON for choosing the clearest plastic curtain that you can buy because nothing was hidden. 

I never saw anything so beautiful in my life.  Zeke looked like one of those marble statues from Greece or Rome that you see in museums.  Wide muscular shoulders leading down to a manly waist and hips then to the pale globes of his ass before long, well-defined legs.  I heard Myron come out of his bedroom to ask me something when he noticed the same thing I did. 

We stood and watched as Zeke washed first one arm then the other in slow exotic movements that made my mouth dry with desire.  He then looped the washcloth around his back so wash it and we watched as the cloth got lower and lower to the white globes that were my obsession.  But before he got there he released one end to re-soap the cloth and then bent over to give us a perfect view of his ass as he started to wash one leg then the other in the same manner as he did his arms.

I moaned softly and I started to wonder how it would feel to touch that tempting flesh, to be buried deep within it and hear Zeke groan with pleasure.  As if he heard my silent desire Zeke ran the cloth up and over his ass and I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Then he turned.

Zeke had his eyes closed and was wetting his hair.  He looked like a god standing there like that and all I wanted to do was worship at his feet, at this perfect male body.  My breath caught in my throat for the reality of Zeke far surpassed my fantasy of him.   He started to move the soapy cloth down his neck to play with his nipples before running down the muscular stomach to his manhood.  I stood there watching as Zeke softly stroked the cloth down his length before rolling the cloth against his sacks, cupping them and massaging them before turning around to rinse off his body.   But before he turned he looked straight at us both and gave us a sensual challenging smile that had my skin sizzling with desire.

Once Zeke had turned his back to us I shoved Myron’s shirt into his arms and hurried back to my room to cool off.

As two more weeks went by, the sexual tension and frustration mounted on all our parts till it exploded one Thursday.  I had lain down to take a nap before dinner when I was awakened by Myron and Zeke arguing about something.  I don’t even know if they knew why they were fighting.  Getting up, I made my way to them and saw Myron shove Zeke.  It happened so fast I’m not sure what exactly happened, but I know how it ended.  I got between Myron and Zeke to try to stop them from fighting. Zeke grabbed my old t-shirt and try to shove me out of the way, but instead the t-shirt tore.  I then ended up slammed into the wall.

The ripping sound seemed to have shocked both Zeke and Myron back to their senses, but it pissed me off.  “Damn it, Zeke.  That was my favorite t-shirt,” I told him as I removed the tattered remains from my body.  Then I noticed the silence and the air seemed to sizzle with desire coming from the two men. 

It was too much for me and I just gave in.  I walked up to Zeke and grabbed his shirt, dragging his body next to mine.  Savagely I laid claim to his mouth, dominating the kiss and forcing him to open his mouth so I could invade that sweet cavern.  I savored the taste of the man and mapped every corner of his mouth until I was forced to release him for lack of air.

Shoving Zeke back I took in his stunned expression and felt satisfaction.  Then I felt movement behind me as Myron tried to leave. 

** Oh no you don’t.  **

Turning swiftly, I captured Myron against the wall and told him, “I don’t think so.” I then captured his mouth the same way I had Zeke’s.  To kiss Zeke was like tasting the wild outdoors, fierce, challenging and heart-pounding.   Myron on the other hand was like the ocean, the hidden depths, one moment calm and then in the next a storm hits and you are swept up in passion.  Once again I had to release my victim or risk passing out.

Both men were stunned at my actions and I was too drunk on passion to really care.  That I loved them both equally. The only thought in my mind was that I wanted them both. 

** Now.  **

Grabbing each of them by their shirts, I led them into Myron’s room and backed up till I felt his bed.  I placed one knee then the other on the bed and continue to back up, not letting either of them go till we were in the center of the king-sized bed.  Looking at both of them, I told them, “I love you both and I want you BOTH NOW!  I’m tired of waiting.”  Then I pushed them down onto the bed. Both seemed to happy let me lead in this dance and I was more than happy to do so.

I unbuttoned Zeke’s shirt only to find an undershirt underneath blocking my view of his body.  Grabbing a handful of the undershirt I growled with passion, “Take that off NOW, Sergeant!.”

Waiting till he followed my instructions, I turned to Myron and grabbed his t-shirt. I yanked it none too gently out of his pants to throw it into a corner.  A golden feast awaited me and I leaned over to sample and taste the smorgasbord of delights.  Capturing one chocolate nub in my mouth, I gently sucked and nipped at it, encouraging it to harden, before repeating it on the other treat.  Myron was writhing and groaning in pleasure.

Zeke was not waiting for orders from me.  Instead he curled up behind me, running his large hands up and down my sides then moved to my chest to pinch and rolled my nipples between his fingers, making me groan.  He hands weren’t the only thing busy as his mouth laid little kisses across my neck and down my back.

I was busy kissing down Myron’s torso and trying to get his pants unzipped, but the stupid thing got stuck.  I was getting more and more frustrated. I pulled a little back from Myron and grabbed the material on both sides of the zipper. With a growl I ripped them apart.  Myron’s eyes widened in shock at what I’d done. I unmercifully stripped him of the ruined pants and underwear to display him in his full glory.

Myron was like a spotted jaguar, sleek and deadly, for he would stop you with his beauty and then kill you before you knew it.  All that power, all that strength, laid waiting for me to take.  I could see in his eyes that he would let me and saw love there as well.  Love for me.  That calmed me and I swept him up in my arms for a soft and gentle kiss.  I wanted to make this first time with him slow and sweet, not hard and passionate, but another factor had to be concerned and that was Myron also loved Zeke.

I didn’t want Myron’s first time to be full of regrets, so I was determined that Zeke would be the one to have Myron first.   Knowing my other lover, he would balk at it, but I knew them both and knew that this was what they wanted.  There was no jealousy. Instead, it was my gift to them.

So while Zeke was busy getting me out of my pants, I leaned over and kissed Myron gently on the neck and asked, “Myron, is this your first time?”

“Yes,” he whispered in a passion-laden voice.

I continue to lay little kisses around his face, neck, and chest. “Would you like Zeke to take you first?”

“Oh, yes,” he whispered and he grabbed my hair to hold me against his neck.

“Good.  Then you have to help me, darling.”

“Anything!”

“Good.  Just do what I tell you.”

I was finally free of my pants and I felt a slick finger enter me and I groaned as that digit entered my body, knowing it was Zeke’s.  I twisted my body so I trapped his hand under me to fervently kiss him and feel his naked flesh against mine for the first time.

I shifted slightly so that Zeke’s finger was withdrawn from my body.  I suppressed my cry of disappointment, but what I had in mind would make up for it. 

Gently kissing and sucking Zeke’s neck, I told him. “No, Zeke. Later.  I need you to help me with something first.”

I then turned back so that I sat in Zeke’s lap and felt his erection rub against my bottom.  Both of us groaned at the delicious feeling and I prevented myself from rubbing against his cock, knowing that this was far more important then just me. 

Retrieving the hand lotion, I opened it and squirted some on both his and my hands.  Then I wrapped both my arms around his so that I could direct him. Leaning forward slightly, I pulled Myron back so that we were kneeling between his legs.

Softly I started to caress him and watched as he writhed in excitement.  “Look at him, Zeke.  Isn’t he beautiful?  He’s all ours to do with as we please.  Isn’t that right, Myron?”

Myron tossed his head back and forth and groaned, “Y-y-y-y-y-e-e-e-e-s-s-s-s!”

Taking Zeke’s hand, I reached out to grab Myron’s erection, but Zeke balked.  I couldn’t have that, so I squirmed just a little to make him gasp and to lose the tension.  I wrapped Zeke’s large hand over Myron’s cock and started to gently go up and down, making Myron growl and purr in pleasure.

Then whispering, I told my other lover, “Listen to him, Zeke, he loves it.  He loves us.  He wants us.  Do you love him?”

Then in a whisper broken by vehemence Zeke answered. “God help me, I do.”

“Do you love me?”

He buried his head in my neck and gently kissed me. “Yes. Yes I do.”

My heart soared at those words, for my love was returned by both men.

Know that I had tortured both of them enough, I took Zeke’s other hand and used his index finger to rub at Myron’s entrance.  Myron purred and arched his back in delight. Then and only then did I start to insert Zeke’s finger little by little.   Myron froze at the intrusion so I stopped and, taking my hand from Zeke’s, I started to run my left hand up and down Myron’s thigh.  I whispered, “It’s OK, Myron.  We’ll take it slow, but you have to help us by bearing down, OK?  We won’t hurt you.  We love you.  You trust us, don’t you?”

“Yes,” was the soft whisper.

Continuing to softly caress him, I said in a soothing voice, “Good, then trust me.  We will make you feel really good in just a little while.  OK?”

Big brown eyes looked into mine and I saw the love and trust that he had for both of us in there.  I swore to myself that he would be so lost in passion that it would take a week for him to recover. “OK,” he told me in a husky but scared whisper.

Then, turning to my other lover, I said, “OK, Zeke.  Nice and gentle.  Try to find his prostate and give it a little rub.   Make him scream for me.”  Zeke then very gently continued to push his finger into Myron as I continued to caress his leg softly and sooth him with gentle words, telling him how well he was doing.  I knew when Zeke hit it because Myron arched his back and screamed, “OH G-O-D-D-D-D-D!”

“I told you it would feel good.  OK, Zeke, add another, but be gentle.”  I then unwrapped Zeke’s hand from Myron’s erection.  I didn’t want him to come, for it would spoil my side of things. Instead I gently caressed him and talked him through the stretching. He didn’t have any problem with the second or third finger, for he did exactly what I told him to, bear down on them.  To see how loose Myron was, I inserted my finger also and I never felt anything so warm and tight as he was.  The muscle clenched around our fingers trying to draw us further in and I was so tempted to stay, but I regretfully withdrew, bringing Zeke with me. 

Myron whimpered at the loss and I softly caressed his thigh and murmured soft words before turning to Zeke. I captured my lover’s face and I saw that his eyes were so dark with desire that they appeared to be black. 

I broke off the kiss and placed the lotion into his hands, asking him silently to prepare me as he did Myron.  I then leaned forward to capture Myron in a kiss and I hissed as our heated flesh caressed each other.  As Myron and I continued to thrust against each other, I felt Zeke's finger at my entrance teasing, caressing me, before finally entering me.  I bore down on his finger and cried out, “More.  Zeke. More!”  Then I felt the second finger and felt a little burning, but it felt good for it was Zeke that was doing it, someone that I truly loved.  He started to stretch me and then touched my prostate and I couldn’t help but shout my pleasure as he rubbed and added the third finger. 

Once Zeke's fingers withdrew I rolled over onto my back, bringing Myron with me. I settled him between my legs so I could wrap them around him.  Capturing Myron's face in my hands and seeing the desire and hunger there, I told him, "Myron ... I want to feel you in me.  Please." 

The hunger in his eyes erupted into passion and his goal seemed to make me insane with pleasure. He started kissing, licking and sucking every inch of me until I begged him to take me.  When he finally entered, he did it slowly, gently, rocked into me inch by inch until fully seated in me.  Myron then laid still till I became adjusted to his size. He placed little kisses on my face and neck, whispering,. "John ... you’re so tight ... so good ... OH GOD ... love you."

My body wanted more and I bucked against Myron to make him move and I whispered, "Please ... Myron, move ... Please!"

I had lost track of Zeke but I heard Myron growl as he was stopped from thrusting into me by Zeke's hands on his hips.  Knowing what Zeke was about to do, I reached up to pull Myron down to me so that I could capture his lips, trying to distract him as Zeke entered him for the first time.  I murmured soothing words. Gentle kisses to his face and neck and sensual caressing encouraged him as Zeke slowly rocked his way in.  Once Zeke was full embedded in Myron, I heard him say, “Oh God … Darlin’, you’re so tight.  Oh .. God!”

I felt Zeke start to rock back and forth with Myron picking up his rhythm and we were all lost in the dance as old as time and just as passionate.  My body was sizzling with sensations that had been too long denied and I grabbed the back of Myron’s head to drag his lips to mine.  Our tongues dueled for dominance and control, neither of us giving up. There was giving and taking of ground until I broke away to shout my climax.  I then felt the warm liquid of Myron’s release in my passage and heard both Myron and Zeke shout their completion.  Not wanting to be separated from Myron, I clutched him to me, keeping him buried deep within me as he collapsed in exhaustion.

I saw Zeke pull back and fall to his side to look at me with those beautiful blue eyes of his.  He then lifted up so that he could gently but thoroughly kiss me before lying back and falling asleep.  I shortly joined both Myron and Zeke in sleep.

The next thing that I became aware of was hearing Zeke say, “Oh God!”  Then the bed dipped, as he got out of bed. Then nothing.  

…TBC in Brother's Fear